


Dante's Inferno

by archiveofthebeast



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angels, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon-atypical violence, Catholic Guilt, Catholicism, Demons, Demons Aren't Human the Fanfic - Freeform, Explicit Language, Food, Implied Sexual Content, Lessons 1-20, M/M, Minor Violence, Multi, Other, Religion, Self-Insert, Strange Demon Culture, Texting, Weird Demon Food, but nothing explicit, for now that is
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:54:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 48,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25121206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/archiveofthebeast/pseuds/archiveofthebeast
Summary: "In the middle of the journey of our life, I came to myself, in a dark wood, where the direct way was lost. It is a hard thing to speak of, how wild, harsh and impenetrable that wood was, so that thinking of it recreates the fear. It is scarcely less bitter than death: but, in order to tell of the good that I found there, I must tell of the other things I saw there."Two best friends get a transfer to an academy. Whether it's in Hell or the Devildom depends on which one you ask, and whether it's a blessing or a curse depends on who you follow. Faith, family, and friendship will be tested in the trials and tribulations between demons, humans, and angels.
Relationships: Asmodeus (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Character(s), Beelzebub (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Character(s), Belphegor (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Character(s), Leviathan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Character(s), Lucifer (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Character(s), Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Character(s), Satan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Character(s), Simeon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Character(s), Solomon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	1. Nine Circles of Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Virgil proceeds to guide Dante through the nine circles of Hell. The circles are concentric, representing a gradual increase in wickedness, and culminating at the center of the earth, where The Devil is held in bondage."
> 
> Tyz drags their best friend Jason into the demon world, partially against his own will.

“So, that’s the overview of the student exchange program here at RAD. Any questions?”

“Yeah, one. How did I get here? And two, why me?”

It was a large room--larger than any room that Tyz had ever been in. Even some smaller concert halls didn’t compare to this. It was like being in a courtroom, from the vague descriptions they had heard from friends and from television shows. But the number one problem right now was the fact that they had ended up in this strange place with no pretext; they were surrounded by human-looking creatures. “Human-looking”, because, upon further inspection, they were quite… devilish. Yes. They most definitely had some less than human features. To most onlookers, they’d probably be frightening; Tyz is a brave soul, or at least brave enough to not immediately cry and run out of the room when they see tall men with horns.

“You were chosen at random from a list of many human candidates,” the demon speaks up again. His name is Diavolo, apparently, the proclaimed Lord of the Academy. “It could have been anyone, really, not specifically you.”

“You totally glossed over my first question.” Tyz rolls their eyes.

“Ya got kidnapped!” Another demon guffaws. His name is Mammon, the proclaimed Avatar of Greed.

“Kidnapped?!” Tyz shoots a look over to Mammon. Despite his laughing, he seemed pretty serious. Now that they thought about it, they don’t really recall much before arriving here. Yes, by all means, they were just relaxing at home, and then… darkness. Then, bam, weird demon courtroom. If this wasn’t a scene straight out of a 2010s-era kidnap fanfiction… next they’ll be saying that the cute one is going to be taking care of them.

“Ah, Mammon. How nice of you to show up.” One demon looks over. This one is named Lucifer, the proclaimed Avatar of Pride. “You’ll be taking care of Tyz.”

“God,” Tyz mumbles. “Okay! This is happening.”

“Did ya say something?” Mammon’s eyes dart back to Tyz.

“Nothing,” Tyz says. “Nothing at all.” Obviously, it was going to be a very, _very_ strange time here in this strange land of demons.

After that awkward stint of time spent in the meeting room, Mammon and Tyz walk out, trekking to their new place of residence--the House of Lamentation. Not the nicest name for a place, but having a place to stay and sleep was good enough for Tyz. They looked down at their new phone, called a D.D.D. There was no way this primitive little thing would be able to get in contact with their friend, and considering they were in a whole different plane of existence here in the Devildom, it was probably impossible. T-Mobile doesn’t cover Hell.

“Hey, are ya even payin’ attention?” Mammon nudges them on the shoulder. “Come on! If you’re not careful, you’ll run into some statue or somethin’ and be eight million Grimm in debt.”

“Eight _million,_ huh?” Tyz thinks about the number. Eight million. Hey, that’s exactly how much money the main character of _Sakamoto’s Academy Cabaret Club_ was in debt. _I know who likes that show a lot,_ Tyz mused silently to themself, _Jason. Oh, man. I’m not gonna be able to tell him about this._ “Is there really no way to contact the human world from here?”

“What, did ya leave on the oven or somethin’?” Mammon shrugs. “If you’re that desperate… hmm. Ya know? I don’t have to tell ya anything.” He pouts.

“Damn,” Tyz frowns.

This would take some prodding.

* * *

After a few weeks of completing tasks, toying with demons, and making pacts, Tyz finally gets their new friends to spill the beans. The location of the super-important telephone.

“I don’t know why you’d even want to make a call,” the demon called Leviathan rolls his eyes before returning his eyes to his mobile game. “Like, what’s the point?”

“You get a whole fresh start here, why stick your nose in the past?” Mammon tries to bother Leviathan by blowing on his ear, to which he gets a bothered growl and a swat to the nose. “Mm. Why stick my nose in my little brother’s face?”

“To bother me,” Leviathan grunts, tapping faster, “and if you’re not careful, you’ll break my streak, and then I’ll be _really_ mad.”

“Yikes,” Mammon hops off the bed and retires to a beanbag chair on the floor instead. “So. You still wanna get to this phone?”

“Yep,” Tyz nods. “I gotta make a call.”

“Yesss,” Leviathan does a little fist pump in the air. “Three stars!”

“If you do this,” Mammon smirks, “you’re gonna have to sneak into Diavolo’s office.”

“How hard could it be?” Tyz smirks back, knowing it would probably be that hard, and more.

“Well, I guess if Diavolo were to catch you snooping in his office, he’d kill you!” Mammon laughs. “But you’d have me, the great Mammon, there to protect your dainty little self.”

“Uh-uh. I’m coming too.” Leviathan’s eyes are still on the mobile game.

“You can barely peel away from that damn thing!”

Leviathan peels away. “I said, I’m coming too.”

“Sheesh. Fine. But _I’ll_ be the leader. You can protect Tyz from the back.” The plan was set into motion, mostly without Tyz’s final approval, but they were determined to hear from their buddy.

In the dead of night, when most, if not all, demons were asleep, the three snuck out of the House of Lamentation and quietly made their way to the residence of Diavolo and Lucifer. The trek lasted quite a while, mostly on Mammon’s insistence to stop every ten paces and look out. He accomplished this by pushing Tyz to the wall and looking back and forth, despite there being a slim to nil chance of anyone following. _The homoerotic tension can be saved for another day, Mammon,_ Tyz thinks to themself.

The building is all dark, except for gas lanterns that light the outside pathway. Leviathan found a map of the building’s layout, so the three used that to find a side door to enter through, undetected. They slipped silently through the corridors, not wanting to wake anyone. Soon the door to Diavolo’s office appeared before the three. This was it. The office was dark. They opened the door…

… Only to see Diavolo sitting at the desk, boots propped up on it, hands folded over his stomach. The three’s expressions paled. If they weren’t in trouble already, they certainly were now, and for the next ten thousand or so years.

“So.” He smiles, but it’s a cold, foreboding smile. “What brings you three here so late at night?”

“I should have never gotten involved,” Leviathan gulps.

“I told you! I told you!” Mammon mutters to Tyz.

“I wanted to call my friend and I heard you had a special phone here,” Tyz answers honestly. “We didn’t mean to sneak around. I’m sorry.”

Diavolo’s little smile fades, then he suddenly grins again and laughs heartily. “Why didn’t you say so?” He claps his hands, getting his feet off the desk and walking across the room to a cabinet. “You know, if you want to talk to your friend that badly… there’s one last spot for another human transfer. You think they’d enjoy that?”

“Really?” Tyz walks over to the cabinet, which contains a phone--old-fashioned, with a dial circle. “Heh. Oh, this is gonna be great.” They giggle quietly to themself before dialing and picking up the receiver.

The phone rings once, twice, three times.

“Allo.” A sleepy voice comes over the other line.

“Jason!” Tyz smiles. “It’s so good to talk to you.”

“At… this late at night.” Jason pauses to yawn. “What’s the matter, is that chemist burning your affections?”

“What? No.” Tyz shakes their head, thinking about what he’s referring to. _Quarter Plastic Chemist: Superstar._ Yep, they had a thing for that one character, Colt Bolton… that wasn’t what needed to be discussed, though. “I just wanted to talk to you. It’s been a while, you know.”

“It has! I fucking missed you!” He suddenly shouts into the phone. “Sorry! I miss you like a mafia man misses his bond bro.”

“Don’t get me sucked into that mafia shit,” Tyz laughs. “I got into this awesome school.”

“Whaaat!” Jason sits up in bed. “No way.”

“Yes way. Transfer student. And guess what…” Tyz whispers into the receiver. “There’s cute guys.”

“Cute guys?! Sign me up.”

“Well, it’s your lucky day. You can come here.” Tyz turns back to Diavolo, who gives them a thumbs up. “There’s a spot for another transfer student.”

“Really? Oh, man…” Jason frowns. “I really don’t have a dollar to spare. I’m just joshing. I’d love to be there, but there’s no way I could afford an overseas soirée.”

“Actually,” Tyz looks over at Diavolo, who’s smiling widely, “it’s free.”

“F-free?” Jason goes quiet for a few moments before continuing. “I gotta say… if it’s free, I like it. Wait. Room and board.”

Tyz covers the receiver. “Room and board?”

“Covered,” Diavolo waves his hand.

“Covered,” Tyz says back into the receiver.

“Whaaaaaaat!” Jason bounces a bit. “Cute boys, free tuition?! Sign me up! When do I get there?”

“Ummm,” Tyz turns to Diavolo one last time.

“Tomorrow,” he says.

“Tomorrow,” Tyz repeats for Jason.

“Tomorrow?! I… I gotta pack! Where do I even go?”

“I think somebody comes to pick you up,” Tyz scratches the back of their head.

“Wow. Technology is fucked. Then I will be there,” Jason sits up straighter, “I will be there, but it better not be fucking stupid!”

“It won’t be! Just trust me!”

“I trust you. Brother. Kyodai.” Jason grins. “I gotta get back to sleep. Teddy Emmy is getting antsy without my sweet cuddles. Bye bye, love.” The phone hangs up.

“How exactly are you getting Jason here, anyways?” Tyz hangs up the receiver.

“Same way we got you here,” Diavolo gives that little smile again. It was not comforting at all.

* * *

The bed was suddenly cold. No, it wasn’t his bed. And he wasn’t in pajamas, either, that was for sure. He wouldn’t be caught dead taking anything long sleeved to bed. Way too uncomfortable. Now that Jason thought about it, he felt more like he was in regular clothes than anything else. He felt around for a pillow, a stuffed animal, any indication that he might still be in bed, but there was nothing. And the pressure on him from his clothes also told him he wasn’t dreaming--in most dreams he was running around nude as the day he was born.

“Get up,” he hears a familiar voice above him.

“Mm. I’m getting up,” Jason replies, not getting up at all.

“Get up, or Emmanuel Everest the Quarter Plastic Chemist ain’t giving you any kisses.” He felt a shoe tap his leg.

“Bro, what?! That’s totally dirty!” Jason opens his eyes and pushes himself off the floor. The floor. He was not in his room. He was not in his bed. He was not in pajamas. He was in some strange… room. A concert hall? No. But it was big like one. He stands up, looking around. “Yoo. Sick ass dream. Okay, when do I get to strip?”

“Ahem,” a deep voice behind him clears their throat. He turns to see what one might assume at first glance is human, but Jason notices the notches and titches and differences right away. No, this was _not_ a human. Jason’s expression pales. “I’m afraid you’re mistaken--”

“OH, SHIT!” Jason loudly yells. “JESUS, CHRIST ALMIGHTY!” He looks down at his hands. Ten fingers. Or eight, if you didn’t call thumbs fingers. He blinks once, twice. Still ten. He was most certainly awake. That thing was not human. “HOLY FUCK!”

“My, Tyz, your friend’s got quite the language!” Another assumed demon is dressed in all red, smiling and folding his arms over his chest.

“T-Tyz?!” Jason whips his head around, locating his best friend. “Tyz!” He runs up, slapping his hands on their shoulders. “My dear, what the _fuck?!”_

“Umm,” Tyz shrugs. “Welcome to the Devildom?”

“DEVIL?” Jason’s expression pales even further. He’s almost white as a sheet. “DEVIL, DID YOU SAY?”

“Yep.”

“Devil.” His lips curl downwards. “Devils.”

“Yep.”

He gets up close to Tyz’s ear. “You said… there were… _cute boys…_ Tyz. My sweet, sweet friend. I was promised _cute boys_ and you are fucking telling me these are demons. Devils.”

Tyz gets up close to whisper back. “The demons are the cute boys.”

“Bullshit!” Jason shoves them away, lightly. “Bull! Fucking! Shit!” His eyes darted around. It felt like eyes were watching, peering everywhere at him. “Jesus! I’m out!” He locates the nearest door, half running and half jumping to get the _Hell,_ no personal pun intended, _out of dodge._

Tyz looks over at Diavolo and Lucifer. Diavolo is still chuckling at the whole ordeal, and Lucifer is frowning, a dramatic, gloved hand thrown over his chest in shock. “I thought you said he would enjoy it here,” Lucifer glooms.

“I guess I forgot to tell him about the devil part.” Tyz sighs. “That, and the fact that he’s a self-proclaimed Catholic might have something to do with it.”

“Oh, no!” Diavolo laughs. “This is too much! You’ll have to excuse me!”

“Tyz, you wouldn’t happen to know where he would go, would you?” Lucifer looks over to them and frowns again.

“Probably the bathroom,” Tyz walks off towards the door and goes out looking for their best friend.

Meanwhile, Jason is tearing ass through the school campus. It’s large and he doesn’t have a map, so he mostly jogs aimlessly, trying his best to avoid lumbering demons of all shapes, sizes, and colors. “God, this is too much! I joke about banging demons all the time, but this is real, actual Hell! I’m not supposed to go to Hell! I’ve been a good boy!” He continues jogging. “I don’t know what I’m going to do! If this isn’t a dream, I’m done for!” He huffs. “That scenery is fucking lovely! I wish I could take a photo of it! I am so fucking screwed!” He stops, leaning on a fountain to catch his breath. He looks at his reflection in the water, or what he at least assumed was water. It looked like him. He wasn’t dreaming. He was past that point. He had been dragged down to Hell without a second thought, and there was nothing he could do about it.

He’s soon approached, and yelps when a hand is placed on his shoulder. “Oh, God!”

“Jason! It’s me.” Tyz smiles down at him. “Sorry for scaring you.”

“Oh, Lord.” He sighs. “I’m okay. But I think we’re both dead. We’re in Hell, Tyz.”

“Jason…” Tyz pinches the bridge of their nose. “Jason, this isn’t Hell, it’s the _Devildom._ Get it right.”

“A rose by any other name would be just as deadly,” Jason muses. “If it’s not Hell, explain the demons!”

“Devil… dom. Devil. King-dom.”

“Sounds fake.”

“You’re impossible.”

“And you love me for that!” Jason smiles up at Tyz. “But seriously. Am I dreaming?”

Tyz proceeds to pinch Jason’s cheeks. “Are you?”

“Mm… no…” Jason knits his brows.

“So. Are you ready to come back?” Tyz pats his shoulders.

“Oh, _Hell_ no. I’m never going back in there.” Jason shakes his head with a smile. “I am finding a way to get the fuck out of here and then I’m gonna get _you_ outta here too!” He waves his hands. “Hang in there, princess, I’ll get you out of there!”

“Quit sounding like a donkey,” Tyz grumbles.

“Hee-haw!” Jason makes donkey noises in response.

“You’re coming back whether you like it or not,” Tyz grabs his hand with an iron grip and starts taking him back towards the hall.

“No no no!” Jason tries to squirm out of their grasp, to no avail. “I’ll stay! Okay! I’ll stay! But I’m _not_ going back to get the deets from those demons! I’m getting my information from humans, and only from humans!”

“You’re so picky,” Tyz shakes their head. “Fine. Back to the dorms. But you know you’ll have to talk to them eventually, right?”

“I don’t have to do anything I don’t wanna do,” Jason shakes his head, still following them.

“You’re always like this,” Tyz smiles. “Grumpy, grumpy, then suddenly, you’re in love.”

“Not true.”

“Is true.”

“Is not.”

“Is so.”

“Is not!”

The two bicker for the rest of the walk to the House of Lamentation.

* * *

The House of Lamentation was this great hall filled with art, decorations, statues, and other things that piqued Jason’s interests. If they were in art, demons were fine. There was a recreation of _The Creation of Adam_ upon a certain ceiling. It made Jason smile. He knew he would probably never be able to see the Sistine Chapel, so the recreation, even in Hell, was a welcome sight. It made the transition a little easier. Though taking a little from 100 isn’t very much, in the scheme of things. Jason was still on edge from the fact he considered himself to be in Hell, and if not dead, he was a wandering spirit looking for redemption. It was frightening, and as far as he knew, he only had the clothes on his back to his ownership.

“So. It’s school.” Jason made the trek through the long, winding hallways with Tyz leading.

“It’s school.” They nod.

“So my classes are gonna be full of demons.”

“Yep.”

“I’m gonna fail.”

“Never did I think there’d come a day where Jason “I got straight-a’s in high school” Chemist Lover would say he was gonna fail.” When they reach a corner, they turn, walking along again.

“Hey! Did you call me Chemist Lover? Shut up.” Jason grumbles, still following along, stopping at some intervals to look at some pretty vases or sculptures out on display.

“I did. Am I wrong?”

“Mmmmno.”

“Exactly. Alright.” They arrive in a certain part of the hallway. Two doors stand across from each other. “We’re here! Your room is on that side,” Tyz points to the left door, “mine is on this side.”

“Aw, sweet. My own room! I feel so grown!” Jason immediately moves to open the door. The doorknob clicks. “It’s locked.”

“Oh.” Tyz shrugs. “Guess we’ll have to call one of the boys to open it.”

“The boys.”

“Yep.”

“Meaning one of those sinful devils.”

“Yep.”

“Fuck, man! Fuck!” Jason stomps his foot dramatically, even though this isn’t a situation that warrants a tantrum. “I don’t wanna _see_ demons. I don’t wanna. As much as humanly possible.”

“Jeez. Fine, stay in my room.” Tyz opens the door to their room, letting Jason in.

The room was mostly dark, but from what Jason could make out without a central light being on, it was pretty nice. There was a bed surrounded by pillows, a little kitchenette, a table with chairs surrounding it. And was that a tree growing through the floor? It might as well be. He squinted. He could have sworn there was something yellow glowing in the distance, but it could have been his imagination. He wanders over to the bed, sitting on it. He can’t help but feel there’s someone else up on it with him. Tyz peeks their head into the room, turning on the light. The tree illuminates, revealing that the bed is populated by none other than a demon.

“TYZ!” Jason yelps, jumping off the bed. “THERE’S AN UNHOLY MOTHERFUCKER IN HERE!”

“Hey! Who ya callin’ unholy?!” The demon scowls at Jason.

“BEGONE! I’M A CHILD OF GOD!” Jason backs away, dashing to the door, but Tyz shuts it. “TYZ, LET ME OUT!”

“Bond with him! It’ll be five minutes!” Tyz turns back out into the hallway, ringing up Lucifer to come unlock the door.

Jason bangs on the door, to no avail. He gulps heavily, turning back to the demon. “Jesus Christ,” he mutters.

“Relax. I’m not gonna eat ya.” The demon shoves his hands in his pockets. Jason notices how he has growths, like horns, protruding from the tops of his hands. “I’ve heard you’re Tyz’s friend, and I don’t want ‘em getting mad at me anyways.” He shrugs his shoulders.

“Stay back, foul beast,” Jason holds out his hands.

“What’s your problem?” The demon stares Jason down. “Is the Great Mammon too scary for you?”

“I’m not scared,” lies Jason, doing his best to put on a façade of calm. “I just have no reason to trust demons. Even ones that are friends with my best bud.”

“Best bud? Oh, no. You got that way wrong, human.” The demon, who Jason assumes is called Mammon, or maybe The Great Mammon, pads around the room. “You see, _I’m_ Tyz’s first.”

“F-first?!” Jason flushes. “Gross! I don’t wanna hear about you and your… freaky demon genitals!”

Tyz knocks hard on the door. “Jason! Not like that. First, as in first to make a _pact_ with me.”

“And what, does that involve… you know… _doing it?!”_ Jason shouts back.

“No!” Tyz sighs hard.

“You best not have forced Tyz into anything, Great Mammon, or I’ll make _sure_ to burn you.”

“I didn’t f--did you just call me Great Mammon?” Mammon stares down at Jason from the side.

“It’s your name, right? I might not like you but I’ll at least call you by name.”

“...Yeah, of course it is.” Mammon gives a sly grin down to Jason. He’s got him on the hook. “Anyways, it wasn’t by any sort of _force,_ if anything, _they_ were begging _me_ for a pact!” He pushes a thumb to his chest triumphantly.

“No…” Jason grimaces. “Tyz, say it ain’t so!”

“Busy,” they say, stepping further away from the door.

“I can’t believe it.” Jason’s hands curl into fists at his sides.

“Believe it, baby,” Mammon shrugs.

“Don’t call me baby.”

“Okay, human.”

“Hmph.” Jason huffs. “I don’t care if you’re Tyz’s favorite. I got my eye on you. So watch your ass, Great Mammon.” He makes a looking signal, pointing a V-shape at his eyes, then back at Mammon.

“Whatever!” Mammon huffs back.

The door suddenly opens, and Jason turns to see Tyz and another demon lurking over them, at least two heads taller, if not more, from his quick calculations. He yells, quite loudly, jumping backwards. He, unfortunately, lands square in Mammon’s arms.

“Tyz! Good Lord, watch the fuck out!” Jason fishes in his pockets for anything of substance to defend Tyz. All he can find is his limited-edition _Quarter Plastic Chemist: Superstar_ pocket watch, which he tosses with vague accuracy. It hits the large demon on the chest before pitifully clinking to the floor. Tyz picks it up.

“Get offa me!” Mammon shoves Jason back, not too hard, and he stumbles forward.

“Yuck!” Jason shakes, as if there’s demon dandruff to get off of his clothes. “Tyz, come on!” He reaches out for them.

“Jason, relax. He’s a friend. And I don’t know if you’ve gotten the memo yet, but this is the Devildom, and most people here are demons.” Tyz frowns. They hand the watch back over to Jason, who inspects it for damage before pocketing it.

“O-oh.” Jason flushes in shame.

“He doesn’t seem to recall me,” the tall demon leans over to Tyz.

“It’s been a long day for him,” Tyz replies.

“It’s been, what, two hours?”

“A long day.” Tyz turns back to Jason. “Jason, this is Lucifer.”

“Lucifer?” Jason ponders over the name. “Just like… nay, nevermind.”

“I beg your pardon?” Lucifer puts a hand over his chest and tilts his head.

“Nothing!” Jason shakes his head. “Listen. Did my door get opened?”

“Yep,” Tyz nods.

“Oh, joy. If you don’t mind…” Jason steps around Tyz, trying to find an exit, “I’d like to go there.”

“Hold it.” Lucifer’s icy stare bores into Jason’s skin, latching on like a flea. “Before you leave.” Jason gulps hard. Lucifer reaches out a gloved hand. “Welcome to the Devildom.”

Jason stares down the hand before taking it and giving it a few light pumps. “Thank you.” He refused to admit that the devil’s warm hand in his was a welcome feeling. Jason quickly squeezed past his best friend and the devil, out into the hallway, where he could finally get some fresh air. The hand that Lucifer held to his chest could have been taken as offense, but his implied smile said otherwise.

“It’s gonna feel good to be independent,” Jason peers inside the door, feeling around for a lightswitch, turning it on. The two devils and other human watched on before having another unrelated conversation.

The room was dimly lit with some string lights around a central pole. It was essentially a mirror of Tyz’s room--bed, kitchenette, table, chairs, et cetera and more. There was a large suitcase and a small briefcase by the bed. The talking died down in the hallway. Upon opening the cases, Jason discovers some of his clothes and belongings in it. When these were packed, he didn’t know, because he doesn’t remember packing any clothes at all. There were also plenty of supplies in the briefcase for school activities--notebooks, pencils, pens, paper. It was all very strange but much appreciated.

“I guess this begins my new life,” Jason muses to himself. “No parents. No authority. No gods, no masters.” He pulls a leatherbound book from the suitcase, bearing strong resemblance to a Bible. “If this isn’t foreshadowing, I don’t know what is.”

* * *

There were many things to get used to. Firstly was the fact that time here was essentially the same it was in the human world--was it right to call it the human world?--and as such, the date was the same. Whether they counted the year as after death, though, was out of the question. Jason had no clue about that. It was a Sunday. That was what mattered. That meant that tomorrow would supposedly start classes. The rest of today would be spent… _adjusting_ to other things here in Hell--he meant, the Devildom.

First things first. The book would be kept close to his person. That way, in case any unholy thing stepped a little close, he could beam them over the head with it. That is, if he could reach. His present experiences with devils marked them as much, much taller than him. Enough so that it would take a little tackling to be able to beam them. No matter. It would be kept nearby. Next. The bathroom. Its decor seemed to revolve around… of all things, _eyes,_ which freaked Jason out. Even the soap was shaped like an eye, piercing. It smelled perfectly normal. Whatever normal was now. The towels were dark red. _Good for hiding bloodstains,_ Jason thought. Next. The rest of the room. It looked perfectly fine for a room. The bed was comfortable enough, but he’d probably end up having troubles sleeping with the lack of, he was embarrassed to admit it, stuffed animals. No, whatever benevolent spirit packed up his undies did not think to toss even one of his teddy bears in there with it. He frowned.

A knock came to his door as it opened. He would have to remember to lock it. Jason turned to see his best friend.

“Aren’t you coming down for dinner?” Tyz pointed a thumb back out into the hallway.

“Dinner? I’m being fed?” Jason always liked food. Food was the one constant in life. Food was always there for you. And boy, was he hungry.

“Yeah,” Tyz nods. “Come on.”

Jason eagerly follows Tyz down the winding stairs of the House of Lamentation, down a few hallways, until they reached two large oak double doors. Tyz opened it for Jason. Jason smiles and walks in, but his face immediately sours once he sees it--six demons sitting around a long table, ready to eat dinner, dinner that may as well be human flesh, because they look pretty fucking ravenous.

Jason turns heel and tries to run, but is caught by Tyz’s outstretched arm. “Lemme go! Lemme go! I’ll fend for myself! I’ll forage for mushrooms and bugs! Come on!” He squirms in Tyz’s grasp, not using all of his muscle to get out, out of fear of hurting them.

“You are going to eat dinner with us,” Tyz leans down to him, “and you are gonna _like it.”_

Jason frowns, shivers, and turns back to face the demons. All twelve of their eyes are on him. He gulps hard. “I think I’m gonna be sick.”

“Do it or you’re a baby.” Tyz knows exactly how to push their best friend’s buttons.

“B-baby?!” Jason sputters. “I’m no baby! I’m a _man!_ And I will fucking! Sit there! Right there!” He points to an empty seat between two demons. “And show you I’ve got balls bigger than the Mariana Trench!” He walks over on shaky legs to the seat, pulling it out and sitting down. His feet hang an inch off the ground. _This is embarrassing,_ he thinks.

Tyz takes a seat between the two demons Jason had already met--Lucifer and Mammon. In fact, Lucifer sat at the head of the table, then Tyz came to his right, and after Tyz, Mammon. Next to Mammon sat a purple-haired demon, whose eyes seemed to be glued to his lap, similar to a high schooler who was trying to hide their phone from the teacher. Next to the one Jason decided to dub as Nerd, there was a blond-haired demon, who seemed to be glaring off in the direction of Lucifer. The blond-haired demon bore a striking resemblance to one of the main characters of _Sakamoto’s Academy Cabaret Club,_ thus earning him the nickname of Cabaret. Next to Jason, to the left of Lucifer, sat a demon with curly auburn locks, who was casting a salacious look down at Jason. Look. Looky. This one would be called Hooky. Jason immediately looked away from him. Hooky’s eyes seemed to be staring directly through his clothes. He shuddered. To Jason’s left, one last demon, a large one with fluffy orange hair. His body was much broader than the rest. He was too focused on his food to notice Jason sitting down next to him. As he chomped down with glee, Jason decided to call him Bear, because he ate like a bear out of hibernation.

Jason looked down at his plate. It was covered in food that was completely alien to him. He looked over to Tyz with panic in his eyes. Tyz was already eating away at their plate, chatting with Mammon between bites. He looked back down to his plate. His stomach growled in discontent. He looked to his glass. It seemed to be water. Thank God that water was the basis of all life, from single-celled organisms to complex mammals. He sipped away at it, cold and refreshing.

“Somebody’s thirsty, hmm?” Jason hears the voice from just a bit above him. It’s Hooky, the one who was staring Jason down like he was a three course dinner.

They meet eyes. Hooky’s eyes are an impossibly bright pink hue, like a vibrant rose. Jason doesn’t say anything, instead entranced by the color of those eyes.

“Can’t stop staring at me, can you, tiger?” The nickname snaps Jason out of the trance. He looks down and away in shame. His stomach grumbles again. He sips some more water.

“Asmodeus,” Jason recognizes the deep voice as Lucifer. “No seducing our guests at the table.”

“Oh, come on! Loosen up!” Hooky, or as Jason now heard, Asmodeus, whines. Deus, that’s the Latin for _God,_ and Asmo, that sounds pretty close to _aesthetic,_ now that Jason thought about it. And Lucifer--that’s the name of the devil, previously angel, who fell from Heaven after defying God’s will. Mammon, of course, did not sound familiar at all. Maybe that name was in some book somewhere that Jason read long ago, but it doesn’t make him think as hard as the name Lucifer does.

“On that note,” Lucifer seems to be wrapping up some little spat with Asmodeus, “perhaps it’s time to introduce our _other_ new exchange student.”

The table falls silent, and eyes peer at Jason. He looks up, staring at Tyz for some direction. Tyz makes a motion to smile.

“Jason?” Lucifer’s voice is loud without being loud--no, it’s _commanding_ is what it is, commanding even without uttering a command. Jason stands up, trying to peer his head over the table. It reaches the middle of his abdomen with ease.

“Hi,” he tries not to fidget in front of all the eyes of the demons. “I appreciate you all allowing me to stay here.”

Lucifer smiles, something small, but still noticeable to the careful eye. “We should perhaps introduce ourselves. You already know me, but I’m Lucifer.” He puts a hand to his chest.

Jason starts to sweat under the pressure, despite not being the one talking. He’s talking to demons. For someone who claims to want to get closer to his family’s religion, he’s sure straying far from it by talking to actual demons in literal Hell.

“Mammon,” the other demon Jason met earlier smirks and snarks at Jason. “I’ve already got one human on my plate to help out, so don’t think I’m doing you any favors.”

“I never asked,” Jason mutters inaudibly.

“Leviathan. Levi’s fine.” Nerd speaks up, eyes still glued to his lap. Jason notices how there’s little horn-like protrusions on his neck. Similar to how Mammon has those tiny protrusions on his hands.

“No way I’m giving a demon a nickname,” Jason frowns internally, biting his cheek so it doesn’t show.

“I’m Satan.” Cabaret puts a hand to his chest as well, mirroring Lucifer’s pose. The two lock eyes for a moment, making the air tense and cold, but soon disconnect.

“The fallen angel _and_ the ruler of Hell?” Jason’s hands feel wet and clammy.

“Well, finally, my time to introduce myself. I’m Asmodeus, but you can call me anytime.” Hooky giggles at his terrible pick up line. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding! Asmo is fine.”

Jason makes no reply, feeling like Asmodeus is too close and might hear if he makes a remark. He looks over to the last one.

“Beelzebub,” he says, simply. “Beel.” His voice is deep and striking, much like Lucifer’s. His stare is almost worse: predatory, ravenous. Jason notices the tiny horns on his cheeks. They’re like little tusks. “Are you going to finish that?” He points to Jason’s plate.

“Beelzebub, really?” Lucifer looks over with discontent spread on his face.

“No, it’s alright.” Jason gulps, the formality trying to peek out. “Sir.”

“Sir?” Lucifer mutters.

“Thanks,” Beelzebub takes up Jason’s plate, still full and untouched, and digs into it as well, cleaning it off in no time flat.

Lucifer clears his throat, keeping an eye on Jason’s side of the table. “In regards to your enrollment here at RAD, we want to yet again welcome you, Jason. And much like we did for our first human exchange student,” he nods over to Tyz, who smiles, “I’ll have one of us help you out. To show you around, to give you an idea of how things work here in the Devildom..”

“I ain’t doing it.” Mammon crosses his legs. “Plain ‘n’ simple.”

“I didn’t finish.” Lucifer’s smile drops. “Asmodeus.”

“Oh, I’d just be _honored,”_ Asmodeus’s voice drips with excitement. Jason turns to him. Their eyes lock again. “Get ready, cutie.” He giggles.

“Don’t call me cute,” Jason blurts without thinking. He looks away, sitting back in his chair, which is still too high for him to truly sit in comfortably.

“Thank you, Asmodeus,” Lucifer puts a hand to his chest again, nodding. “I expect you to do a good job.”

“Anything for my favorite big brother,” Asmodeus replies. Jason can’t shake the feeling that his words aren’t coming from a place of truth, but he tries to ignore it.

The rest of the dinner continues in relative silence, until the brothers all finish and everyone is excused to return to their dorms. Before leaving, Tyz and Jason peel off to the side of the room to talk.

“That was the most uncomfortable dinner I’ve ever sat through,” Jason whines. “And I didn’t even eat anything.”

“No appetite? From the guy who constantly talks about wanting a snack?” Tyz frowns.

“I don’t know what they were serving and I don’t want to find out.”

“I thought you pride yourself in how you’d try everything once.”

“I didn’t expect to be eating a meal in Hell.”

“Devildom.”

“Whatever.” Jason shakes his head.

“Jason,” Tyz grabs him by the shoulders. “You need to be careful around Asmodeus. Okay?”

“Why?” Jason was already slightly uneasy with him, but he was uneasy with all the demons.

“He’s the Avatar of Lust.”

“Avatar?”

“Every one of these demons is representative of a sin,” Tyz waves a hand to the dispersing devils. “Lucifer, pride. Mammon, greed. Leviathan, envy. Satan, wrath. Asmodeus, lust. Beelzebub, gluttony. It’s just like the bad guys in _Quarter Plastic Chemist: Superstar.”_

“Lust.” Jason was in deep trouble. He was a young man emotionally incapable of controlling his carnal desires. Physically, never acting, but _damn,_ even the thought of being buddy-buddy with the personification, or demonification, of lust, was a frightening predicament. He’d have to practice chastity at twice the level he was before. “Hey, Tyz.”

“Yeah?”

“Isn’t there--”

“Oh, Jason!” Before Jason can finish his thought, he’s interrupted by a pair of shoes clicking across the floor quickly towards the two. It’s Asmodeus. “The night’s still young, you know! I’ve got so much to show you before classes start tomorrow!”

“Good luck,” Tyz smirks.

“Yeah.” Jason pockets the thought. _It’s_ **_seven_ ** _deadly sins. Pride, greed, envy, wrath, lust, gluttony… the last one. Where’s sloth? Asleep? That would make sense, I guess. But… still, even Tyz didn’t mention who the Avatar of Sloth is._

“Come on!” Asmodeus grabs Jason by the hand. Jason’s almost taken aback by the bold motion.

“I’m slow, hold up!” Jason skitters on his short legs to keep up with the demon. He sends up a silent prayer, wondering if there was any God above looking out for him, or if he was on his own. _Dear God, send me down an angel to save me from this. And save my poor friend, too. Amen._ He grips Asmodeus’s palm tighter.

“Oh, Jason. You’re lucky to be paired up with me, and not that meanie Mammon.” The two soon arrive back in the main hall of the House of Lamentation. Asmodeus grasps both of Jason’s hands in his. “Look at you, poor thing. Levi wouldn’t give you a lick of attention, Satan would tear you to pieces, and Beel would gobble you up! Truly, you must be the luckiest human around.”

“If I’m lucky, the odds are never in my favor,” Jason frowns.

“They’re in your favor so long as you’re with me,” Asmodeus puts a hand to his chin, “the adorable demon that _everyone_ loves.”

“Really,” Jason looks up at him. He’s definitely not unpleasant to look at. Yes, he had the same parts to him that marked him as inhuman, but he was a _pretty_ demon, a very pretty demon, maybe one of the prettiest men Jason had ever got the pleasure of laying eyes on, and his mind was wandering too much now. He snapped back to reality.

“Are you getting lost in my eyes already?” Asmodeus tips Jason’s chin up to look him directly in the eyes. “Look closer, my dear.”

Jason stares, he stares deep into Asmodeus’s sickly pink eyes, which seem to glow and vibrate in patterns and shapes one would see in a kaleidoscope, mixing around the pupil and almost dragging him into a different world. But the closer he looks, the more he finds these eyes are just mirrors, and he sees his face reflected in the iris, staring right back at him.

“I’m pretty good at staring contests,” Jason says, still looking. “People don’t like my freaky eyes.”

“Hmm,” Asmodeus hums with a disappointed tone. “It didn’t work.”

“Haw?” Jason looks down, breaking away from the stare. He looks back up at Asmodeus.

“Nothing, nothing,” Asmodeus smiles. “I’ll get my way with you another time.”

“Do demons burn up to a crisp if they touch a Bible or other holy book? Or crosses? Just wondering.” Jason stares Asmodeus up and down. He’s on the leaner side, and unfortunately, much taller than Jason, though he was the shortest of the demons at the table. If Jason looked directly at him, his eyes would meet the center of his chest.

“No, but there are _other_ things that make me… burn up.” Asmodeus says the last two words as if they’re something private, secretive.

“Like?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Asmodeus smirks and runs a finger through Jason’s hair, which makes him flinch. “Oh, sorry, my dear. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

The more Jason looked at Asmodeus, the more he saw him as human instead of demon. “I don’t mind,” he shoves his hands in his pockets, “I’m just not used to people touching me.” The two walk down the hallway, towards the dorms, side by side.

“One would think a stud like you would be simply drowning in dates!” Asmodeus laughs, an uptight giggle that bounces around in his nose for a moment before coming out.

“I used to think the same. Turns out people don’t want a fat boy,” Jason jokes back. He completely forgets that he’s talking to a demon he just met a little while ago, instead feeling like he’s talking to a close friend or acquaintance. “You’re allowed to laugh. I made the fat joke. Don’t worry.”

“There’s not much to laugh about,” Asmodeus comments. “A body’s a body.”

“Is it ironic or telling that the Avatar of Lust says that?”

“That’s all up to you,” he giggles.

The two soon arrive at Jason’s room. Asmodeus stands behind Jason, humming quietly to himself. Jason opens the door, keeping his key close.

“May I come in?” Asmodeus clasps his slender hands together. Jason notices his immaculately painted nails, along with just how… particularly _long_ his fingers were. The Avatar of Lust probably did _not_ play piano.

“No. Is a _no_ enough to stop a demon? Is it like a vampire thing, where if you don’t invite them in, they can’t come into your house?” Jason keeps himself positioned between Asmodeus and the door, as if he’d be able to stop a centuries-old demon.

Asmodeus giggles again, the flirtatious little thing. “I’m so sad you’d reject me!” He playfully pouts. “But no. I could just force my way in, but…” He pauses and frowns. “Force isn’t my style, you know?”

 _At least he’s courteous,_ Jason thinks. “The answer is still no.”

“You’ll be falling for this charm sooner or later, Jason,” Asmodeus wags a finger at him. “I can see it deep within you. You can’t resist, can you?”

Jason shudders. The leatherbound book shifts around in his pocket. “I can.” He felt like he was telling a lie, and his face flushed in suit.

“I’ll be here for you bright and early tomorrow morning, so you best be ready for me, okay?” Asmodeus wiggles around with glee before reaching out a finger to touch Jason on the nose. It’s a simple, friendly motion, but it sets Jason aflame on the inside.

“I can navigate just fine on my own.” Jason probably could not navigate the halls that reminded him of an Escher painting, but he didn’t want to seem like he was relying on anyone, especially Asmodeus, for help. Like any of the other demons would be any better.

“Night night! Sleep tight! Don’t let the fire beetles bite!” Asmodeus waves over his shoulder as he walks down the hall, soon disappearing around a corner, most likely off to his room.

“Fire beetles?!” Jason frowns. He wasn’t really fond of insects. He looks over to Tyz’s door. It’s closed, probably locked. Who knows--they could have slipped in there already and are winding down. He walks through his own open door, shutting it tight behind him and flipping on the light.

Nothing changed from when he was first in there--there was still a suitcase with his clothes, the bed was still in the same place, and he mistakenly left on the light in the bathroom. What a fool. At least he didn’t have to pay any bills here. He gathered up some of his things to prepare for bed. Once it was all set, he moved to the bathroom to clean up. Maybe a shower would clear his thoughts. Hopefully it was regular water, like the stuff he drank downstairs at dinner. _Dinner._ His stomach grumbled, empty. For a guy with an appetite like a lion, he didn’t eat a thing. Once in the shower, he tried to keep his mind off all the events of today. The soaps in there, thankfully, were similar to the ones he used at home. _Home._ There was some sort of aching in his heart for home. Home, where he had friends and family, and… wasn’t this the kind of escape he had always secretly wanted? To run away to somewhere new, surrounded by strangers, to give life another try? But it was so scary--whether the fear sprouted from being in Hell surrounded by demons or from being in a foreign land itself, he wasn’t so sure.

The shower did not clear his head. If anything, it made his head feel more full of thoughts than before. When he dried off and dressed up, getting into bed, he wondered if a demon would come to him during the night and eat him whole. Is that door even locked? Or is it on an anykey, and one of those freaky little things could just wander by and pop it open? He tried to think of a song, some Schubert or Handel or Mozart or Bach to calm him, but nothing seemed to help. He felt both completely nerved out and like he was full of cotton. At least the bed was comfortable. He lay straight on his back, hands clasped together over his chest.

_Are you there, God? It’s me, Jason. You know what? It’s probably not even worth it. I doubt you can hear me all the way down in Hell._

He falls into a deep, restless sleep, a violet whisper tickling through his ears as he breathes away.

* * *

“Look at me, I’m the principal of Devil Academy, and I’m going to make the uniform the most fucked up, complex piece of cloth imaginable, because my students can probably just appearify it onto their bodies!”

Jason looked in the mirror with discontent as he struggled with the uniform of RAD. He woke up to some ungrateful texts from his best friend this morning.

**I got your number**

**Jason. There’s a uniform**

**Just so u know**

**I think that got overlooked but it should be in your closet**

**THERE’S A FUCKING UNIFORM?!?!?!**

**It better be sexy as hell or i’m leaving**

**(No pun intended)**

**(Or maybe fully intended)**

**Tyz wtf how do these buttons go on**

**Baby?**

**Tyz**

**Dude .**

**You can figure it out**

**You’re a big boy**

**Like emotionally. Not physically lmao**

**You better get your stupid little pact boy to**

**protect your ass**

**Whatever his name was**

**Great Marmon**

**MARMON?**

**FUCKING MARMON?**

**I was goofin**

**You were not you were 100% serious**

**END**

Thus, he ended up looking in the closet, and plucking out this theatre-style costume that was apparently the uniform. With the lack of undershirt included on the hanger, Jason was under the assumption he could wear whatever underneath, so he plucked a crisp white dress shirt from the closet, thankfully in his size. How they got his (admittedly different) size and happened to have a handful of crisp white dress shirts on hand for him, he didn’t know, but wasn’t about to question it. Especially not with his stomach begging him to get something to eat.

His dress shirt got tucked neatly into the black dress slacks with a singular red stripe adorning the outsides. The pants, of course, fit perfectly around the legs, but lacked support in the whole waist area. Jason fixed this with a belt, having to hold up the slacks with one hand and thread the belt through the loops with the other. The door clicks open, and shoes come tapping across the floor.

“Jason, my little sweetheart!” Though Tyz and Jason called each other by lovey nicknames, this was definitely not Tyz’s voice. It was Asmodeus, Jason’s proverbial guard dog (if one could even call someone as flitty and flamboyant as Asmodeus a dog).

“Eep!” Jason shrieks, a high-pitched little yelp, hiking up his slacks as far as he could. “Jesus almighty, close the damn door!”

“Ooh, private time?” Asmodeus shuts the door, tittering into the room, mere feet from Jason.

“You ever heard of this thing called _knocking?_ It’s when you put your fist to the door to announce your presence,” Jason grumbles, embarrassed.

“I like the green boxer briefs,” Asmodeus muses. Jason clasps his rear, thankful that his pants got up the rest of the way and that Asmodeus probably only saw a bit below the band.

“Listen to me, Asmodeus. I’ve undressed in front of lots of guys before--”

“Didn’t know you were into that, you dirty dog!” Asmodeus folds his arms and grins, bobbing his head back and forth.

“Not like that! Ugh. I was in choir in high school. Sometimes you didn’t have time to get into your own bathroom stall. Therefore, I’ve seen outlines of junk and bare chests aplenty. But they were all guys I knew for at least a year. So what I’m saying, is… next time… fucking knock!” Jason finally threads the belt through the last loop, buckling it tight.

“Aw, but the element of surprise…”

“The element of surprise my ass!”

“Your ass sure was a surprise, and a welcome one at that.”

“Did you come to my room to harass me, or are you gonna _help?”_ Jason gestures to the coat. There’s too many buttons on it. Though he was used to dressing in a professional three-piece, this style of coat wasn’t one he was used to.

“Are you asking for my hands on you? Because that can be arranged. Very easily.” Asmodeus smiles, a bit sinister. It’s obvious his mind is elsewhere.

“If I could avoid it, I would. But I can’t put this on on my own. So… yeah. I need your help.” Jason slips on the jacket; the one part he actually knows how to do.

“Whatever you say, handsome.” Asmodeus approaches him, getting on one knee in front of him. When he was like this, they met eye-to-eye--literally. “So, you like me on my knees?”

Jason resisted the urge to make any sort of dirty comment back. _Just because I talk about getting naughty a lot doesn’t mean I’m prepared for it! Lord!_ “Just help me button this up, please.”

“Not even a little bit of begging?”

“I’m stronger than I look, you know.” Jason tries to give him a menacing look, but knowing his naturally non-threatening shape, it probably didn’t work.

“Oh, I bet you are, big guy,” Asmodeus coos. Jason can’t deny how his face gets warm at the complimenting. The buttons fasten with a satisfying _click_ each time Asmodeus presses down on them, and soon, the jacket is done. Jason turns to face the mirror, and realizes, eyes wide, that this jacket looks _tacky as fuck._

“Asmodeus,” Jason frowns. “It looks tacky as fuck.”

“Whatever do you mean--oh. Yeah, that _does_ look kind of tacky.” Asmodeus snaps out of flirtatious mode and seems serious for once. Jason should have guessed something like this would happen once it was all done up. The jacket is supposed to, as Jason looks at Asmodeus’s uniform, reach the back of the knee. Jason’s did not, due to his shortness, and most likely, his shortness in relation to the tallness of the general demon population. The jacket reached to almost the floor, barely held above the short heels on his dress shoes.

“I’m not wearing this.” Jason starts unbuttoning the terrible, scratchy jacket.

“Now you’re stripping for me,” Asmodeus giggles again. “It’s my lucky day!”

“Just the jacket.” Jason shakes it off his arms and deposits it back in the closet, trading it out for his own jacket that actually fits--the leather “biker” style jacket. It was comfortable, not scratchy, and it actually looked like it belonged on him. “Classic and cool. I can dig this.”

“I can dig it, too.”

“The look’s not for your consumption, Asmodeus.” Jason turns, grabbing his bag of supplies. “Alright, unholy thing, do what you must. Show me the way.”

“I’ve been so excited for this moment that I hardly slept last night,” Asmodeus bounces, auburn locks waving around his head like streamers. He grabs Jason’s hand and the two walk to the dining hall, Jason ignoring the pounding in his heart from this encounter.

Upon arrival, the two see a few at the table. Jason did his best to recall every name. Thankfully, they were… well, _unique,_ to say the least. Mammon sat next to Tyz, and they seemed to be chattering away about something. Beelzebub was tucking into what appeared to be, one, two, three, four, probably his _fifth_ helping of breakfast, by counting the amount of licked-clean plates stacked up next to his arm. Lucifer was at the head of the table, hands folded. He looked like he had already finished breakfast and was waiting for the desirous duo, and he locked eyes with the two as they stepped further in.

“Asmodeus. Jason. I was afraid you two wouldn’t arrive.” He smiles, something very small and probably not genuine, motioning to the long table out by the side, with some foods left on it for them.

“Apologies, sir.” Jason can’t help but be polite. He feels like he’s under some obligation to treat Lucifer with respect, even though he’s technically a student, too. “I was having trouble with my uniform.”

“Is that so?” Lucifer nods, putting a finger to his chin in thought. “I see. You’re not wearing the school-issued jacket.”

“Well, sir, you might not be able to tell from where you’re sitting…” Jason stretches out his arms. “But I am short. Or vertically challenged, as one might say.” Tyz cracks up next to Mammon, who doesn’t find it all that funny.

“And I thought we got the measurements right…” Lucifer frowns.

“Pardon?”

“Nothing. Help yourself to breakfast, will you? I noticed you didn’t eat anything at dinner yesterday, you must be starving.” He gestures yet again to the spread on the cloth-covered tables.

“Come on, sweet. We’ve got to go get something before Beel decides he wants sixths.” Asmodeus lightly nudges Jason, leading him along to the table.

The pickings have thinned out, it seems, but there’s still enough food on the tables for the demon and the human. Everything is strangely colored, smells weird, and is making Jason’s stomach rumble with delight. He clutches his midsection. How embarrassing it is to have bodily functions. He scours the table, looking for something that seems at least vaguely similar to human food. No dice. Okay. He lowers his expectations before scanning again.

“If you want my suggestion…” Asmodeus tilts over to Jason before he interjects.

“I don’t want your suggestion if you’re gonna be one of those guys who suggests some low-carb crap because I could “stand to lose a few pounds” or whatever.” Jason furrows his brows up at Asmodeus.

“My.” The demon puts a hand to his chest. “Forward, aren’t we? I kept an eye on what Tyzzy liked when they first came here, so try…” Asmodeus points to a large, translucent, blue loaf of _God knows what,_ “the cerulean toad loaf. It’s especially good with a helping of flameipede jelly. Makes it a little…” Asmodeus throws up jazz hands. “Spicy!”

“I’m not that good with spicy,” Jason says, sickened at the idea that he’s probably gonna break down and eat something that had eight legs and twelve eyes.

“Mushroom jam, then. It’s sweeter.” Asmodeus grabs a jar of thick, brown paste, holding it out to Jason. “Like you!”

“Compliments aren’t part of my diet,” Jason groans, cutting off a thin portion of the aforementioned toad loaf and putting it on a plate for himself, along with a small stripe of the mushroom jam, spread on top of the slice. Oh, it looked delightfully disgusting. Like someone’s Halloween night dessert. For a party of fifth graders. This was going to be a rough morning, but it would probably end up worse if he passed out in the middle of class from low blood sugar. It’s do or die in Hell. He sat at the table, the same seat he was in last night, next to Beelzebub, and soon to be between him and Asmodeus. Again.

Beelzebub was chewing away at his plate with a fervor Jason had never seen before, not even from himself, someone that his mom liked to proclaim as _bottomless pit for a stomach._ What a worthless title that might as well be _mister malnourished_ now, because Jason kept staring and staring at the thin slice of cerulean toad loaf, afraid that if he looked away, it would grow eyes and stare right back. Before Jason could make an executive decision much like Hamlet, to eat or not to eat, a horrifying _crunch_ happened. And then, _munch, munch, munch,_ like it didn’t happen at all.

He looked up. Beelzebub had bitten into the plate, crumbs of ceramic falling on his lap like snow, but he was still chewing.

“Um, ‘scuze me.” Jason taps his shoulder. His purple eyes peer down at Jason.

“Mmph?” He hums through muffled cheeks.

“I think you may have bitten into that plate. And I don’t know if that’s like, a demon thing, but you might just want to… know.” Jason sweats, hoping he didn’t offend the extremely large demon.

“...Oops.” Beelzebub pulls the plate away from his face, noticing that it’s now broken in half from the force of his jaw. “Thanks for letting me know.”

“No biggie.” Jason turns back to his plate.

“Jason?” Tyz looks over at him, watching his internal panic pour to his outside. “It’s not going to bite. Just eat it.”

“Are you sure? Because I’m pretty sure those are teeth in there.” Jason looks deeper into the slice. Those little white dollops could be anything.

“Just pretend it’s some food from home. I swear it’s not as bad as it looks.” Tyz sighs at him.

“I was on cooking duty this morning, too, so it’s _extra_ good,” Mammon pokes his thumb at his chest. “So take a bite already, human.”

“Mammon! Come on. At least call my friend by his name?” Tyz looks up at him, and he sheepishly grins. Jason tunes out their conversation as he shakily raises a fork to the slice, pressing into it.

The slice has some give. It’s a bit of a gelatinous feel, almost like jello. He uses the fork to splice off a small square, pressing it around his plate. In its wake, it leaves a trail of blue slime. Gross. Jason stabs into it with his fork, half expecting it to scream. It does not, thankfully. He pulls the fork up to his mouth, and…

“Ooh, the big moment!” Jason flinches at Asmodeus’s sudden vocal intrusion, dropping his fork down on the plate with a clatter.

“Don’t sneak up on me!” Jason looks over at him.

“I _so_ did not sneak up on you,” Asmodeus pouts. “I’ve been sitting here for a little bit, just watching you hype yourself up to eat.” He picks up Jason’s fork. “Maybe it’d be better if I fed it to you?” He tilts his head sweetly.

“I don’t need someone to feed me,” Jason snatches back the fork. “I’m capable.”

“Okay, Mr. Independent. Go ahead.” Asmodeus smiles.

Jason takes a deep breath, deciding it’s now or never. He shoves the cube into his mouth.

It’s not that bad. It tastes faintly of berries. And boy, is Jason _jazzed_ to realize that the food isn’t bad, and he can eat it, and that hopefully he won’t die suddenly of his stomach swelling like a balloon and bursting later on in the day. He turns back to his plate, hunger reinvigorated within him.

“Are you gonna--” Beelzebub tries to pawn the small bit of food off of Jason, but before he can finish, Jason’s already scooping up the rest of what he got, eating it quickly. “Wow,” was all Beelzebub could say.

“I feel better,” Jason smiles. Doing anything on an empty stomach usually resulted in Jason being miserable and grumpy.

“Aw, so proud of you!” Asmodeus cheers quietly.

“Wahoo,” Tyz says with a smile. “Now we can go to class together.”

“Oh, God, class!” Jason’s expression changes immediately. “I don’t wanna be late!”

“Then come on!” Tyz gets up with Mammon in tow. Asmodeus gets up as well, and Beelzebub must have decided he had enough for one morning, as he gets up, too, pushing in his chair. The five parade out the hall, Jason sticking close to Tyz, but just _slightly_ closer to Asmodeus.

* * *

The five walk around on campus. Jason notices how nice the courtyards are, and how beautiful the gothic architecture is, but can’t shake the feeling that something is off. He suddenly realizes what it is as he looks up at the sky--it’s utterly dark, like an eternal night. There’s a large celestial body in the sky. He assumed this to be the Devildom’s version of the moon.

“Is there no day here?” Jason poses the question as awkwardly as possible on accident.

“No day,” Tyz immediately understands what he’s asking. “No sun, either.”

“Wow,” Jason marvels at the sky, almost black in its infiniteness. He felt small.

“But we still adhere to a certain sort of schedule,” Asmodeus helps to elaborate. “This is the brighter part of the day, so this is our daytime. Our nighttime is actually darker than this.”

Jason noticed the abundance of streetlamps and other hanging lights that adorned the campus and surrounding streets. “I see.”

Soon they arrive inside, and Jason gets to marvel more at the architecture, before realizing the place is absolutely crawling with demons. He steps back, inching closer to his friends, mostly to Tyz, but a touch more to Asmodeus. Reality has checked in, and it’s staying in Hotel Jason for the next five hundred years.

“That’s…” He mutters. “That’s a lot of demons.”

“Well, yeah. We’re in the Devildom. It’s like you keep forgetting.” Tyz raps their knuckles on Jason’s head. “Earth to Jason. We’re in the Devildom. There’s demons everywhere.”

“So my class is gonna be full of demons, too.” Jason frowns.

“Yeah.” Tyz smiles. “Don’t worry. Most of them are pretty nice. And there’s strict orders to not eat any exchange students.”

“The fact that it had to be ordered doesn’t really put me at ease,” Jason shakes his head, watching Beelzebub and Mammon part to their own classrooms. He was suddenly left with only Tyz and Asmodeus.

“You’ve handled worse, I’m sure!” Tyz hugs Jason from the side.

“Just because anxiety feels like I’m in a room full of demons doesn’t mean that it actually happened,” he groans.

“I’m right here…” Asmodeus whines.

“Sorry!” Jason turns back to him. “I’m just… getting used to all this, is all.”

“Good thing there’s going to be plenty of time to get used to it…” Asmodeus grins, “since we’ll be in the same class.”

“Oh, Lord.” Jason looks at his course sheet, noticing the numbers on the page match up with the door they’ve just arrived at.

Tyz pats his shoulder. “It’s time for me to go,” they say, turning back down the hallway.

“Tyz!” Jason shouts back to them. “Don’t leave me!”

“I’ll see you at lunch!” They shout back, before disappearing into a crowd of demons, never to be seen again.

“Don’t look so distraught,” Asmodeus coos. “You’ve got me!”

“I’m not sure if that makes it better or worse,” Jason shakes his head. The two open the door and walk in.

Jason is taken aback by the sight. The classroom isn’t full, but it feels full, with all the demons. There’s so _many,_ just an absurdly large amount of demons populating one place all at once. Demons of all shapes, sizes, and colors. Some with horns, some without. Tails whipped in the aisles between the desks, the stoney colored desks that probably had crude carvings made in them. Asmodeus taps Jason on the small of his back, making him jump about a foot in the air.

“Don’t-touch-my-back,” Jason quickly says, rubbing the assaulted spot.

“Sorry, honey,” Asmodeus looks down with genuine worry. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“Just got… scared.” Jason shivered. “Okay. Okay. I can do this.”

“You can do this!”

“I can walk in the classroom.”

“You can walk in the classroom!”

The mental hyping brings Jason to step foot into the classroom. And unlike many a manga he read, all the demons did _not_ turn their heads to look at the funky new student. If anything, they were too preoccupied with their own dealings to notice anything off. Jason picked a seat up near the front of the room, so he could see. Asmodeus carefully slipped into the chair next to him.

“You’re my brave knight,” Asmodeus swoons for him.

“I-I’m nobody’s knight,” Jason flushes a bit, but turns so Asmodeus doesn’t see. “I’m just a man.”

“A handsome man.” Asmodeus crosses his legs, humming to himself, and he pulls out a magazine to read before class starts. Jason sits and twiddles his thumbs, bouncing his leg with anxiety. Before he can even try to mentally space out, he hears the familiar sound of dress shoes across the floor. He looks up, and meets eyes with someone. Someone… well, they looked _human,_ they looked like an actual, honest-to-God human.

“Are you the new exchange student?” The assumed-human tilts their head at Jason, white locks bouncing to the side.

“If I am?” Jason replies, unsure how to respond.

“If you are…” They reach out a hand for Jason to shake, “then welcome to the Devildom. It’s a far cry from the overworld, isn’t it?”

“Is that what we’re calling Earth down here?” Jason takes their hand, shaking it.

“It’s a bit difficult to explain exactly where we are in correlation with Earth, but it’s technically above us. Very, _very_ far above us.” They shake back. “I’m Solomon.”

“Solomon. That’s a pretty name.” Jason smiles.

Solomon laughs lightly. “Thank you.”

“The name of a king.” Jason vaguely recalls the story from the Bible. “Your parents must be hardcore religious nuts.”

“I picked it myself, actually,” Solomon winks at Jason.

“Oh!” Jason laughs a bit, too. “I’m Jason. I picked my name myself, too.”

“It seems we’re going to get along pretty well.” Solomon tilts his head, bowing slightly. “Well. I’ll leave you to it, now.” He turns and goes back to his seat. Jason looks over, and Asmodeus is still engrossed in his magazine. Things feel a bit more comfortable. Maybe being around demons wasn’t so bad.

The teacher arrived in the classroom shortly after the bell rang, and most conversations quieted down as class began. It felt like a regular class, in the human world. It was just as boring as one, too. Jason took his time to make notes from the loopy almost-English language that was up on the board. This seemed to be some sort of linguistics class that he was in. He hoped that grammar didn’t differ much in the Devildom. If it didn’t, this class would be an easy out. English was his top subject in high school.

Soon there came a point in the class where the front facing tables turned to the tables behind them, effectively making groups of fours. The chairs in front of Jason and Asmodeus turned to reveal two humanoid looking persons--wait, not human. Yes, there was definitely something off, but not off in the way that the demons were. Their eyes were piercing and seemed to give off their own glow, with golden circles surrounding the pupil. One of these persons had brown skin, a sharp contrast with their pitch black top and white arm-cape, which billowed under him. The other person had white skin, and was quite small for what Jason assumed was the equivalent of a university. In fact, they looked more like a child than anything. They had an entirely white outfit, with billowing shorts and a starlight stole. On top of all that, a gold-striped beret. Their looks were so captivating, Jason would have called them a modern interpretation of what an angel is.

“Greetings,” said the first one. “You’re the new student, aren’t you?”

“I am,” Jason nods. “Sorry for asking, but you don’t look much like a devil. Neither does your friend.” He motions to the short person.

“Oh, Jason! They’re _angels,_ can’t you tell?” Asmodeus leans over the desk towards Jason.

“Oh, my God.” Jason’s expression pales. He feels like he shouldn’t be in the presence of beings so… powerful, especially ones highly regarded in the faith he follows. He bows his head. “I’m honored.”

“Oh, my. Look back up, human.” Jason complies, meeting eyes with the first one. “I’m Simeon. It’s really the honor to be meeting you.” Simeon holds out a hand to Jason, which he nervously takes. Though Simeon’s hand is gloved, it’s warm, it feels like laying in the spring sun and smelling the passing pollen and grass on the wind, all in one handshake. “And this is my friend, Luke.”

“Hi there,” Luke smiles. “I’m glad to see you’re alright! I heard another human exchange student was coming, and I was scared you were demon food!”

“Maybe not yet,” Jason jokes. Luke frowns, looking like he’s about to tear up. “I was kidding. I can keep an eye on myself, okay?”

“Okay,” Luke smiles again.

“You seem confident,” Simeon folds his hands. “Are you adjusting well?”

“I just got here yesterday, so… all things considered, I suppose so.” Jason gets a closer look at Simeon. As he looks, he notices that some of his hair, most especially the small bit of hair running down the sides of his face, is actually downy feathers. When he looks over to Luke, it’s the same thing, only in blond this time.

“Don’t worry your cute little head, puppy, I would _never, ever_ lay a harming hand on Jason,” Asmodeus leans closer to Jason, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. Though an unexpected move, Jason lets it happen, enjoying the warmth. This warmth was different. It felt more like a burning ember than a summer breeze.

“Hmmph,” Luke pouts, obviously angry at Asmodeus’s folly.

“I’m stronger than I look, kid,” Jason smiles. “Don’t worry.”

“Mm,” Luke’s pout lessens, but he’s still upset looking.

“Luke’s not all that fond of demons,” Simeon says.

“Simeon, they’re good-for-nothing sinners!” Luke shakes his fists. “Of _course_ I don’t like them!”

“Sinners.” Jason bounces his leg a little more. Asmodeus is still leaning up on him.

“Ya-huh,” Luke bounces his head in agreement.

“As much as I like this banter between angels and demons and humans,” Asmodeus presses his head into Jason’s, like a cat, “I think there’s an assignment for us to be doing.”

The four set aside any hidden prejudices they had for each other to finish the assignment. Most eyes remained on Jason as a unique creature, not of celestial or demonic descent; instead just a creature from the surface of Earth, living life in such a short blink of an eye that to demons and angels alike it may as well have been insignificant as an ant.

Class soon finished up. Demons began departing, picking up their school bags and pushing to get out of the classroom. It reminded Jason of high school. Maybe things weren’t so different here in Hell--no, the Devildom--after all. Asmodeus walked out first, waving to Jason, saying he’d meet him out in the hallway once he was ready. Solomon waved gently to Jason as he walked out as well. Simeon motioned for Luke to follow him out the door, and started walking. Luke stayed, looking up at Jason.

“Jason,” his eyes are cold and serious. “Don’t trust demons. Don’t let them get close to you. None of them can be trusted. They’re all the same malicious little creatures.”

“I don’t have much of a choice,” Jason replies, “but I’ll keep an eye out.”

“Okay.” Luke nods, hearing his name called by Simeon, and waves a short goodbye to Jason before exiting.

The rest of the day continues as regular. Or, as regular as a school day could be, for a human exchange student in a school full of demons, a school that resided in Hell, a human that was being constantly flanked by one sexy and particularly raunchy brother demon who was part of the school’s counsel or something like that. Yes, it was about as normal as it could be. Jason didn’t even gag at lunch. He was too hungry to care, and though he hated to admit it, Asmodeus’s little doe eyes would have made him jump off a bridge if he asked nicely enough. In fact, Asmodeus’s kindness and closeness felt so foreign to him, because nobody had ever hung around with him so much. He couldn’t tell if this was just a facet of the Avatar of Lust, or if Asmodeus was just being kind to make a good impression on Lucifer. No matter what it was, it was appreciated, and despite their rocky start, Jason felt like he could rely on the demon for help.

After school came dinnertime. This time, when Jason and Asmodeus arrived, they were some of the first there, besides Lucifer, who appeared to always be there on the hour. Tyz caught up behind them, somehow.

“Jason! Hey, how was your first day?” Tyz pats him on the shoulder and approaches his front.

“It was a lot,” Jason replies, “but I made it through.” He smiles lightly.

“Come on. Let’s sit together.” Tyz beckons him to the servings table, where they gather up plenty of strange-looking things to eat. Jason copies what they grab, still unsure of what exactly tastes good and what doesn’t to him.

“I wanna sit next to Jason,” Asmodeus whines. He follows behind the two humans, quickly grabbing a plate and seating himself next to Jason. Now he had Tyz on his right and Asmodeus on his left.

“You know, I would have thought you’d be sitting next to Mammon.” Jason looks at Tyz, who’s already begun eating.

“Mm, yeah, well. Sometimes I gotta sit next to the bestie.” Tyz talks between bites.

“Aw. I missed you, baby.” Jason gives Tyz a small side-hug.

“My, are you two an item?” Asmodeus leans over and watches the display.

“No,” they reply in unison. “Just good friends.”

Asmodeus grins. “It’d be no problem if you were…”

“He hasn’t been giving you trouble, has he?” Tyz ignores the prodding of Asmodeus.

“Trouble?” Jason pokes around his plate, looking for something palatable.

“You know.” Tyz rolls their eyes.

“Hey!” Asmodeus continues to eavesdrop.

“I mean, besides sneaking into my room? No.” Jason didn’t feel any discomfort, frankly expecting more harassment from the Avatar of Lust.

“Good. Tell me if he does.” Tyz smirks. “Or go along with it. I know how you are.”

“H-hey!” Jason flushes. “Listen--”

“Ooh, Jason! Is it true? Are you dirty?” Asmodeus butts in again.

“Still not a part of this conversation,” Tyz frowns at Asmodeus.

“Hmph. Then go have it somewhere else,” he huffs.

“See? I told you it wasn’t that bad here. Aren’t you glad you came?” Tyz turns back to Jason.

“No,” Jason blurts out.

“Dude. What?”

“Nope! I’m anxious off the fucking walls, man. I’m barely concealing it.” It was true. Jason felt sick to his stomach all day, even after eating, which usually helped.

“It gets better,” Tyz rubs his shoulder to comfort him. Jason smiles.

“I trust you,” he replies.

“Okay, my turn.” Asmodeus leans in, wrapping his arms around Jason’s chest loosely. “I promise nothing bad’s gonna happen to you, sweetie. Don’t you cry.”

“H-hey?!” Jason wriggles. “I wasn’t gonna cry! Augh, offa me!” For once, the touch felt too much, too scary, especially after Luke’s words.

“No fighting at the table,” Lucifer’s voice carries over to the three as he frowns. The three stop bickering immediately. Tyz leans over to whisper to Jason.

“One piece of advice. I would keep an eye on him. Asmodeus can be a little feisty.” Tyz pats him on the shoulder again.

Jason looks around the table, watching the seats fill up with other demons. It’s probably not only him who could get feisty. Their eyes, though not directly on him, felt like they were boring holes in his skin, in his flesh, deep to the bone. This wasn’t going to be living; this was going to be survival.

Dinner goes by in a haze, and Jason returns to his room on his own. There’s a comforting weight to the air inside of it. He feels a bit safer when he shuts the door and locks it. The room is empty. It’s just him in there. A shower sounds nice. To get off the grease and grime from breathing Hell’s air all day. The air he will be breathing until he returns home… _if I ever do, that is,_ he wonders, questioning if he’s going to be chained here, whether physically or mentally, and unable to escape. Only time would tell. Survival.

The water pounds hot on his back. He misses singing. Jason wasn’t signed up for _any_ sort of music program here in the Devildom, and he’s missing that piece of joy and light in his life. Of course, what came to mind was none other than a composition about not letting the Devil tempt you. Jason held off on singing.

Once he was clean and put into pajamas, Jason retired to bed. Early. It was early, because he knew most students in a university probably wouldn’t be in bed by 9, much less all cleaned and ready to fall asleep as soon as they put down their phone and closed their eyes. His D.D.D. lit up with a notification.

**Hey**

It was Tyz.

**Are u awake or not?**

**Unfortunately yes**

**What’s up**

**Old man LOL**

**Anyways**

**Can i talk to you about something**

**Depends but usually i’m game**

**Talk 2 me**

**Okay**

**Well**

**Last night i tried something**

**Like weed?**

**Demon weed?**

**Demon crack cocaine**

**Be serious**

**There’s this one curvy stairwell near Luci’s**

**room**

**You do NOT seriously call him luci**

**Do you**

**Oh my god. Dude 😶**

**Sigh**

**Anyways**

**I was curious as to what’s in there cuz**

**You know. Demon school. Could be**

**a cool thing or two. Or not. So I’m going**

**up the stairs and i get fuckin stopped**

**by Luci. And he’s looking scary as hell**

**Tbh he kinda always looks scary**

**But continue**

**He tells me**

**Don’t ever go up those stairs.**

**You don’t want to know what’s up**

**there, and you don’t need to know**

**what’s up there.**

**And i’m like dude wtf?**

**Maybe just don’t go up the stairs**

**LOL‼️‼️**

**Simple solution**

**I didn’t plan on it**

**I don’t wanna disobey him yknow**

**He’s actually nice once you get to**

**know him i promise**

**Are u sure about that**

**😢😢**

**Cuz if looks could kill**

**I’d be a cold closed murder case**

**Speaking of cold closed murder cases**

**?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?**

**BITCH WHAT**

**Sorry for what’s about to happen**

**He literally wouldn't stop bugging me**

**And you seem to like him more anyways**

**So**

**😏**

**GET THE FUCK BACK HERE**

**I’M GONNA KILL YOU 😡**

**YOU’RE IN FOR IT THIS TIME**

**YOU PROBABLY WANNA FUCK DEMONS**

**TOO SO DON’T THINK YOU’RE**

**EXEMPT JUST CUZ YOU’RE NOT**

**LUSTING FOR LUST**

**WHAT IS IT ABOUT MAMMON EH**

**HE’S A DICK**

**You don’t get it anyways**

**Enjoy your time with Asmo**

**END**

Jason tosses down his phone. Time with Asmodeus sounded like pure torture. Not that he _disliked_ Asmodeus, per se, just that Asmodeus was a drug better handled in microdoses. He half expected to hear him jingling into his room, in tight-fitting pajamas, flopping down on his bed to gossip about whatever stupid things demons like him would gossip about, but to no avail. His phone lit up again.

****   
  


**Wait there’s stickers??**

**Oh shit**

****

**I like this little guy he’s cute**

**Oh man asmodeus i didn’t realize**

**it was you texting me**

**Hello .**

**Hiii, cutie!**

**How’s my favorite little human doing?**

**❤️**

**I’m doing alright**

**So i guess tyz gave you my number**

**Mm. This calls for revenge. But.**

**I’ll do that later m too tired now**

**Do you seriously go to bed this early?**

**Not even staying up a little bit?**

**You’re a little basic.**

**Somebody needs to spice up your life.**

**❤️**

**Ok then dickwad imagine that**

**you’re slapped into a world full of beings**

**that are mad different from you and also**

**one keeps following you around like**

**a horny mongrel and all you wanna do**

**is go home because frankly this is NOT**

**what you signed up for when your bestie**

**said there was a cool academy with free**

**enrollment for exchange students and**

**bonus, cute boys.**

**I got BAMBOOZLED and now i am**

**suffering the consequences .**

**So yes i am tired**

**And i am going to bed early**

**Sorry. I didn’t mean to be so rude to you**

**It’s okay… I forgive you. 💔**

**But don’t be like that to my brothers,**

**they might not be so nice…**

**You’re lenient with me**

**I kinda expected worse from demons**

**Precisely why you shouldn’t make**

**assumptions, my dear. Because you know**

**what they say about assumptions.**

**They make an Ass out of U and Me**

**Yeah**

**Anyways do u need something?**

**No… I just wanted to talk to you!**

**Is that not enough of a reason to text?**

**It’s cool but man am i tired**

**Real tired**

**Like eyes almost closing tired**

**Maybe I should come over there and**

**cuddle in bed with you…**

**Just know that I sleep au naturel.**

**You know what that means, right?**

**Au naturel being a bastardization**

**of french telling me that you sleep**

**with your john out yeah no**

**not fuckin happening**

**Even if you were clothed you’re**

**not staying in my room for the night**

**Ever**

**EVER ever.**

  
****

**END**

Jason throws down his phone, again, this time keeping it face-down so he doesn’t have to see any notifications. He instead pulls out the leatherbound book from when he first arrived, opening it to the first page out of curiosity. He expected it to proclaim “HOLY BIBLE” on the inside, but instead, the first page was blank. A filler. Once flipped, there appeared to be some sort of directory, but it wasn’t in English. Nor was it in the loopy language he saw up on the board during class and vaguely understood. It wasn’t in Latin, a language he at least partially understood, or in Ancient Greek, a language he at least knew by sight. If anything, it felt like the runes on the page were moving and shifting on their own, forming and reforming in different shapes and patterns. He flipped to other pages, which did the exact same thing. He closed the book and put it on his side table. Maybe he was too tired to focus on words. Jason closed his eyes and curled into a small ball in bed.

A faint whispering came through his ears. This time, he could make out the words just before he succumbed to sleep.

_Help me… someone… please._

An hour later, Jason snaps awake from hearing a loud crash just outside his door.

“What the Hell,” he mumbles, crawling out of bed. He turns on the bedside lamp, letting his eyes adjust to the light. There’s no flashlight in the top drawer, unfortunately, but there are matches and candles--the tall kind, to be placed in a candlestick. He takes one out, along with a match, lighting it, watching the flame curl up in a deep red hue. He shuts off the light, letting the candle be the one source in his room before stepping out into the hallway. The sound definitely came from Tyz’s room. He opens the door to a horrifying sight.

The room’s back wall is completely wrecked. A hole has been torn in it. Rubble lies everywhere, on the bed, on the floor, making a mess. The wall must have been neighbor to what Jason assumed was a kitchen, from the pots and pans hanging on the wall. The room was aglow with a flame in the hearth, a hearty pot on top of it. In front of it, a large creature.

“Oh.”

The creature was hunched over Tyz and Mammon, who were cowering in each other, looking up in horror as it bared its teeth from its grand jaw--it probably had hundreds of teeth, layered behind each other, like a shark. Two horns curled around his face, and two more protruded from his cheeks, like tusks. On his back were wings, sectioned and split off, much like an insect’s. Upon closer inspection, on his rear, a small, spiked tail jutted out from the end of his spine.

“My.”

The creature roared at Tyz and Mammon, who could only gape at the beast’s imposing presence. The rest of the kitchen appeared to be in ruins, too, with a broken table, chairs strewn about, and worst of all, the fridge was tipped on its side, spilling all kinds of demon food from it.

“God.”

Jason’s hand shook with tremors like none other. The candle slipped from its candlestick, falling to the ground, flame thankfully extinguishing before it could cause burn damage to the already ruined bedroom. He froze in place, body cemented in time, only able to watch in horror as his best friend looked ready to die at the hands of the creature. The creature that… bore a striking resemblance to a demon Jason knew. One that he was sitting at dinner with not too many hours ago. The orange hair, the purple eyes, the… _horns on the cheeks, growing out like tusks._ There was no doubt about it.

“Tyz!”

That was Beelzebub.

“I’m gonna get help!”

The true nature of demons seemed to come to light, all in the span of a few seconds.

 _Dear God,_ Jason sent up a silent prayer as he peeled out of the room, _make me a bird, so I can fly far; far, far away._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AUGH, i hope u like it <3 ps tyz if ur reading this i love you and thanks for letting me use your likeness!


	2. Eight Steps in a Key

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It is best, as I think and understand, for you to follow me, and I will be your guide, and lead you from here through an eternal space where you will hear the desperate shouts, will see the ancient spirits in pain, so that each one cries out for a second death: and then you will see others at peace in the flames, because they hope to come, whenever it may be, among the blessed."
> 
> Jason learns more about life in the Devildom. Tyz tries to keep their best friend afloat in tumultuous waters.

Hallways curled into each other and time became nothing more than a concept as Jason ran, out of breath, looking for the one called Lucifer. Lucifer, who he had met earlier. He remembered his intense ruby glare, his raven hair, everything about him that surely screamed demonic, but he was the only person Jason could think of going to. He didn’t know any other demons very well, besides Asmodeus, and it’d be a touch difficult to explain this situation to him. Especially without getting tied up in some sort of bedtime routine with the Avatar of Lust. No matter. The point was to find Lucifer, and find Lucifer fast, before his best friend of quite a while became a midnight snack.

“Lucifer!” Jason’s voice echoed through the hallway, his empty footsteps following with a quiet patter. “Lucifer!”

One thing Jason prided himself in was his voice. It was loud, it was imposing, just like his mother’s. He learned how to breathe correctly and speak correctly and sing with couth in vocal classes; those lessons enabled him to squeal like a hog when necessary.

“LUCIFER!” He called out a third time, arriving in the entrance hallway. The draconic gargoyles stared down at him with stony looks of contempt, room aglow with an eerie purple hue from magically darkened flames in candelabras hanging upon the wall. It was a different look from the “daytime”, perhaps made to signify when it was time to retire to one’s room.

Dress shoes clicked on the marble staircase shortly after. Jason looked up. It was that piercing state, boring into his soul, yet again, like it had before. Lucifer had arrived.

“Lucifer,” he pants out breathlessly, dashing to the bottom of the staircase. “The kitchen! Big, huge monster! Please, man, you gotta help! Tyz, they’re in there--”

Lucifer holds up a gloved hand, continuing his walk down the stairs. Jason barely noticed that he had a cup of tea in his other hand. “I heard the racket. I feared it was another midnight raid by my gluttonous brother.”

“Come on, we gotta go!” Jason almost reaches out to grip his cape, but stops himself just short of the fabric, not wanting to encite wrath from him. There must have been a good reason he held the title of Lucifer, the one who fell from grace.

“Slow down, human.” He makes it to the bottom of the staircase, cupping the tea in his hand. “Now, my brother may look frightening, but I highly doubt he’d lay harm to your other human friend.”

Right after Lucifer speaks, a metallic crash comes from the kitchen, accented by a growling. Something inhuman, something not even of the human realm--it was like a lion’s roar echoing through the deepest of caves.

“That might be cause for concern,” Lucifer’s expression twinges downward a touch.

“You think?!” Jason squeals. “Listen, I don’t know what you think about Tyz, but they’re _my_ best friend, and I’m not letting them _die_ here just ‘cause you won’t get off your sorry ass and _do something!”_ The negative thoughts on the Avatar of Pride come spilling out. Jason turns heel and dashes back into the hallway without waiting to hear Lucifer’s reply. He follows the sound of the growling with feather-sensitive ears, from years of training to hear the smallest slips of music.

He comes to the main entrance of the kitchen and peers around the corner at the chaotic scene. Yes, the monster--or, Beelzebub--is still standing over Tyz and Mammon, growling with terrible timbre, his insectoid wings buzzing behind him with a mad intensity, like a swarm of a thousand flies all contained in one beastly body. Beelzebub’s hands were large and clawed, and on the palms, he appeared to have mouths, full of more sharp teeth and also snarling at the two. Jason shivers in fear. He’s paralyzed, despite his friend being in mortal danger, he cannot seem to gather up the confidence to move. He hears the sound of dress shoes click again. It seems to echo over the intense growling, and the demonic noises come to a quick halt. Beelzebub’s head twists, teeth and glowing eyes in full frontal view. Tyz and Mammon turn, too. Lucifer has arrived.

“Beelzebub,” his voice is intense, the kind of voice your parent would use when you got in trouble in front of people and they couldn’t verbally berate you right there. “Calm down. _Now.”_

Beelzebub’s mouth flounders shut, despite his brows still furrowing in rage. His fists close, the charcoal-like substance that originally covered it dissipating in little squares that shed off his skin. His body shrinks, back to his normal size. His wings fold in and shrink into their sheaths. The final things to disappear are his horns, in which the ones on his head fully disappear back into his skull, and the ones on his cheeks shrink to their normal size. With a flick of a spiked tongue across his lips, the fangs that once hung out menacingly disappear. The tension in the room is thick enough to cut with a knife, if all the knives hadn’t unceremoniously clattered to the floor during the previous dispute.

“Jason,” Tyz mouths over to him. Jason steps into full view, in the shadow of Lucifer.

“All four of you,” Lucifer places a hand over his heart, “to my room. Immediately.” He turns, pacing back down the hall, assumedly to his room.

Beelzebub is silent as he walks out first, casting a seething glare to Jason, who is taken aback by it. Tyz catches up to Jason next, tailed by Mammon, who looks shaken up by the whole ordeal.

“Tyz!” Jason wraps them in a quick, tight hug. “Are you okay?! You’re not hurt, are you?”

“I’m fine,” Tyz pats his head. “And Mammon is okay, too.”

“Whadd’ya talkin’ about, I’m totally traumatized from that whole ordeal!” Mammon shouts and shoots his hands into the air.

“You’ll live,” Tyz smirks. “Come on. If we’re not quick to Lucifer’s room, he’ll give us a worse punishment.”

“Punishment?!” Jason grimaces. He remembers punishment from the hands of his parents, a long time ago, when he was no older than seven or eight. Spanking. A demon’s hand was not going _anywhere_ near his ass, under any circumstance. He follows Tyz, with Mammon right behind the two, closer to Tyz, of course.

“Just listen to him and you’ll be fine!” Tyz pats him on the shoulder. “Luci goes a bit easier on humans, anyways.”

“This implies you’ve been under his scrutiny before,” Jason shakes his head.

“Maybe,” Tyz flatly replies.

The three arrive in Lucifer’s room, and Jason watches the intricate ritual that involves the eldest demon brother chewing out his younger siblings. How the brotherhood stuff even worked, Jason couldn’t parse, because the brothers looked _nothing_ alike. Sure, there were plenty of real-world parallels to be drawn, with parents having kids that vary in their looks--Jason and his sister were a prime example, between brown/brown and blonde/blue--but who knows, maybe it was different for demons. He snapped back to the conversation, watching it go down.

“I made sure to write my name on it, and you **still** ate it,” Beelzebub growled low.

“Eh?” Mammon grumbles right back. “You wrote your name on it?”

“Oh yes.” Beelzebub shoots a glare. “It said _Property of Beelzebub. You eat it,_ **_you die._ ** _”_ The air seemed to rumble.

“Oh… huh…” Mammon taps a finger to his chin. “I never noticed.”

“Mammon, cut it out.” Tyz elbows him in the ribs. “I ate your custard, Beel. I’m sorry.”

“At least you’re willing to admit to the crime, Tyz.” Beelzebub’s eyebrows furrow. “Unlike someone else I know.”

“Let me get this straight.” Lucifer holds up a hand to the three. “Mammon was hungry, so he went rummaging for food in the kitchen late at night, and he dragged Tyz along with him. That’s when he found Beel’s custard.” Lucifer sighs. “Then, he talked Tyz into eating the custard. And when Beel saw what had happened, he was so angry that he lost control of himself and went on a rampage.”

Jason looks away from Lucifer, feeling a sense of shame, despite not being involved.

“The kitchen ended up getting **destroyed,** along with Tyz’s room, which was on the opposite side of the wall from it.” Lucifer’s glare was so strong, it sent waves of heat through the room. “All because of _your little prank.”_

“...Well, I guess that pretty much sums it up, yeah?” Mammon smirks.

“Not something to be proud of,” Tyz groans.

“My custard…” Beelzebub sniffles.

“Now listen up, and listen well.” Lucifer starts again. “You three--”

“Ugh… I can tell this is gonna take forever,” Mammon interjects.

“It’s not fair. **I’m** the victim here.” Beelzebub folds his arms.

“Did you two just say something?” Lucifer gazed over at the two. Jason was right--he was just like a parent, scolding their children. The kind of words that said, _you better not have said anything, and if you did, I’m giving you a second chance to rectify your mistake._

“...Nuthin,” Mammon mumbles.

Jason listened partially to the scolding, feeling as if he were the one who solely committed the crime. It must have been three hours they were standing there listening to Lucifer. It probably wasn’t, but it felt like that to the three accused and one tagalong.

“Now that we’ve got that straight,” everyone’s heads snap back up at Lucifer’s summary, “I expect each of you to learn something from all this.”

“Wow…” Mammon whines. “That took forever.”

“I’m hungry…” Beelzebub’s stomach rumbles like a drum on stage.

“Tyz, it seems you won’t be able to use your room for some time. You know, since it lacks a wall now.” Lucifer looks over to Tyz, who folds their hands behind their back.

“Tyz could stay with me,” Jason speaks up for the first time that evening since they arrived in his room.

“Oh, don’t worry. I have a solution.” Lucifer returns to a normal expression. “I want you to stay in **Beel’s** room, Tyz.”

“...Alright,” Tyz agrees.

“Jeez,” Jason murmurs under his breath.

“Now just a second!” Mammon objects. “Why’re ya puttin’ Tyz in **his** room?! I mean, there’s enough space in **my** room, isn’t there?!”

“Mammon, it’s fine. I can go to your room any time.” Tyz giggles quietly.

“This is a trivial matter, Mammon,” Lucifer smirks. “Don’t get jealous over it. It shows immaturity.”

“Wh-wh-who’re you callin’ _jealous?!_ As if I’d be _jealous…_ pff!” Mammon scoffs, obviously jealous. “Anyway, Tyz has a pact with **me!”**

“Your pact is irrelevant.” Lucifer immediately shuts down Mammon’s squabbling. “Also, if I’m not mistaken, there’s an extra bed in Beel’s room.”

“Gr…” Mammon grumbles.

“Not like I would care about sharing a bed with Mammon,” Tyz whispers, bouncing absentmindedly on their heels.

“Do you understand, Beel? This **isn’t** a request,” Lucifer reiterates.

“...Yeah, I understand,” Beelzebub replies with little hesitation.

“...Ugh, this sucks…” Mammon sucks in a tight breath.

“Beel, Tyz, you’re excused.” Lucifer folds his arms across his chest.

“Please be careful,” Jason whispers over to Tyz. “Text me if you need something! Or call! I’ll find you! I’ll get you out if need be, I swear!”

“Jason,” Tyz cuts him off. “Relax. I’ll be fine.”

“Okay,” he whines. “Bye bye, bestie.”

“See ya, bestie.” The two walk off and out of Lucifer’s room, assumedly off to Beel’s room, if not the current remains of Tyz’s room to scavenge out clothes or other personal items left to the dust and grit of the kitchen wall. Jason and Mammon remain in the room with Lucifer.

“Now. Mammon.” Lucifer looks over to the second oldest. “I don’t want you messing with Tyz like that, okay? They’re _not_ your plaything. They’re our _guest_ here in the Devildom, and if they come to harm because of your infernal antics, you’ll be missing more than your credit card.”

“Eep!” Mammon squeaks and grips his ass--no, his wallet, which happens to be in his back pocket. Jason was not staring at his ass. He looked at Lucifer’s shoes. Black leather. Shiny gold buckles across the tops. Very beautiful shoes! Yuck. He was looking at _Lucifer’s shoes._

“I’d scold you more if not for the presence of another human guest,” Lucifer frowns. “Consider yourself lucky.”

Jason gulped. “Better buy a lottery ticket,” he muttered.

“Am I free to go?” Mammon scowls at his older brother, who was more like an older _bother_ to him, if anything.

“You are free to go.” Lucifer pinches the bridge of his nose, rubbing it in frustration. Mammon scuttles quickly out of the room.

This leaves just Jason and Lucifer, standing across from each other. It feels almost too intimate to be alone with Lucifer during the night like this, too much for Jason.

“Jason.” Lucifer’s voice commands Jason to look up at him. Jason felt more than small compared to the demons around him. He felt _tiny,_ like an ant feels next to a scarab beetle. Like an aphid feels next to a ladybug. “Do you know why I called you in here, too?”

“Nope,” Jason shrugs. “Wait.” He thinks for a moment, trying to remember if he did anything wrong. Got out of bed, saw the kitchen mess, went for Lucifer, went back, Lucifer called them up… oh, he totally insinuated that Lucifer was lazy, without even knowing him for that long. “Nope.”

“You have a terrible memory, don’t you?” Lucifer frowns. “You don’t remember telling me to… how did you put it? Oh, yes. _Get off my sorry ass and do something._ I didn’t forget.”

“Oh.” Jason flushes with shame, for the third or fourth time that evening. “I’m sorry. I got frustrated and--”

“No excuses.” Lucifer holds up a gloved hand, again. “But don’t let it happen again.” Lucifer turns heel, wandering over to a window that overlooks the courtyard. “Jason, you’ve come to our school late. I hope you’ve enjoyed your stay so far. But there’s a certain set of _rules_ we ask you to follow. They’re simple.” He casts a ruby gaze back to Jason. “Complete your studies and survive the year here.”

“That makes it sound like I could die at any moment,” Jason chuckles.

“You could,” Lucifer chuckles back, echoing the sound. Jason shuts up immediately.

“So, my fear of demons was rooted in some truth?”

“Unprovoked, demons are just as harmless as any other being.” Lucifer taps his fingers on the windowsill, watching bird-like entities streak by. “When provoked, though, as you saw with my brother, we are _very_ much dangerous. Tyz has stayed out of trouble--for the most part--and I expect you to do the same, if not better.” He smiles from the side. If Jason’s eyesight weren’t so poor, he could have sworn there was an extra row of teeth showing from up on Lucifer’s sharp cheek. “I can trust you to do that, right?”

“...Yes,” Jason hesitates before answering. Though he had no trust in any demons, he did much prefer to listen to things like school rules in comparison to dying a gruesome, painful death at the hands of a demon. “I’ll obey.”

“Good human.” Lucifer smiles. “You are excused.”

Jason nods his head at Lucifer before leaving without another word.

* * *

The next day came without so much as a hitch. Jason dressed himself, without further intrusion from Asmodeus, unlike the day before. Once he went down to breakfast, Asmodeus waved to him gleefully, and Tyz also gave a halfhearted wave. Beelzebub was tucking into another plate. Jason counted. He was on his sixth one. Where did all the food go? Did Beelzebub just digest things so quickly that he needed constant fill in his stomach as to not wreck himself from the inside out via terrible demonic acid? He shrugged the thought away. Other brothers that Jason hadn’t talked to much were there as well, Satan and Leviathan. Lucifer was at the head of the table. Mammon was next to Tyz, chair sat closer than normal. Yes, everything seemed normal. Normal as it could be. There was still a sense of unease in Jason’s stomach about the empty seat at the tail end of the table, though. Like somebody belonged there.

He gathered up some vaguely normal looking foods on a small plate and sat in the empty space between Asmodeus and Beelzebub. The incident from last night still sat heavy on his mind. If Beelzebub could do that, what could the others do? If he was angered by something as, frankly, _miniscule_ as a stolen custard cup, what could another do if sent into a flying fit of rage? It made him shiver.

“Did you sleep well, my dear?” Asmodeus leans down and rubs his head on Jason’s. Jason jolts in his chair from the sudden touch. “My, somebody’s jumpy.”

“I am always jumpy and I am always on edge,” Jason gives a worried smile, teeth showing in a poor fashion, before looking at what to tackle first on his plate. Something moved. He grabbed something that was still alive. “My plate’s alive.”

“Oh! Those are sparkworms. They’re _so_ good.” Asmodeus pushes his fork onto the plate and grabs a few, which still squirm even after being stabbed by it. “Say _ahh.”_

“No thanks.”

“You have to eat _something,”_ Asmodeus coos. In the same breath, he puts the fork in his own mouth, slurping down the worms. A forked tongue flicks out to keep his lips clean. Jason was doing his best not to focus on his beautiful face. But boy, it was hard.

“I prefer the things I eat to be dead,” Jason grimaces, thinking about the times he’s had to ask for meat well done.

“Your picky eating is going to throw me off my diet,” Asmodeus hums. “I’m going to want to keep eating the things off your plate. I can’t help myself.”

“I should stop eating, then.”

“Noooo! Eat!” Asmodeus clasps his hands together.

“‘M eatin’,” Jason mumbles as he shoves some orange striped oats into his mouth. It wasn’t that bad. It tasted like oats. Thank God for oats and wheat being a constant.

The morning passed. Jason went to classes. The language class went as expected. The class he had after that was some sort of math class. The construction of the classroom was similar to the others. They were all probably the same, sort of styled like a Gothic-era church aisle. Strange architecture to have for a school, but hey, this is Hell, they probably function differently here. Demons filtered into the class. The chair next to him was empty, until it was filled, by none other than his best friend.

“Hey bestie,” Tyz said, smiling at him.

“Hey bestie!” Jason smiles back. “I didn’t know we had this class together.”

“You sat somewhere else the first day and kept to yourself.” Tyz pulls out some of their notebooks and sets them on the desk. “I didn’t get a chance to say hello before you rushed out the classroom. What’s the hurry?”

“I don’t really like it here in Hell,” Jason fiddles with a pencil in his hands. “Kinda stinky.”

“It’ll grow on you,” Tyz smiles.

“You’ve only been here for what, a month?” Jason closes his eyes. “Grow on you, my ass. Grow on me, more like a moss or some kinda infectious disease.”

“You’re nasty.”

 _“You’re_ nasty. Macking on demons, I bet.”

“Oh my God, shut up.”

“It’s true! It’s totally true!” Jason shakes Tyz by the shoulders.

“No! Lemme go!” Tyz flushes bright in the face. “Shut up!”

“Bleh.” Jason lets them go.

“Bleh.” Tyz sticks their tongue out at Jason. “Listen. I talked with Beelzebub last night.”

“Yeah? ‘Bout what?”

“A lot of things.” Tyz leans closer to keep their conversation semi-private as the professor droned on at the front of the class. Jason was good at math, anyways. He could worry about it later. “He has a twin brother. Now his twin brother was sent to the _human_ world to go study. Crazy, huh?”

“Crazy.” Jason fiddles with his mustache, or whatever it could be considered, fuzzy hair on the upper lip. “You’d think there’d be a whole fuss about it.”

“Maybe it happened in like, Great Britain or something.”

“Or something. Anyways, continue.”

“Yeah. So. Twin brother. Belphegor.” Tyz nods. “Apparently, was chosen to go to the human world after having some kind of argument with Luci. He was _forced,_ Jason.”

“Yo, what the fuck!”

“Yeah, I know! And like, they’re twins cuz their father made them at the same time.”

“Same time?”

“Yeah. I dunno. It’s some sort of weird power-birth-order-thing. And they had a _little sister,_ too!”

“What?!”

“Yeah. And I went and looked at a picture of Belphegor, and… yeah, they look nothing at all alike. Belphegor’s got some weird frosted-tips bangs fringe whatever going on.”

“No idea what that looks like.”

“It’s hard to explain without showing you. You’d have to go look for a picture of him yourself. Portrait room. Can’t miss it. Up the square spire.”

“Square spire. Noted.” Jason made a personal note to investigate the portrait room for this mysterious seventh brother. That’s what was nagging at him--knowing that the brothers were embodiments of the cardinal sins, but missing one of them to make seven. What were they again? _Lucifer, pride. Mammon, greed. Leviathan, envy. Satan, wrath. Asmodeus, lust. Beelzebub, gluttony--_

“You, human, front row, short brown hair. Come. It’s obvious you haven’t been paying attention.” The teacher glared at Jason. Uh oh.

“To the front?” Jason points at himself, just to clarify.

“To the front. Solve the problem on the board.” The teacher holds out a piece of chalk. Jason notices the teacher’s spiked tail whipping around in frustration. Was he really spaced out for that long? He gets up from his chair and grabs the chalk, looking over the problem on the board. There were numbers. There were symbols. Greek symbols. Jason assumed this is what they had here in the Devildom instead of letter variables. Okay. Okay! He could do this. He just had to focus, and remember the things he learned in high school math. Blech.

After a few minutes of furious scribbling on the blackboard with the chalk, he resulted in some sort of answer. His thoughts were all over the place, but he got it right.

“So… that means, you have… three solutions? Three solutions,” Jason walks through his thinking. “I went the more complex route but that’s fine. You’ve got your variable equal to zero, negative three-quarters, and negative ten.” He smiles. “Hope that’s what you wanted, ‘cause that’s what you get.”

“Your uniform’s not up to code,” the teacher gruffs, “but you got this correct. Seems you _were_ paying attention, after all. Some of you should take notes on that.” He shoots a glare off to the leftmost side of the room. “Mammon.”

The class quietly giggles as everyone stares over to Mammon, who, apparently, was also in this class. It sure didn’t show, because he might as well have been asleep, with the most vacant look panting his face. “Huh?”

The class laughs harder as Jason takes his seat, feeling a bit sad for the poor guy.

“Nice work,” Tyz compliments. “Be careful next time. Mr. Sorrin’s a strict teacher.”

“I got quadratic crap down on lock. I don’t need to worry… but Mammon does.”

The rest of the class continues without worry. Before Jason can leave, he’s stopped up by Mammon, who grabs his attention in the poorest fashion possible.

“Short human!” He calls out with glee. “Come here! You should be lucky the Great Mammon is asking for you!”

“Did you forget my name?” Jason frowns. “It’s Jason. I don’t mind much about being called short, especially compared to you, but come on.”

“Hmph.” Mammon fiddles with his school bags. “Well. I saw you sitting next to Tyz, and I just want you to know… they’re _my_ human, got it?”

“Tyz doesn’t belong to you,” Jason scoffs.

“Oh no, I don’t think you get it. Tyz and I have a pact. We made our first pact together. They’re _mine,_ got it?”

“Reevaluate your ideals, Mammon, Tyz doesn’t belong to anybody!” Jason laughs at him. “Besides, I’m not stealing them away from you. As much as I’d want to. So back off.”

“Grr,” Mammon growls low. Jason slips by him, through the door, and off to his next class. “Aw, damn. I forgot to ask him about that equation he used.”

* * *

At dinner that evening, Tyz and Jason sit next to each other. Mammon sits on the other side of Tyz, keeping a close eye on Jason, and a closer eye on Tyz. There was idle chatter between the brothers; nothing too interesting.

“So,” Jason says, in between hyping himself up to take a bite of whatever writhing mass was on his plate tonight, “how’s sleeping with Beelzebub?”

Tyz flushes. “Don’t put it like that.”

“Woah, somebody’s _sleeping_ together?” Asmodeus overhears and pipes in, _loudly._

“H-hey! Tyz, don’t you be sleeping with my brothers, y’hear?!” Mammon shouts, slamming down his fork on the table. No, _in_ the table--his fork was now stuck in the table. “Uh oh.”

“Mammon,” Lucifer barks. “Again? Really?”

“Repeat offender, eh?” Jason bites his tongue so as to not laugh at Mammon’s misfortune. Once the commotion at the table dies down, Jason returns to the original conversation. “How’s staying in Beelzebub’s room fairing for you?”

“Mm. It’s alright. But you know.” Tyz leans in close to Jason, so nobody else can hear. “You can’t mention the seventh brother around Lucifer. ‘Cause apparently he’ll get mad. Text me later, ‘kay?”

“‘Kay.”

Dinner ends, and the Lamentation Lackeys disperse to their respective rooms. Jason freshens up, thinking about how it’s only been a few days since he’s arrived, and he already feels immersed in the mess of a place they call the Devildom. Tangled up in everyone’s problems, whether he’s aware or not, or whether he knows exactly what’s going on or not. Jason sits up in bed and stares at his D.D.D. Time to ask more about this mysterious seventh brother.

**Yo!!!!!!!!!**

**Tyz**

**Lol wake up are u dead???**

**I need to know about belphegor**

**That was his name right**

**I need to write down these names somewhere**

**so i dont forget**

**Yes his name is Belphegor**

**Beel calls him Belphie if that’s any**

**help**

**And you really do cuz i still havent**

**forgotten how you called Mammon…**

**Marmon**

**Fucking Marmon. Jason. Come on**

**Shut up**

**Belphegor**

**Information**

**NYOWWWWW!!!!!!**

**I told you his picture is hanging up**

**in the portrait hall**

**Up the square stairwell**

**It’s got a gold plate at the bottom**

**Says “Belphegor”**

**I got that part**

**Note: need to go look at it later**

**But not now i’m in bed and tired**

**Old man**

**Okay**

**Let’s keep conversations about Belphie**

**to texts and stuff ok cause talking**

**about it with Beel seemed to upset him**

**And Beel’s a nice guy actually**

**I don’t wanna upset him**

**Nor do i want to upset Luci**

**Dude *i* don’t wanna upset Lucifer**

**I don’t wanna really upset any demon**

**tbh**

**That’d be like asking to die**

**Feel me?**

**Yes I feel you**

**Because i already told you about the**

**time with the spiral staircase and**

**Lucifer did i not**

**Oh ya i remember now**

**He totally flipped his shit on you right**

**Well not necessarily “flipped shit” i would**

**say but yeah he wasn’t very happy**

**Did you ever figure out why?**

**Nope**

**Never told me what was up there**

**I mean why would he?**

**Idk. He could say some bs like**

**Oh it’s just a bunch of old books**

**Nothing cool just boring shit**

**Or the lock is broken and you could**

**get trapped up there and i loooove you**

**so much tyz my dear i would never**

**want to see you getting hurt and then**

**BAM passionate kiss right there**

**Mammon sees**

**He’s jealous**

**He runs out crying**

**Mammon shoulda been the patron**

**of envy like damn 💚**

**Jason**

**I’m not in love with Lucifer**

**Quit setting me up in these sappy**

**situations with dudes that would never**

**actually want me :(**

**> NEVER ACTUALLY WANT ME**

**> MFW YOU ACTUALLY LIKE LUCIFER**

**SHUT UP THAT’S NOT WHAT I**

**MEANT???????**

**> MFW IT’S TOTALLY WHAT YOU MEANT**

**I hate you.**

**If i knew how to block your number**

**I would**

**I should ask Levi he probably knows.**

**Because i hate you**

**SO MUCH right now**

**No you looooove me**

****

**END**

Jason sets down his phone. It’s still early in the evening. There’s no harm in wandering the halls, right? Right. It was only about half-past seven. Not very late, actually. Jason slips on his jacket and puts on some shoes before leaving his room and walking out.

The halls in the House of Lamentation were strange. They felt very, very long, and were confusing and awkward to navigate. But a square staircase seemed like a pretty easy thing to find. It would be at the end of a hallway somewhere, surely. That made sense, in terms of places staircases would be. He passed by multiple rooms, but the library caught his eye. It was simply _massive_ in terms of size. The House of Lamentation was one of those buildings that looked averagely sized when outside of it, but held so many places inside. It almost made him think it was cursed or something. The library was filled to the brim with books. Upon closer inspection, they were all titles that he didn’t recognize, organized in different sections, by contents. Books about magic, fictional stories, old tomes about the Devildom, a whole set of encyclopedias (twenty in total, from counting, and probably more on the next shelf). It was incredible. Jason turns when he hears shoes pad across the rug.

“Oh. Hello there.” It’s Satan. Under his arm, he holds a few novels. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Didn’t mean to intrude,” Jason says, stepping back from the bookshelf. He was a full-bodied man, unlike demons like Mammon and Asmodeus, who Jason would probably describe as thin. Satan actually had substance to him, thankfully, like he wouldn’t blow over in a gust. His eyes were striking, like storms were swirling behind them, and they may as well have been; he was the Avatar of Wrath, Jason remembered.

“I didn’t take you as the reader type,” Satan continues walking, but does so slowly, as to invite a bit of conversation.

“I’m not. I mean, I am? Sometimes. If I feel like it,” Jason prattles off. “What I mean is, I was looking for something else, saw all these books, and got distracted.”

“Oh, I understand the feeling,” Satan nods. “What were you looking for? I might be able to tell you where it is.”

“Square staircase.”

“Excuse me?” Satan turns and quirks an eyebrow.

“I’m looking for the portrait room. And Tyz said it’s up a square staircase. But. You know. I don’t know this place!” Jason shoots his hands into the air. “So I got lost.”

“Oh,” Satan blinks. “When you leave the library, turn right, go all the way down the hallway. Then turn left. Staircase will be on your right. Go up four flights, that hallway has the portrait room. Got that?”

“Sure,” said Jason, who was sure he’d forget the directions as soon as he stopped talking to Satan.

“You’re welcome.” Satan walks over to the door, opening it, but stops and turns back to Jason. “Just so you know, there’s a curfew. Lucifer sometimes jumps surprise checks, so you need to be careful. Nine-o-clock.” His lip quirks up. “I’d hate to see you at the receiving end of his scolding.”

“Trust me,” Jason mulls, “already have been.”

Satan gently chuckles. “Goodbye, human.” He turns left and disappears down the hallway, books in hand. It’s obvious to him that Satan wasn’t the type that enjoyed Lucifer’s company, for whatever reason. He runs back over the directions in his mind as he steps out of the library, quietly closing the door behind him. Right. Down the hallway. Left. Staircase on the right. And up one, two, three, four flights of marble-coated stairs with gilded railings and paintings hung all throughout the place, mostly of menial things, but Jason swears he recognized some of the art on the walls--they appeared to be works from famous artists. Well, famous in _his_ book. An education in art history finally served for something. No, he couldn’t get distracted, not now. This appeared to be the portrait hall.

It was filled to the brim with masterfully rendered pieces of artwork, and on closer inspection on some of them, they appeared to be oil pieces, a medium that takes years of practice and dedication to master. They were incredible, to say the least, bordered with decorative gold tinted frames. It was like walking through a museum, with art from all the greats--well, the European standard of greats, at least--strung upon the walls. There were portraits of all the brothers. The further down the hall he went, the more art he saw. There was one large portrait that featured all seven brothers, posed together, looking about as uptight, prim, and proper as possible. Could they have been demons of couth and regard long ago? They sure acted like college-age students, even Lucifer, who could be seen as the “stuck up” or “know-it-all” type. At the end of the hallway, there hang a great portrait. Jason recognized one of the figures--he stood in a tight-fitting bright red uniform, cane clasped under his hands, with a serious expression on his face. It was the same demon he’d seen when he first arrived at the Devildom, laughing at his misfortune. To the demon’s left, an older looking demon sat in a gilded throne. His maturity showed with wrinkled features, greying hairs, and horns growing out in all sorts of shapes, getting worn and white at the tips with age. He must be very important, having this whole wall dedicated to him and the other demon Jason had met.

“Having a late-night excursion to the portrait hall, I see.” Lucifer’s voice booms without being loud, startling Jason, who yelps and looks behind him.

“Oh, my God. You gave me a heart attack there,” he says, clutching his shirt.

“You don’t appear to be ill.” Lucifer smirks, slowly strutting up beside Jason. “Do you know who this is?” He gestures to the artwork.

“I know I remember meeting him on my first day here,” Jason says. “Never caught his name, though.”

“Lord Diavolo,” he says, laying out a palm to the demon standing gracefully next to the reclining older demon. “He is the headmaster of this academy. It’s named after him. Royal Academy of Diavolo. RAD.”

“Oh. I thought Tyz was calling the school cool.”

“No. The other one is the current Demon King. He doesn’t really touch affairs regarding the three worlds, though, so Lord Diavolo is more like the king, if you were to ask me.”

“The three worlds.” Jason doesn’t exactly pose it as a question, more of a statement.

“Yes,” Lucifer nods. “The Celestial Realm, which lies above us all, where angels reside. The Human Realm, that’s what you and Tyz call home. And where we are right now, the Devildom, where demons reside.”

“So this is Hell,” Jason states again.

“If archaic terms from your religious scripture make you feel more comfortable describing the area you are in right now, then yes,” Lucifer sighs, “this is Hell.”

“I expected more fire, honestly.”

“Interesting. What other assumptions did you have about the Devildom?”

“Mm. Mostly fire. But also, flowing rivers of like, acid. Or lava. You know, molten rock. I also expected it to be hot. And the demons, too. I expected those. But there’s no mortal souls floating around. You know, when Christians talk about Hell, they’re like, you’re going to Hell if you sin. You’re going to Hell if you screw up, so don’t fucking screw up! Oops.” Jason stops. “I’ve got a sailor’s mouth.”

“It’s quite alright. Continue.” Lucifer waves him on.

“So, like. I expected a bunch of bad people to be here in Hell. Or, should I have expected all the people that Christian radicals wanted to go to Hell to be here in Hell? Like gay people. Which is total fucking bogus, you know? ‘Cause the Bible says love thy neighbor, not cast your neighbor to Hell. But what do I know?”

“What interesting ideas you have,” Lucifer smiles, placing a hand over his chest. “The Devildom is not where people go when they pass away.”

“Heaven?”

“You mean the Celestial Realm. Almost, but not quite. I believe they go somewhere else.”

“Good to know I’m not going to be burning in eternal damnation for, I dunno, existing.”

“Of course not.” Lucifer turns on his heel. “Let me walk you back to your room.”

“I don’t need help back to my room. What, you think I don’t know my way around?” Jason scoffed, despite not knowing his way around at all.

“Yes,” Lucifer smirks. “Come.”

Jason remembers he was looking for a portrait of Belphegor. He turns, looking over his left shoulder, and he spots it--a brother he hadn’t seen before. That must have been Belphegor, with the frosted tips of hair hanging over one of his eternally tired eyes, gaze turned to the viewer, infinitely piercing in its violet intensity. It was the same demon that was in the family portrait.

“Jason,” Lucifer calls. “We don’t have all night.”

“Sorry, coming.” Jason steps alongside Lucifer, keeping up with his wide gait. Lucifer lays a large hand on Jason’s back, making him jolt.

“Calm yourself,” Lucifer seems to purr the words out. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

“I’m calm,” Jason mutters, though his heart threatening to jump out of his chest and the pink blush dusting his face say otherwise.

In the blink of an eye, Jason and Lucifer are suddenly at the door of his room. Like they teleported. Maybe they did. Either way, Lucifer kept his promise; he walked Jason back to his room. “Good night, Jason.”

“Night.” Jason watches him step away, disappear down the hallway, and he swears he can hear the flutter of feathered wings, a dotting of black amongst Lucifer’s back, just before he turns the corner. His heart’s still thrumming wildly from Lucifer’s touch. He goes in his room, closes the door, and texts Tyz.

**I smacked Lucifer on the ass**

**Get jealous LOL**

**END**

Jason goes to bed without another word.

* * *

Jason wakes up the next morning feeling a bit more tired than usual, but laughs when he sees a response from his friend.

**If u rly did smack his ass**

**You’d be 3 diff flavors of dead rn**

**LOL ROFLMAO**

**SDFSDHGEDSGHSGK**

**AKLFJIEUFHSDFMN**

**Yeah but what if i did and he didnt**

**do anything would you be**

**jealous?**

**No**

**Why would I be**

**IN LOVE WITH LUCIFER**

**LOL (LOVING ON LUCIFER)**

**THAT’S YOU**

**Gonna block your number brb**

**END**

Tyz and Jason’s friendship was impenetrable, despite their near-constant bickering. To outsiders, it might seem the two were rivals, but they were far from it--Jason made this as clear as he possibly could to his friend in moments of vulnerability. They relied on each other, even when they had their disagreements. If there were any person Jason felt he could confide in, even when stuck in a sticky situation like the one he was in right now, regarding the Devildom, it would be Tyz. Without a doubt.

Today ran as normal, or as normal as one could be after only spending a few days in Hell. First two classes went by without a hitch. Nothing new or interesting. The only issue was that today, Jason foolishly forgot to pack a lunch. That was what he’d been doing for the past few days--scavenging cabinets in the House of Lamentation for something vaguely resembling a food in the human world, throwing it in his bag, and praying it would hold him over until dinner that same night. This time he would _have_ to traverse into the lunchroom, whether he liked it or not. Trying to finish the afternoon on an empty stomach is just _asking_ to get embarrassed from unholy tummy growlings.

Cafetorium. Lunch room. Mess hall. Whatever you called it, it was the place where most students sat and ate their lunch. And also talked very loudly. It seems demons talk about twice as loud as teenagers in high school do, so the lunchroom felt like a rock concert. This would take some getting used to. The dreaded lunch line imposed on Jason. He’d be stuck between some demons. Jason could only hope they wouldn’t be so hungry that they’d start picking at his skin. He stood in line, waiting, quietly moving along. It was all going well, until a guttural growl echoed behind him.

“Ey, puny,” the demonic voice crackled. “I could use your ribs to pick my teeth.”

“I’m actually not all that tasty,” Jason replied. “I’m mostly fatty. You’d have to cook me first.”

“You like fucking around, you little human punk?” The demon grips Jason by the back of his leather jacket, lifting him to eye level. “Just so you know, not all of us students _wanted_ a human exchange student. Some of us, because we hate humans… and the rest of us, because the smell of a human is _delicious,_ you know.”

“Really, because I think I smell mostly like sweat and Old Spice,” Jason squirms in the air. “Please put me down. My jacket’s got a hole in it and I’m heavy. I’ll rip it.”

“You’ll be saying a different tune once your guts’re spilled on the floor!” Other demons turned to watch the altercation unfold, shouting and squabbling over what would happen. Jason’s expression pales, staring deep into the amber eyes of the unknown demon. All this for lunch.

“Oh, Lord!” Jason shouts, trying to hold up his hands to protect himself in vain. “I never even kissed someone!”

A hush befalls the lunchroom as Jason shuts his eyes, letting his body prepare for the worst, but it never comes. He peers from behind parted fingers to see that the demon has a clawed hand death-gripping his shoulder. The orange hair and deep purple eyes were a giveaway to the identity of the grabber--it was Beelzebub.

“You’re holding up the line,” he snarled, canines baring themselves. The perpetrator demon chuckles nervously, dropping Jason to the ground with a thud. The demon scampers away, avoiding the wrath of a school counsel super-tough demon.

“Oh my God,” Jason breathes, heart still thumping from the altercation.

“Are you okay?” Beelzebub’s brows knit together, giving the previously frightening demon a look like a little puppy.

“Fine, I’m fine,” Jason replies, getting off the ground. “My ass hurts though. Dude dropped me right on my ass.”

“Heh,” Beelzebub gave a short rumble of giggles, which sounded more like a cat’s purring. “Is your ass going to be okay?”

“Might need ass surgery,” Jason eggs on the joke. “Might need an ass replacement.”

“Oh, no,” Beelzebub’s giggles ripple through the lunchroom, which has returned to its normal volume. It was an incredible noise. His voice. It was throaty and beautiful. Was this the same guy who, just the day before, was a gargantuan beast hovering over Jason’s best friend and his own brother? “Don’t die, okay?”

“I once woke up during a surgery, actually,” Jason says as he continues on his way in the lunch line.

“That’s really scary.”

“Yeah, I know! They still had their hands and tools in my mouth and everything. It was terrible.”

“It would be bad to wake up during ass surgery. Their hands would be on your ass.”

“You wouldn’t feel anything, though. They have anesthesia in the Devildom, hopefully.”

“I don’t know what that is.”

“Stuff that makes you sleepy or makes you numb.” They approach the food counter, and Jason scopes out the options. “Hey, what’s good here?”

“Mmm,” Beelzebub’s stomach rumbles with delight upon seeing all the food. “Can I say _everything?_ Because for a school, everything is good here.”

“Okay. I believe you. But I’m not eating anything that currently moves.”

“That takes away about half the options.” Beelzebub’s gaze rakes across the food that moves. Some of it has eyeballs, peering back at him. “They’re really good.”

“Something that doesn’t move, nor has eyes.” Jason looks, holding out his plate and pointing to the most basic-looking foods. “That looks okay.”

“You’ll like that,” Beelzebub nods.

“You know, I find myself missing a lot of food from home,” Jason walks along with Beelzebub to an empty table, assuming he’s invited to sit with him. “Food’s one of those… constant things in life, you get me? I miss the simple stuff. Kraft macaroni. Frozen pizzas. I’ve been craving a milkshake.”

“That all sounds really good,” Beelzebub smiles. “I don’t know what a milkshake is, though. Is it like a fangshake?”

“I mean, maybe. It’s like… milk and ice cream, blended together as a sweet treat. Sometimes they have other flavors in it too, like chocolate or strawberry.”

“Mmm…” Beelzebub’s stomach rumbles again.

“Sometimes mint.”

“Mint?”

“Yeah. They had the most awesome Lucky Milkshakes at MobDonald’s. They’d only have them for a month, but man, they were good.”

“I _so_ wanna go back to the human world now.”

“Go back?”

Before Jason can get a solid response from Beelzebub, the bell rings, announcing that it was time to return to class. “Oh. We better get to class.”

“Aw, shit!” Jason quickly scoops something to eat off his plate and swallows it down without regard. “Okay, okay. Let’s go.”

“Text me later,” Beelzebub waves as he jogs out of the lunchroom, disappearing into the crowd of demons also returning to their classes. Jason watches on, suddenly realizing Beelzebub saved him, despite not knowing him for long, and despite Jason casting suspicion on him from the beginning. His throat felt tight with something. He wasn’t sure if it was affection, stress, or from the food he ate in less than a minute.

* * *

Dinner passed in the blink of an eye as Jason quickly retired to his room to relax. There were plenty of things he wanted to do. It was technically his fourth day in the Devildom, but it felt like there were a multitude of things that needed to be investigated. First, there were texts that had to be exchanged.

**Tyz**

**You didn’t block my number**

**did you**

****

**That;s me so mad at u if u did**

**I didn’t**

**YAY**

**That means i get to text you**

**Anyways**

**I saw a pic of Belphegor**

**You were right about the frosted**

**bang fringes whatever the fuck**

**So he went up to the human world**

**for exchange stuff**

**Yep**

**Twins with Beelzebub, remember?**

**Hey you were right about them being**

**nice**

**Beelzebub helped me out today**

**Oh?**

**A demon was about to make me eat**

**shit when he came in and laid**

**down the law on him**

**So i think i owe him one tbh**

**He’s kinda cute**

**Beelzebub?**

**Oh my God**

**You’re four days into being here**

**Don’t go falling for someone**

**right away**

**Bro**

**Shut the fuck up**

**Not like that he’s just cute**

**Like a bunny or a puppy**

**Cute**

**You know you said the same thing**

**about a lot of characters Jason**

**I mean if you Do have a thing for**

**Beel that wouldn’t be so bad**

**I can see it**

**You two would be cute together**

**GRRRRRR**

**Shut up**

**Anyways i gotta text Beel**

**Cuz he said for me to text him**

**Omg**

**You have a texting date with him**

**In love much?**

**Gay**

**Jump in a hole and die**

**While you’re at it burn to a crisp**

**Then i’m gonna pee on your flayed**

**corpse so you know not to**

**fuck with me like this EVER**

**Ok gay**

**END**

It was time to chat with Beelzebub. Thankfully, everyone’s contacts seemed to be loaded into Jason’s D.D.D.

**Hey Beelzebub**

**It’s Jason**

**You wanted me to text you**

**Hang on.**

**In the kitchen.**

**Are you ever not in the kitchen**

**When I’m sleeping.**

**But Lucifer says that sometimes**

**I sleepwalk and go to the kitchen**

**and eat.**

**Ok that’s impressive**

**Whatcha eating**

**Oleander ball cake.**

**It’s really good.**

**I’m pretty sure that’s a super**

**poisonous flower but you know**

**You do you**

**It’s a little sour.**

**That’s what makes it good.**

****

**I assume you wanted me to text**

**So we could continue our conversation**

**from lunch is that right**

**Yes.**

**It sounded like you were curious.**

**Yes i was very much!!!**

**So tell me**

**A fangshake is a special kind of treat**

**made from stalliserpent venom.**

**It goes great with whipped scream.**

**You should try it sometime.**

**I’m pretty sure it’s safe if a human eats it.**

**Oh.**

**Is something wrong?**

**I thought you were gonna tell me**

**about……. nevermind**

**Alright.**

**Tyz is in my bed right now.**

**I know you worry about them.**

**I understand how that feels.**

**You do?**

**Yes.**

**I worry a lot about my brother in the**

**human world. He’s there as an**

**exchange student.**

**I saw a picture of him**

**Belphegor, right?**

**Yes, that’s him.**

**I miss him…**

**Has he been gone for long?**

**Since the beginning of the year.**

**He transferred there with another demon.**

**I haven’t been able to contact him because**

**the D.D.D. doesn’t work the same in the**

**human world.**

**That’s too bad :(**

**I’m really sorry Beelzebub**

**It’s okay.**

**I’m just counting the days until he gets**

**back.**

**It’s too bad. You won’t be able to meet him.**

**You and Tyz will be gone and he will return.**

**He’s a really nice guy once you get to know**

**him.**

**I bet he is**

**Tell him I said hi when you see him**

**next then okay??**

**I will.**

**END**

So now it was definitely confirmed that Belphegor was the missing brother. Missing, or well, misplaced, more like. Beelzebub didn’t go into any detail on _why_ Belphegor was chosen specifically to go to the human world, but Jason could trust Tyz’s insider information, how Belphegor had an argument or some such with Lucifer and was forced there against his will. An interesting punishment, especially interesting when considering Beelzebub’s adverb _back_ in reference to the human world. Had Beelzebub been there before? And if Beelzebub and Belphegor are so close, had they gone there _together?_ There were lots of questions, and little time to put it all together. Maybe it would be a good idea to write all these things down, so he wouldn’t forget.

Jason fished the small leather-bound book from his drawer. He kept it there for the day, not wanting to hold it in his pocket all the time, not finding a use for it. He opened the book on his desk, fishing for a pen. He flipped through the pages. Last time he looked in them, they seemed to have markings, but he might have been mistaken. On the top of this certain cluster of pages, the paper boldly announced this: _The Song of Solomon._

“Song of Solomon,” Jason echoed. “Man, ain’t that funny. I know a guy named Solomon. They had a Solomon in the Bible, too. Maybe this is a Bible, after all.”

He flipped through the pages, taking in the words, painting a picture of the life of King Solomon. When he grazed over a certain verse, he was reminded of something in the House of Lamentation.

_My to-be, your body like the staircase to heaven, your breasts like the sun and moon. I think, I shall climb this staircase and take hold of those celestial bodies. May your breasts be like the warm day and the cool night. May the fragrance of your breath carry the winds of Tenol._

A staircase. Jason had talked to Tyz about a certain spiral staircase that they weren’t allowed up. The thought of going against Lucifer’s wishes, while a scary thought, stirred something exciting and fiery inside of Jason. Who _knows_ what could be up there?

“Thanks for inspiring me to be naughty, book!” Jason closes the book and leaves it on his desk. He checks the time. It’s just past seven. “Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.” He slips on a pair of shoes and dons his jacket before exiting his room.

This would be another opportunity to not only explore the House of Lamentation, but make a little mental map of it to analyze later. Jason traversed the halls, peering at every unique door, ignoring a place where the wallpaper seemed to lapse over itself, looking at statues and other artistic pieces displayed. He remembered the spiral staircase would be somewhere near Lucifer’s room. Lucifer’s room was up the stairs in the main hall. As Jason passed by, he felt a chill go down his spine. He listened closely to his door. There was music faintly playing, the sound of dress shoes tapping on the floor in rhythm to it. If there were any time to go snooping and not get found out, it was now.

Jason continued down the long hallway, taking in all the sights of chandeliers, wall-mounted candles, gilded poles, and stained glass windows. It was all so incredible, and if the mounting, infinite darkness outside didn’t remind him he was in Hell, he’d love it that much more. The hallway seemed to get darker as he went on, and upon reaching the end, Jason was met by exactly what he was looking for--the spiral staircase.

“Do or die,” he mumbles, quietly stepping upwards.

The staircase itself was a dark bluish marble; the railing was also black, cold steel. It gave Jason a chill, one worse than when he passed by Lucifer’s room. His phone tittered in his pocket with a text notification. He plucked it out and shut it off. Now was not the time for distractions.

The staircase appeared to be lit at the top from a skylight, filtering in pale moonlight that danced like water off the steps. It was a touch frightening. When he reached the top, he was met with another hallway, a touch dusty, like it was long unused. Candles were still lit across the walls. Jason wondered if they were magic candles, where they were lit with some kind of spell. It would be a pain if someone had to come up all these stairs to light these few candles every day and put them out every night, or every time someone was away. There was a red carpet across the floor. Jason’s mind suddenly felt heavy, as if it were full of words he couldn’t interpret.

Jason touched the wall. It was a beautifully ornamented wallpaper, with shiny gold parts accenting plain, eggshell texture red parts. He traced the gold with a finger as he walked. He felt a faint buzzing in his ears, and every step he took made him feel more tired than usual. A lapse came in the wallpaper. Some of it was peeling up, begging to be torn apart at. Jason looked behind him. He gently tugged on it.

The wallpaper shuddered, and dissipated away as soon as Jason tugged a little too hard. He took a few steps back. The lack of wallpaper seemed to reveal a sort of ornamented cage door, with red and pale yellow paint accenting the baseball-sized square holes in it. When he squinted past it, Jason saw… It looked like a room. Yes, it had things people would see in a room. There was a bed with blankets strewn about it in a haphazard fashion. There was a fluffy, purple rug on the floor. A paper lamp hangs from the center of the ceiling, with other fairy lights helping give a faint glow to the room.

“Oh fuck,” Jason whispers. “I think I fucked up.”

“Who’s there?” A voice rumbles. Soft footsteps come towards the door. Jason considers running, but he’s frozen in place. A figure soon comes into view. He’s thin, with a paunch hanging out just above his pajama pants. Pajama pants that were white with black “cow” splotches on it. The figure was wearing a dark teal jacket, partially zipped, pillow tucked under his right arm. He stifled a yawn as he looked down on Jason with a singular lavender eye, the other one hidden behind a long, side swept bang: dark hair with frosted grey tips.

“Oh my God,” Jason whispers. “There’s no way. You’re…”

“A human trapped up here in the attic. Yes.” The figure nods. Jason notices the dimpling of black under his eyes, almost like bags, but seemed more akin to the horns on Mammon’s hands or Beelzebub’s cheeks.

“No,” Jason shakes his head. “No, no, no. You’re _not_ human.”

“And who are you to say?” Their face tightened in anger.

“I’m to say because I saw your portrait,” Jason gulps hard. “You’re Belphegor. Avatar of Sloth. The twin of Beelzebub. The seventh brother.”

The figure fell silent. “So you know.”

“That means…” Jason grimaces. “This is why Lucifer didn’t want Tyz coming up these stairs. Oh my God. Oh my God!”

“Quiet down,” Belphegor puts a hand to his forehead. “Okay, yes, I’m Belphegor. Good job on you for sleuthing that out, genius.”

“No need to be so rude!”

“Whatever. What else do you know?”

“I…” Jason racks his brain for the rest of the information he knows. “You and Lucifer got into some sort of argument and then he sent you off to the human world?”

“That’s all true, except he locked me up here,” Belphegor wraps his hands pitifully around the bars of the door. “All because of that argument.”

“Oh my God,” Jason mumbles again. “And how long have you been up here? Ever since the start of the year?”

“Yep,” Belphegor nods.

“I’m… I’m sorry,” Jason comes closer to the door. “I might not really trust demons--especially not after this--but _nobody_ deserves that.” Jason pauses, thinking. “Is there any way I can help?”

“I guess I have no choice if I want to get out of here,” Belphegor puts his face closer to the door. “Lucifer sealed this door with a powerful hex. Only the power of all six of my brothers can open it.”

“How do I get the power of six demon brothers under my belt?”

“Pacts.” Belphegor’s stare intensifies. “You’ll need to make pacts with all of my brothers.”

“And… what does a _pact_ entail?” Jason inches closer to listen to Belphegor.

“It’s like an agreement,” Belphegor explains. “They’d be indebted to your control. If a demon makes a pact with you, they must obey you.”

“Obey me,” Jason echoes.

“Yes,” Belphegor nods.

“Alright,” Jason furrows his brows, staring back at Belphegor. “Listen, nobody deserves this kind of treatment, no matter what you did. If anything. I think you deserve to get out of there.”

“I appreciate it,” Belphegor smiles gently. “Thank you.”

“I better get going,” Jason checks his pocket watch. “Lucifer’s got a curfew, and who knows if he’s gonna check tonight.”

“Good luck,” Belphegor waves. “Don’t forget about me, okay?”

“I won’t,” Jason waves back before making the trek back down the stairs, watching behind him as the door seems to fade away into the wall again. He quietly makes his way down, hoping Lucifer won’t be waiting for him. Luckily, he wasn’t, and Jason scampered back to his room, cleaning himself up and tucking into bed.

This was a lot to handle for one night. Jason would have to work hard to remember everything.

* * *

The next day, after breakfast and morning classes, Jason takes closer note of what’s happening in his afternoon classes. With two in the morning, plus three in the afternoon, Jason had a schedule of five classes per day. The class directly after lunch was some sort of science class. What it encapsulated was totally unknown to Jason, as he could barely follow along. Whatever they had going on in the science field in the Devildom was far different from what he had learned. Except for chemicals and particles, those seemed to be the same. Thank God. Jason somehow got Beelzebub as a lab partner in this science class, so he often relied on the brother for help with assignments, which he was glad to give (sometimes in trade for a snack, but still a good trade, nonetheless).

The next class was some sort of history class, but it was oriented to the history of the human world. What luck. Jason’s experience in the art world gave him a pretty wide scope regarding human history. Art and the historical process of the world are so directly interwoven that it wasn’t even funny to him, and he’d gladly go on a tangent about how advancements in the art world and society correlated heavily with each other. He got a seat next to Asmodeus in this class, who would often beg Jason for help (to varying levels of success, mostly good--Jason was easily swayed by someone in need, even a demon).

The final class actually changed once a week. Asmodeus explained this to him as he dragged him off to another classroom.

“You see, once a week, we have… tadaah! Dance class!” He excitedly pointed out the large ballroom floor, behind large, wooden doors. “We demons are very physical creatures. The dance class is something new implemented to help us get out all our extra energy once a week. Switches off so everybody gets a chance!” Asmodeus takes Jason in with him, holding him tight by the hand.

“So like, was there something before the dance class?”

“Nope,” Asmodeus looks down at Jason. “We used to just attack each other!” He giggles gleefully.

“Haha!” Jason laughs, thinking it’s a joke. It was not.

“Line up,” a larger demon in gym shorts and a tank top waves a finger around. In his other hand, he holds a clipboard. “Get going.”

“Come on! You’ll be on my team!” Asmodeus pulls Jason along.

“Wait, wait! What kind of dancing is this? Like, is it classical? Contemporary? Gimme some help here!” Jason skitters alongside him.

“Just dance!" The two line up and watch as another pair of demons form across from them.

“I only know how to dance with another person, though! Not on my own!” Jason looks over to a demon behind a piano, prepping the stand with sheet music, bringing in some brass to add a bit of punch.

“Then take my hand, my love, and let’s dance!”

The music starts with a quick and rolling tempo, trumpets coming in intermittently to add some lower notes with fullness. Asmodeus quickly grabs Jason, one hand on his hip, the other pulling his right hand out to the side. Despite the height difference, he made it work, stepping in a fast rhythm with the tune. Jason soon followed, matching his movements, the two of them in a sort of trance with the other; a human seemingly enamored with a demon of desire, and said demon quickly falling in a different sense for the human. Asmodeus mouthed something to Jason, and Jason let instinct from years of dancing at performances kick in. He let Asmodeus pull out further from him, hands still connected, then jerked to pull him back, turning him, and dipping him in his arms. Asmodeus was shocked at Jason’s ability to hold him up, but he held on tight. They locked eyes for what felt like an eternity as the song came to a rolling end, ebony keys quietly tiptoeing away from the sound of the room. It felt silent, until the duo snapped back to reality with the sound of the coach telling students to switch out and shoes tapping across the floor.

“Oh my, that was…” Asmodeus started, pulling himself up from the dipped position. “That was… _incredible!_ You didn’t tell me you were so good at dancing, dearest!” He quickly scoops Jason up in his arms in a tight hug, bodies pressed together and sharing the warmth.

“I-it’s not much,” Jason squirms, embarrassed by the praise. “I just know a little bit.”

“I’m so glad you’re my partner,” Asmodeus drawls, pulling Jason’s face closer to his.

“Lovebirds, break it up, go switch out,” the coach shouts. Jason feels his whole face go hot and pushes off from Asmodeus, who giggles at the whole affair.

Dinner that night seemed to pass by slower than usual. Jason wondered what made it feel so off, until he realized what it was; Beelzebub had only eaten one plate of food, and picked at his second, as if he had no appetite left. For the Avatar of Gluttony, he sure hadn’t been eating much.

“Beelzebub, are you feeling okay?” Jason looked over at him, with worry on his face. “You know it’s okay to eat.”

“I’m just not hungry,” Beelzebub quickly says.

“It’s okay, Beel, you don’t have to have more if you’re not hungry,” Tyz reassures him. Jason notices the look of concern on their face. A face that’s hiding a secret.

“Are ya sick?” Mammon looks up from his plate, pointing an accusatory fork at his brother.

“No,” Beelzebub replies.

“Is the food bad?” Asked Leviathan, who was apparently on dinner duty that night. “Sorry I couldn’t please your normie palate.”

“It’s fine.” Beelzebub scratches the back of his neck.

“You could get something else,” Satan adds.

“I’m good.” Beelzebub looks around, wide-eyed.

“Beelzebub, it’s okay if you’re not feeling well.” Lucifer turns his attention to the youngest at the table, worry painting his face. “You’re excused if you must go.”

“You know what, I think I will go, I’m not feeling too well all of a sudden,” Beelzebub spits out, grabbing the plate and standing. “I’ll take this up with me, though, in case I get hungry later.” His stomach gurgles. “Okay, bye!” He quickly walks out of the dining hall, assumedly back to his room.

“Poor Beel,” Asmodeus coos. “I feel bad for my little brother.”

“Something’s totally up! Don’cha agree, Tyz?” Mammon elbows Tyz.

“Nope. He’s probably just not well. Anyways, I’m full too. I’m gonna go and make sure Beel is alright.” Tyz quickly stands and nods to the table members, walking off as well.

“Curious,” Lucifer comments.

The other brothers and humans soon retire from dinner and return to their rooms. Jason feels particularly tired this evening, so he cleans up and gets into nightwear as soon as he returns to his room. He uses the extra time he has to look into the leatherbound book some more. It was just a little _too_ mysterious for his tastes. He finds it again in his cabinet, taking it out and tossing it on the table. He turns to search for pens and pencils in his bag, but notices a faint crinkling noise coming from behind him. Like paper. He almost turns, but ignores it, until it happens again. He walks over to his desk and looks at the book.

“My God.”

The book seemed to have a faint glow about it, as if it were emitting its own light, or like a ray of shine was coming from the heavens themselves to illuminate it. The book’s cover gently flipped open, making a small tap upon the desk, before the pages began to wildly flip to different parts of the book. Jason could catch few words from the frantic shuffling, but what pieces he did catch were certainly verses. _O shining one, son of the dawn…_ and then another, _knowing to do good, and not doing, sin it is to him…_ and one last one, _a wise son…_ before it cut off to a set of blank pages. Thankfully, Jason was a quick reader, or he wouldn’t have caught any of these.

Yes, the pages were most certainly blank. The book still gave off its glow, and upon touching the page, Jason noticed it felt warm, like a body. Eerily so. The pages shiver, and upon further inspection, ink starts to appear on the page. It’s faint at first, but grows darker as it sets in, before Jason can make out a word.

_Hello._

It’s as simple as that.

“Oh, God. So somebody slipped a cursed book into my bag, too?” He shakes his head. “I was doomed from the moment I got that phone call, huh? Why me, God? Why me?”

_You know, I can hear you._

The pages make scratching noises, as if someone’s writing on them with an invisible well pen. Jason looks over at the page, and shamefully looks away.

“No way. I’m getting punked.”

_You are not getting “punked”; I can assure you that much._

“I’m literally having a conversation with a book. How can things possibly get worse?”

_Would it reassure you to know I am an angel?_

“Absolutely not,” Jason panics, closing the book quickly. He ponders for a moment before slowly opening it back up. The words are still on the page, but slowly dissipate and form new words.

_Why not?_

“I just don’t know. You know, this is my very first week here in Hell, and I’ve had to deal with so much. A cursed book is expected, but not desired!”

 _I see._ The paper continues. _This is less a “cursed book” and more of an ensorcelled volume._

“You said the same thing with prettier words.”

 _Perhaps._ It pauses. _Human, I wish to be your guardian while you remain here in the Realm of Devils._

“Trust me, you don’t wanna be looking after a guy like me,” Jason scoffs.

_Why not?_

“Where do I even start?” He laughs. “I’m no model man of faith. I can make every claim I want that I follow my family’s religion, passed down to me, but I don’t. I’m sinful. I’m crude. I take the name in vain whenever I feel like it. I’m literally in Hell right now, sleeping in the same rooms as the personifications, or, I guess, demonifications of sins! The seven deadly ones!” He laughs harder, shocked at the absurdity of it all. “So what, now my ass is gonna get flayed by an angel trapped in a cursed book that was slipped into my suitcase?! Do it, buddy. I get it. I’m not gonna be standing next to God anytime soon, or anytime later, for that matter.”

 _I am very sorry. But you need not be afraid._ The words pause before inking again. _We see all but do not judge._

“What?” Jason picks up the book, carefully reading over the words that appeared. “What do you mean?”

_There is nothing to judge; you are a humble man, concerned about your placement in the world, when you need not worry._

“I have every right to worry,” Jason sighs. “Everything we’re taught about God, we’re said to fear Him, but also love Him. And that he has every reason to be against _us,_ but _isn’t,_ and he loves us very much. I really don’t think He’s doing anything, if you ask me.”

_Ask me anything, human. I am listening._

“Okay.” He breathes, thinking of what he wants to say to the angel-book. “Is residing next to God a puritan, unattainable standard, or is it as simple as survival when it comes to the average man like me? If the first, what is the point, and if the second, _what is the point?_ What’s the point of it all?”

 _Oh my._ The words pause before continuing. _You’ve been thinking a lot about this, haven’t you?_

“Yes!” He shouts. “I mean, yes.” He quiets down.

 _What if I told you everyone’s connection to this realm is as personal as you are? Whoever you choose to follow--be it God, angels, someone else entirely--it is all up to you, it is not up to the choices of the people around you. Though, if you do choose to follow along with a community, that is a shared connection. It is quite beautiful to watch._ The words stop, and Jason swears he hears a pen dropping gently on the table. _I understand your hesitation. Do not worry. I have been watching over you ever since you arrived in the Realm of Devils._

“You mean Hell.” Jason smiles.

 _Yes, I do._ Pause. _I wish I could laugh, but I cannot laugh._

“Same problem over text. Some people just put LOL.”

_Yes. I will do that. LOL. I am laughing out loud._

“You’re funny. What’s your name?”

_You may call me Azazel._

“That’s a pretty name.”

_Many thanks, dear human. I know your name already; Jason, isn’t it?_

“That’s me. So. Are you like, stuck in the book, or is this some sort of angel-distance-communication-thingy?”

_I am both a part of this volume and still residing in the Realm of Angels. Or, as you may know it, the Celestial Realm. Please turn to the final page of this tome._

Jason does so, and on the back cover, he finds a pearly-white feather etched into the fabric. He touches it. It’s soft, softer than anything Jason’s ever touched, and it’s warm, again, like a body. He flips back towards the middle.

_That tickled._

“Heh. Sorry,” Jason rubs the back of his head sheepishly. “When I see something pretty, I wanna touch it.”

_I am glad my feather was beautiful to you. I am very honored, human._

“You’re really nice.”

_Kindness is a virtue._

“I need some advice.”

_Anything you need._

“So.” Jason gathers his thoughts. “I’m here in Hell, with demons, and they’ve got… well, issues. It’s bad. I…” He pauses. “One of them needs help, and I think the others do, too. But I feel like I’m doing a disservice, helping the literal paragons of sin. These demons. Ugh! It’s hard and weird and I don’t like it.” He presses a hand to his forehead. “How do I do something _good_ for creatures that are meant to represent all the _bad?”_

 _Your heart is kind and full of love; I can feel it even from the distance between us._ The words pause before continuing. _I know you want to help. You are doing no disservice to your faith; if anything, you are doing the right thing by wanting to help. And I do believe your presence is helping already. You and your friend. Despite your outward abrasiveness, I know you have your moments of sincerity and truth. That is the real you. You are afraid. It is okay to be afraid. Breathe and remember that you are doing the right thing._

Jason’s face fades to a frown. He hasn’t been truthful to himself. He’s been rude to these demons on the pretense that if he _wasn’t,_ they’d kill him immediately for his foolishness.

_And you already know how to repair this--look inside yourself. Let your true self be known._

“I’m not ready for that yet,” Jason frowns harder. “I’m not.”

_You are._

“You know what, Mr. Angel? Everyone always tells me I’m ready but never asks whether _I_ feel ready or not. I’ll take your advice, put it in my back pocket, and consider it _later_ when I actually feel like I can stay alive here.”

 _I understand. Goodbye then._ The ink fades from the pages, leaving blank spots, not a trace left of the writing that was previously there.

“Jeez,” Jason says, grabbing up the book and tossing it back in the drawer. “Can’t even have a normal book, can I? Whatever. Bedtime.”

Jason shuts off the lights in his room and crawls into bed, not bothering to check his phone for any texts, just feeling so exhausted from the entire week. It was Friday. Jason reached over on his bedside table and shut off the alarm, yawning hard.

A few hours pass, and Lucifer passes by outside Jason’s door. He knocks once, twice, softly. There is no response. “I’m coming in,” Lucifer says, grabbing his ring of keys and opening the door.

Lucifer’s eyes quickly adjust to the dark of Jason’s room, eyes aglow in the midst of it all. Jason was fast asleep, small body rising and falling with the rhythms of his breath.

“Oh,” Lucifer sighs, putting a hand to his chest and smiling. “How… cute.” He walks over, looking over Jason. He gingerly takes a bit of the quilt on Jason’s bed and helps pull it over him so he doesn’t get cold before turning and quickly leaving. There were plenty more students to check in on, to make sure none were breaking curfew.

* * *

“We’re so screwed,” Tyz mumbles.

“I know,” Beelzebub squirms. “We’re in big, big trouble if Lucifer finds out we’ve been keeping Luke in here.”

Tyz and Beelzebub had been sticking together in the same room for a few days now, after the kitchen incident. Luke had come to Tyz in a time of need, asking for a place to sleep for the night, after some little argument or some such of his own. Right now, the three were scrambling, now painfully aware Lucifer was pulling a surprise inspection to make sure nobody was out past curfew.

“I could transform into an animal!” Luke offers.

“Lucifer would find you almost instantly,” Beelzebub grimaces.

A firm knocking comes to the door. “Beelzebub. Tyz. I’m coming in.” It’s Lucifer.

“Wait just a minute, please?” Tyz begs him. “I’m, um, I’m indecent!”

“In front of Beelzebub? Tyz, please.” Lucifer sighs with weight in his breath.

“Quick, hide!” Beelzebub makes the rapid decision to shove Luke in his wardrobe.

“Your jackets smell like cheese and oil,” Luke gags.

“Shh!” Both Tyz and Beelzebub shush the young angel, who immediately clams up as the doors are shut on him.

Luke folds his hands together and starts to pray. “Dear Father who art in Heaven, give mercy on a poor angel’s soul, send me to salvation where I can be free, Amen…”

Lucifer opens the door to the wardrobe, revealing nothing but Beelzebub’s jackets. “Hm. I thought you two were talking to someone else here.”

“No, sir,” Tyz sighs, internally panicking.

“Alright then,” Lucifer shoots a sideyed glare at the two of them before swiftly stepping out of their room. “Goodnight.”

Tyz and Beelzebub watch the door close, then look in the wardrobe again, pushing back the coats to see if Luke hid behind them.

“We lost Luke,” Tyz wrings their hands.

“Oh no,” Beelzebub whines.

* * *

Jason is awoken in his room by a thump. He flips on his bedside lamp and wanders towards the source of the sound to investigate, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He opens his closet door, wondering if an outfit fell off its hanger.

In the closet stood none other than Luke, the young angel he fondly remembered meeting on his first day in school.

“Jason!” Luke squeaks, running to him and hugging him tight.

Jason can hardly believe it.

_Dear God… can you make my visit here any more strange?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> augh (my wrists hurt)


	3. Seven Deadly Sins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The ghost of the generous poet replied: ‘If I have understood your words correctly, your spirit is attacked by cowardly fear, that often weighs men down, so that it deflects them from honourable action, like a creature seeing phantoms in the dusk. That you may shake off this dread yourself, I will tell you why I came, and what I heard at the first moment when I took pity on you."
> 
> New situations begin to arise between the humans and the demons.

“So that’s what happened.”

It was a strange situation. Luke had suddenly ended up in Jason’s closet, with no prior indication that he would suddenly appear there, like a ghost. The circumstance was explained quickly to Jason, who accepted that this might as well be happening. Because this sounds like some exact bullshit that Tyz would get looped into, only for Jason to get looped in it, as well. Here Luke was. He had a little argument, got embarrassed, and ran off.

“And of all the places to go, you picked here?” Jason yawned, rubbing his eyes. He wasn’t going to be sleeping anytime soon, clearly.

“Where else was I supposed to go?!” Luke quietly squealed. “I knew Tyz was here in the House of Lamentation, and I knew I could trust them!”

“My God,” Jason pinches the bridge of his nose. “Did you think about, like… cooling off in your room for the night? Instead of running across the campus just to get here?”

“Hmph,” Luke pouts. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“You’re right, I don’t.” Jason folds his arms. “What I  _ do  _ understand is if you’re caught hanging around in here, you’re dead meat.”

“I know, I know!” Luke stomps his little feet.

“You’re gonna stay in my room for the night, and tomorrow morning, I’m sneaking you back out. Okay? Okay.” Jason had no tolerance for B.S. when he was tired.

“Okay,” Luke says.

“Silly demons sleeping in king size beds,” Jason mutters on his way back to bed. “King sized beds for king sized attitudes. There’s enough room for two of us, and I’m little in the first place, so you’re lucky.”

“Jason, I owe you one!” Luke smiles and crawls into the bed, curling up under the blankets. It was cute. Jason noticed how his body gave off a faint glow, much like Simeon did, and much like the mysterious tome does.

“‘Night, then,” Jason says, covering up on the opposite side and promptly falling back asleep from exhaustion.

The next morning, Jason awakes to an empty bed. Where did Luke run off to? Hopefully he didn’t try  _ leaving  _ on his own, that would be asking for trouble. Jason turns to his desk, and sees that Luke is sitting at the chair, pumping his little legs as he flips through none other than Jason’s cursed tome.

“Jason!” He squeaks, turning to look at the human. “You didn’t tell me you had an archangel’s manuscript!”

“What?” Jason had just woken up, and was still rubbing sleep from his eyes.

“It’s a magical book that holds the essence of an angel inside of it! Where did you get this?!” Luke bounds over to Jason with the book in hand.

“It was just in my case of things when I got here,” Jason stifled a yawn.

“You’re very lucky,” Luke traces a finger over the leather binding. “These are very rare. Angels usually don’t make these anymore because they’re very time-consuming.”

“Didn’t we say we were gonna get you out of here this morning?” Jason stretched his arms. “I’ll get dressed, then we’re going.”

“Okay, okay…” Luke puts the book back on the desk and sits politely in the chair. Jason is already in the bathroom and out of his shirt and shorts when someone comes a-knocking. What terrible luck he had.

“Jaaaasoooooonnnn!” That voice could only belong to Asmodeus. “I’m coming innnn!”

“No you’re not!” Jason shouts back at him, peeking out of the bathroom door, looking at Luke with panic in his eyes. He mouths for him to go hide, and Luke promptly scrambles for some hidden place. “I’m, uh, indecent!”

“That only makes me wanna come in moooooore!” Asmodeus teases. He rattles the doorknob. “Aw, you locked me out?”

“You know, sometimes I’m a  _ private man,  _ Asmodeus, I like my space!” Jason quickly slips on some fresh clothes for the morning, making sure that Luke is hidden. He’s nowhere to be seen.

“You’re lucky I always have a bobby pin!” The doorknob rattles again, and the door pops open. Jason is buckled over himself, panting from stress. “My, what have  _ you  _ been up to?”

“Intensive aerobics.” He reaches up and stretches his back. “Wow, what a workout.”

“This early in the morning,” Asmodeus flatly replies. “Uh-huh.”

“Yup,” Jason grins and gives him a thumbs up. “Okay, can you go away now? I’ve gotta get some stuff done.”

“Aw, come on…” Asmodeus whines. “I wanna spend time with you.”

“Later,” Jason sighs. “Later. We can hang out later. Cool? Cool.” He helps usher Asmodeus out of his room, shutting the door and locking it yet again once he’s left. “Okay, Luke. He’s gone.”

“Phew!” Luke pops his head out of Jason’s closet, running back over to him. “Demons. Awful, awful, awful!”

“I don’t think they’re  _ awful…”  _ Jason muses.

“You can’t ever trust them,” Luke grips Jason’s hand. “They’re here in the Devildom for a reason.”

Belphegor’s words echoed in Jason’s mind.  _ Lucifer sealed this door with a powerful hex. Only the power of all six of my brothers can open it.  _ Whether or not he could truly trust the demons was out the window. The goal now was to save Belphegor. He felt too much sympathy to just let him go and fend for himself. Jason bit his cheek and kept any comments about the morality of angels and demons to himself. Those thoughts would come back to bite him later, but for now, he let them settle like dust. “Let’s get you out of here. I’m gonna sneak around. We’re gonna avoid as many demons as possible, okay?”

“Okay.” Luke keeps close to Jason, holding his hand tighter. “Don’t let go.”

“Okay.” Jason opens the door and surveys the hallway for any demons. Empty. He quickly pulls Luke alongside him, keeping eyes peeled and ears open for any approaching entities.

* * *

“So, we can’t find Luke.” Tyz kicks their legs off the edge of the bed. Them and Beelzebub were in a bit of a mess, considering the bad situation that was last night. “He’s gotta be around here somewhere. He wouldn’t just up and disappear from the House, would he?”

“Probably not,” Beelzebub holds his stomach while nodding. “I’m hungry.”

“You’re gonna be no good on an empty stomach, are you?” Tyz looks over to him.

“No.” Beelzebub giggles.

“Let’s go,” Tyz sighs, gathering their things and walking alongside Beelzebub down to get some breakfast. They pull out their D.D.D. and text their friend.

**Hey**

**Going to get breakfast with Beel**

**You wanna come?**

**No**

**Busy**

**The hell are you busy with**

**At like 9 in the morning**

**Stuff**

**And things**

**…**

**Is Asmodeus stuff and things**

**NO**

**FUCK YOU**

**I’M …**

**IN THE BATHROOM**

**Jeez no need to be so aggressive**

**Alright well**

**Talk to you later**

**Yea whatever**

**END**

Jason was never really one to turn down an invitation to hang out, nor was he one to reply so shortly to Tyz. He generally had lots of things to say, even if Tyz didn’t have much to reply with. Something was up.

When the two arrived in the dining room, some of the other brothers were seated, having breakfast. Lucifer was enjoying a cup of coffee. Satan was settling with some tea. Mammon was slowly working away at his plate. The other brothers weren’t present--probably off already doing their own thing, or possibly sleeping in.

“Good morning, Tyz, Beelzebub,” Lucifer nods at the two as he brings his cup to his lips.

“Morning,” Tyz and Beelzebub reply.

As Beelzebub gathers up food for himself, Tyz sits down next to Mammon.

“You look tired as shit,” Mammon smirks. “What’samatter, didn’t ya sleep?”

“I couldn’t get a whole lot of sleeping done,” Tyz sighs.

“Oh,  _ really?”  _ Mammon takes on an accusatory tone. “And why not?”

“None of your business,” Tyz smiles. “You don’t need to worry about it.”

“Betcha Beel kept ya up with his incessant munching and crunching,” Mammon huffs, going back to his plate.

“Tyz, have you seen Jason yet this morning?” Satan looks over to them.

“Usually he doesn’t get up this early anyways, but I think he was busy with something.” Tyz props their elbows on the table, face in their hands.

“Oh,” Satan looks back to his cup of tea.

* * *

“There’s gotta be a backdoor somewhere,” Jason muses. Luke is practically attached to his body, gripping tight to his jeans, body half hidden under his leather jacket. “I mean, you go through the front, you let in a draft, everyone gets suspicious. Y’get what I’m thinking?”

“Sure, sure,” Luke stays close.

“Gotta be past here or some…” Jason trails off.

“What?” Luke peers up at him.

“Hide,” Jason pushes Luke off behind a pedestal. A door creaks open, almost on command, to reveal a demon emerging from his room. Luke stays still as stone.

“Who daaares disturb my slumber,” the demon groans. It’s Leviathan, the one demon Jason had scarcely--actually,  _ never  _ seen in any of his classes. He yawns, baring large, viper-like fangs, opening his mouth a little wider than should be possible. Oh,  _ gross. _

“Sorry,” Jason apologizes on instinct.

“Oh. It’s you.” Leviathan snarls his lip, glaring down at Jason. “The human.”

“What’s Tyz, chopped liver?”

“Tyz is actually  _ my  _ bestie.” Leviathan turns to Jason, folding his arms. Luke remains hidden behind the pedestal. “So they’re a little more than a human. But you? You’re most  _ definitely  _ a human. Absolute normie  _ scum.  _ You just wouldn’t get them like I do.”

“That’s really funny because I’ve known them for nearly a year now,” Jason grins, shoving his hands in his pockets. “We talk about everything together.”

“Nuh-uh!” Leviathan stomps one of his feet on the ground. “Sssssso not true.” He definitely hissed.

“It’s true,” Jason continues smiling, reminiscing on good memories with their best friend. “But we can both be their best friend. Nobody ever said they were chained to me or you.” He looks over to Luke quickly, making sure he’s still there. “And besides, if you’re best friends with Tyz, then you two must have some stuff in common. So I think  _ we  _ could be friends, too.” Might as well try to gain the trust of some demons, right?

“No!” Leviathan snaps. “Those things are for  _ me and Tyz  _ to enjoy. Us only. Not you. Not normie scum. Grr!” Leviathan shivers with errant jealousy. “You two are  _ so  _ not best friends. There’s no way! They’re closer to the otaku way than you’ll  _ ever  _ be! I bet you can’t name five anime off the top of your head!”

“Actually, I can,” Jason pulls his hands out of his pockets to count.  _ “Quarter Plastic Chemist: Superstar, Sakamoto’s Academy Cabaret Club--” _

“No, those don’t count!” Leviathan shakes his head quickly. “Those ones are on the top ten of all time list!”

“Okay.  _ Gokudo Path, Fuzzy Basketcase--” _

“Tch!” Leviathan snorts. “Whatever! Out of my way, normie!” He spat the last word, as if being considered a  _ normie  _ was an insult. Jason stepped out of the way, and watched him storm off. He waited until Leviathan was off behind the corner to motion for Luke to come back out. He skittered out, shoes quietly tapping against the floor, gripping onto Jason’s side again.

“That,” he pants, “was scary.”

“I hardly see Leviathan. Ever.” Jason keeps Luke close as they continue on their way to a back door. “He doesn’t seem to go to any of my classes. It’s weird. I feel like I should get to know him, but he’s so dodgy.”

“Why would you ever want to get to know a  _ demon?”  _ Luke said the last word with such disgust that Jason knew he didn’t want an answer, even if he had a perfectly reasonable explanation. He kept it to himself. Something told Jason that Luke was at the human equivalent age where he wouldn’t really listen.

The two eventually came to a back door that led to the courtyard. Jason opened it and let Luke through first, following close behind. The fresh air was cold and welcome on Jason’s warm skin. Luke shivered, not yet used to how cold the Devildom was.

“Jason,” Luke tightly hugs the human, “I owe you one.”

“It’s okay. Just get going, alright? I’m probably under suspicion.” Jason waves Luke off. “Go on.”

“Hang on,” Luke says, pulling off his jacket. Jason is confused, until from his shirt Luke sprouts two small, silvery-white wings, fluttering them gently. He reaches into the right wing, plucking a stray feather from it, and he hands it to Jason. “Here. It’s the least I can do!”

“Thanks,” says Jason, not really understanding the significance of an angel’s feather.

“Okay, I’ll go! Be safe! Blessed travels!” Luke waves to Jason before running and jumping quickly, flapping his tiny wings hard to get back to his dormitory quicker. Jason watches his little body disappear quick into the sky, off to return to his angel friend. Crisis averted.

Jason slowly walks down the hallway, deciding to do a little exploring before visiting the dining room--he wasn’t hungry just yet. He visited the front hall, taking in all of the things he didn’t get a chance to see when he was first rushed in a week ago, including the giant stone gargoyles which guarded the main hall. One thing he didn’t happen to notice before was a small dollhouse, styled exactly like the House of Lamentation.

“Oh, that’s so  _ cute,”  _ Jason muses. He was easily wooed by cute things. Jason collected little trinkets and statues, on the virtue that they were  _ cute,  _ and he liked them. A little dollhouse that showed the House of Lamentation in itty-bitty glory? Oh yeah, that was cute. He approached it, looking inside at all of the rooms. He could point out his and Tyz’s rooms, and Lucifer’s room, too, along with the dining room and the kitchen. There were other rooms he didn’t recognize, though, that most likely belonged to the other brothers. Each little room was decorated with impossibly detailed furniture, down to the fabrics on couches and bed sheets. This wasn’t just cute--it was immaculately designed. There was one room, however, that seemed to be dusty, unused, the furniture covered in white sheets to protect it from damage.

“Hey.” A deep voice rumbles through the open hall. It’s Beelzebub, one hand in a bag of chips, munching away gleefully, even though he probably just had breakfast.

“Oh, hey, Beelzebub. You ever seen this tiny dollhouse?” Jason looks over at him, pointing at the little thing. Beelzebub walks over and squats low to see the dollhouse.

“I have. But I never really looked at it for long.” He smiles. “There’s my room.” He points out a room, mostly purple with some accents of orange, with two beds. Jason immediately understood that he used to share the room with Belphegor. “That’s Mammon’s room.” He points up to a steely looking room, with a couple of small-model cars in it. “He does actually have cars in there.”

“Can he even drive?”

“Sort of.” Beelzebub snorts. “There’s Levi’s room.” It had a tiny glass wall, filled with resin in a way that made it look like it was filled with water. A tiny aquarium. “And that’s Asmo’s room.” A beautiful room, straight out of a fairy tale, doused in pale pink. “There’s Satan’s.” It was filled to the brim with books.

“Wow,” Jason said, impressed by the detail. Every room gave some sort of insight to the nature of the demons. Your room was an extension of your self. Jason’s room at home had plush animals and figurines stacked on shelves. That told you everything you needed to know about him. “So what room is that?”

“Huh,” Beelzebub tilted his head. “I don’t know. I know where it would be, though. Wanna go see?”

“Sure.”

And with that, Beelzebub stood back up, and started a trek up the stairs and down the hall with Jason. As they walked, Jason tried to make conversation with the demon, who had moved on from the now empty bag of chips to a large chocolate bar.

“We haven’t gotten to talk much,” Jason comments, walking on Beelzebub’s left.

“Mm,” Beelzebub hums, munching on the candy. “We haven’t really gotten the  _ chance  _ to.”

“We’re in that science-y class together.”

“We are.”

“We could talk then.”

“But aren’t we working then?”

“We could talk a little  _ while  _ we work, is what I mean.”

“Oh.”

“I mean. Like. We just haven’t found things to talk about.” Jason wanted to get close to Beelzebub. Despite being the first one Jason saw in his most primal, unhinged form, Jason trusted him as a rational-thinking demon, especially after he saved him from slaughter at lunch. And he’d  _ have  _ to get close to Beelzebub, anyways--the brothers were the key to setting his twin free. “Like… what do you like to do in your free time?”

“Eat.” Beelzebub finished off the candy bar, stuffing the wrapper in his pocket (hopefully for later disposal) and licking off his fingers. His tongue was a bit long, gross, and fleshy. Like a fly, with that weird proboscis thing going on.

“You gotta do more than just  _ eat,”  _ Jason scoffs. “Like… do you have any hobbies? You like to read, write? Draw? Play games?”

“Oh. I work out.”

“You work out?”

“Yeah. I play sports, too.”

“What sports?”

“Fangol, mostly.” It felt like the two were walking completely out of time and space, like they were having this conversation in some lapse of the fabric of reality. That was okay with the two of them.

“What’s Fangol?”

“Kick a ball. Toss a ball. Get to the goal. Get more points than the other team.”

“Sounds like a lot of sports.”

“Most sports are about kicking or throwing balls.”

“I can only think of one that  _ doesn’t  _ have a ball, and that’s badminton.” Jason thought about badminton. It was a silly sport where you hit around this little half ball, half wire looking thing, called a shuttlecock.

“What’s badminton?”

“It’s like tennis, but with a funny little dude instead of a ball.”

“What’s tennis?”

“You hit a ball with a racket over a net and try to get the most points.”

“Wow.” Beelzebub imagined two humans hitting a very tiny human in protective gear over a net with rackets. “That’s crazy.”

“Sure.”

“We’re here.” Beelzebub stops at an expanse of wallpaper in the hallway.

“You’d think there’d be a door.” Jason looks at the wall, partially trying to see if there was a peeled up section, like there was up in the attic. There it was, just a small section. He pointed at it. “There.”

“Hm? Oh. Should I pull it?” Beelzebub reaches a tentative hand to the tear, before Jason nods his head, and he pulls at it. It comes undone, revealing a block of ancient lettering that Jason couldn’t recognize for the life of him.

“I can’t read it.”

“It’s in a Celestial language.” Beelzebub leans closer, reading the text. “When the morning star dwelt in the heavens, its light shone down upon this one, sparkling brilliantly, the eighth of the eight.”

“Lucifer,” Jason mutters under his breath.

“You’re right,” Beelzebub replies. “The  _ morning star  _ is another name for Lucifer.”

“Venus.”

“Okay, now you’re not making any sense. But it’s a  _ riddle.  _ That first line, it’s about when Lucifer was an angel. That second line, the eighth child of eight, our sister.” His expression steels. “Her name was  **Lilith** .”

And with that, not only did Jason gain more information about the seven brothers in just a few sentences from Beelzebub’s musings, but the wall seemed to give way, piece by piece, in an array of light.

“Let’s go,” Beelzebub stands, leading the way. Jason follows close behind him, stepping into the indefinite brightness before them.

Soon, the wall closes behind them, shutting them away in a room that was an identical, scaled-up version of the one Jason and Beelzebub saw in the dollhouse. Pale green furniture was covered in crisp, white sheets, untouched by the hand of time, seemingly as clean as they might have been when they were first placed there. Jason felt like he shouldn’t be here, as if he were intruding on a holy place. He watched his step, keeping to one place on the hardwood floor, observing the paintings hung on the wall--pieces he recognized, Ruysch, Degas. A gentle ray of light came in from the parted curtains, even though there was no sun in the Devildom. It must have been simulated.

“I… I know this place.” Beelzebub steps in further, tracing a large yet tender hand over the sheets covering the bed and chairs. “It’s Lilith’s room, from back up in the Celestial Realm. I’m sure of it. What’s it doing  **here,** in the House of Lamentation…?”

“You know, Beelzebub,” Jason says, turning away slightly from him, “I feel like I shouldn’t be here. I feel like… this is a private thing.”

“What do you mean?” Beelzebub turns back to the young man, staring him down.

“There’s, like… a  _ reason  _ I haven’t heard about Lilith until now. Half of that is because I haven’t been here for very long, but also… if she’s y’all’s younger sister,” Jason shoves his hands in his pockets, “how come she hasn’t come up?”

“It’s okay,” Beelzebub’s face seemed to droop down. “I’m okay… with telling you.”

“Why me? I haven’t even known you that long. You’ve known Tyz longer. Shit, Beelzebub,” Jason flushes. “Tyz is sleeping in  _ your  _ room.” He scrapes a shoe on the floor. “I feel like… the whole time I’ve been here, I’ve been intruding.”

“You’re not.” Beelzebub flattens one of the sheets out, so it’s without wrinkles. He runs a thumb over the smooth fabric. “Some things… well, some things, you talk to certain people about. I could tell Tyz about these things, if they were here. But right now, they’re not. It’s you.”

“Then is it okay if I ask about Lilith?” Jason turns back to look at Beelzebub.

“Lilith was our little sister.” Beelzebub stands in the middle of the room, bringing his hands to his chest, tracing over the bracelets on his left. “But she’s gone now.” His eyebrows furrow.

“Gone?”

“She died.” Beelzebub’s lower lip trembles. “In the Great Celestial War.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard about that,” Jason steps a little closer to him.

“My brothers and I used to be angels,” he keeps a tight hand over the bracelets. “That was back before the Great Celestial War--before we were cast out.”

“Cast out?”

“Lucifer incited a revolution against Father, and we aligned ourselves with him. Those who followed Father fought against those who followed Lucifer.  _ That  _ was the Great Celestial War.” He continues. “In the end, Father crushed our rebellion, and cast us out of the Celestial Realm.”

“Oh my God.” Jason gives him room, but is prepared to step in if necessary.

“During the battle, Lilith’s wing was pierced by an arrow. Both Belphie and I saw it. It happened right in front of our eyes…” Beelzebub’s eyes seem distant, glassy with the memories of her. “She fell down out of the heavens and… died.”

“I’m so sorry, Beelzebub.”

“Just before she was shot, I saw angels from the opposing side draw their bows and aim at both her and Belphie.” His brows furrow in frustration and sorrow. “I couldn’t save them both… the three of us were too far apart. I knew I’d only be able to get to one of them in time.” He sighs. “Then suddenly Belphie’s eyes met mine… and just like that, I rushed over to him and shielded him from the attack.”

“So that means…”

“Yeah. I wasn’t able to save Lilith.” His lower lip trembles again, and Jason swore he saw the faint outline of a tear roll down his soft cheek. “She died, and it was my fault.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Beelzebub. There was nothing you could have done.”

“Everyone tells me that.” His expression becomes serious again.  _ “You couldn’t help it,  _ that’s what they all say. But none of them saw what I saw.” The corners of his lips quiver with despair. “They didn’t see how she looked at me as the arrow pierced her wing. That look of  **desolation.”**

“I wish I knew what to say.” Jason watches his expression for some change.

“Belphie hasn’t ever come out and said it, but I think he blames  **me** for not being able to save Lilith. I know he wanted me to save her instead of him.” The room falls cold with Beelzebub’s self-blame. “In fact, I knew that at the time, but I chose to save him instead.”

“Beelzebub…” Jason doesn’t know if he’s allowed to comment.

“Jason, what would you have done?”

“What?”

“In my situation. Would you have saved Lilith, or Belphegor?”

“Who would I have saved?” Jason swallows hard, thinking. “I don’t know. I think I’d try to save them both, even if it put me at a greater risk of dying. But I can’t understand how you felt in that situation, and I probably never will. Whatever thought process led you to save your brother… it was your choice. You made the choice you saw as right at the time that happened.” Jason nodded. “I don’t think you should be so hard on yourself, Beelzebub.”

“Both.” He twiddles his fingers, before interweaving them on top of his stomach. “You’re pretty selfless.”

“I’m just saying what I’d do.” Jason smiles up at him. “In my book, the more people I can help, the better.” His phone buzzes in his pocket.

“You better answer that.”

Jason pulls it out, getting a call from Tyz. He motions to Beelzebub, and answers.

“Yello.”

“Jason.” Tyz sounds deathly serious. “How quickly can you get to the crypt?”

“There’s a  _ fucking crypt  _ here?” Jason silently hides his frustration by taking the phone away from his face, shaking his fists, and putting the phone back calmly.

“Yep. Get down here. Fast.” Tyz hangs up, leaving Jason and Beelzebub in the silence of Lilith’s old room.

“We better go,” Beelzebub says, leading the way out, with Jason following close behind.

He takes Jason down flights upon flights of stone-carved stairwells, the walls becoming darker and more lit with flame as they go. After many steps, they come to a large, enclosed hall: a crypt. Graves and candles lined the floor, along with some… atypical skeletal decor. Or maybe it was typical, considering it was a crypt. From one of the ribbed vaults hung a large, black chandelier. And there was the scene, set as any horror might be set.

Luke,  _ yes,  _ he had  _ returned,  _ he was standing, backed up against a set of stone by a large, imposing, black and red figure. Thick, black smoke exuded from the figure’s feet. And upon closer inspection, the figure had six black, feathered wings, along with a large, peacock-style tail, with golden accented “eyes”, with white and red centers. It wasn’t only a stunning display, it also breathed the bitter taste of pridefulness. When Jason looked up, he saw the same mahogany-toned face he had met when he first arrived at the Devildom--it was Lucifer, in a fully-fledged demonic form. His smile was wide and toothy, spreading from ear to ear, literally. Curved horns jutted out of both his head and his chest, close to his heart. He leaned over the cowering angel with malice dripping in his voice.  **“Do you realize what that is?”** His voice is licked with flames; there’s even smoke coming out of his nostrils, now. He’s beyond enraged. He’s about to explode.

“Y-you mean  **this** …?” Luke holds up the book. It’s bound tightly with brass locks and leather straps. It’s obviously not meant to be opened. “I found it a minute ago, the sculpture on the stone coffin there was holding it…”

“I know that book.” Beelzebub quietly gasps. The two approach to stand by the side of Tyz and Mammon. Mammon’s got an arm around Tyz, subconsciously protecting them.

“Jeez! Took ya two long enough to get down here!” Mammon scoffs at Beelzebub and Jason, motioning to the commotion just ahead.

“That’s a grimoire.” Beelzebub plainly drops the comment.

“Grimoire?” Tyz questions.

“It’s like, a book of the dead. They’re supposed to be really powerful,” Jason answers. “Probably not a good thing if it’s being held in this secret, scary crypt.”

“Definitely not,” Beelzebub nods. “That grimoire Luke is holding has the power to  **control a demon** \--to make them do  **anything,** even if it’s in violation of a pact.”

“Holy shit!” Jason mumbles.

“Everything we are rides on that book,” Beelzebub continues. “We can  **never** allow it to be stolen  **under any circumstances.** I didn’t realize Lucifer was hiding it here in the crypt.”

“Beel, get with the program! We ain’t here to gawk!” Mammon shouts. “Listen up, dog! What I wanna know is how you ended up in a place like this!”

“Luke, didn’t I…?” Jason motions over to the young angel.

“I-I’m sorry! I went into Beelzebub’s room because I thought I lost one of my tassels, and when I went into the closet again, I tumbled down here! And then--”

**“Beelzebub’s room?”** Lucifer’s voice thunders again. Claws scratch on the stone floor--they’re Lucifer’s  _ feet,  _ they’ve grown into horrid, bird-like abominations. “Did I hear that correctly? Did you just say the words  **Beelzebub’s room?”**

“This is bad,” Mammon mutters.

**“BEELZEBUB…!”** Lucifer roars, his unholy voice echoing through the tomb. His eyes leer to Beelzebub. The younger demon takes a few steps back, away from the group. Luke scampers over to Beelzebub, dropping the book, gripping onto his pants. “Were you  _ hiding  _ this angel in your  _ room?  _ Did you  **allow him access** to the House of Lamentation? This angel who would try to  **steal that grimoire** …?” His questions come from a place of wild, unchecked disgust, visceral and unable to be calmed. His clawed feet inch closer, filtering smoke away from them.  **“You two had better be ready to face the consequences,”** he growls, mouth snarling deep with rows upon rows of teeth.

Beelzebub shifts a step back. Luke gasps in shock. If Beelzebub’s true revealed form was scary, Lucifer’s was downright  _ frightening.  _ He was gigantic, imposing, and seemed like he could kill from a look alone. Tyz and Mammon were frozen in place, gripping onto each other. Jason felt his legs move faster than his mind could stop him. He placed himself in front of Luke and Beelzebub, closing his eyes and spreading his arms.

**“Out of the way, human,”** Lucifer booms.  **“Unless you wish to die here.”**

“Be careful what you wish for, Lucifer.” Jason tries to bite his tongue, but the words spill out. “A few years ago, I might have taken you up on that offer.”

“You audacious little  _ fluke,”  _ he spits, face inches away from Jason’s. “You’re a  _ louse,  _ is what you are. You’re not even the scum beneath my shoe. You’re  _ lower than low.  _ You’re  _ nothing,  _ human.”

“Jason, get out of the way!” Tyz shouts at him and tries to run off to get him, but Mammon holds them back, arms wrapped tight around their waist.

“Nuh uh!” Mammon pulls them close. “No way I’m losing you! He’ll  _ kill you,  _ for real!” Tyz squirms in his grasp, but gives up, knowing they’re no match for a demon’s power. And Mammon, for once, seemed to be acting outwardly kind, something rare for the Avatar of Greed. Tyz would appreciate it, if their best friend wasn’t in immediate danger.

“A human risking so much to defend a demon and an angel.” Lucifer’s glare pierces Jason’s soul.  **“How very interesting.”** He tilts Jason’s chin up with one clawed finger. “Well, if you want to be a hero, you’re going to have to choose one of them to save.” He looks behind Jason, at the angel and demon. “Beelzebub or Luke.”

“I…” Jason pulls away from Lucifer’s terrible touch. “I shouldn’t have to choose! You just need to  _ back off!  _ Get back!” He growls at Lucifer with all his might, despite now being half the demon’s height.

“It’s  **one or the other.** Make your choice!” Lucifer cocks his head and bares his teeth again.

“No! I can save  _ both!”  _ Jason stomps his foot at Lucifer.

“You foolish human  _ scum.”  _ His eyes light up with flame. “You think you can have whatever you want just because you  _ ask,  _ don’t you?”

“I’m not asking.” Jason stands his ground, despite feeling like he’s going to collapse at any moment. “I’m demanding.” His hands ball into fists, prepared to strike. “No more unhappy endings.”

**“Do you actually think I’m going to allow a lowly human that choice?!”** The room seems to ignite in flames, surrounding Lucifer in a ghastly red glow.  **“You think you can have whatever you WANT?! NO…!”** Lucifer reaches out, gripping Jason by the collar, pulling him into the air. Mammon and Tyz yelp from the sidelines, helpless to the unstoppable force that is Lucifer’s burning rage. Beelzebub and Luke look on with widened eyes, hopeless that the human will survive this blow. Jason winces and puts his arms up, in a feeble attempt to protect himself.

**“Lucifer.”** A voice bellows through the crypt, calling the demon’s name. Lucifer’s expression pales, wings drooping, dropping Jason to the ground with an unceremonious  _ thud.  _ The shock makes him pass out. Luke scrambles to get behind Beelzebub, who kneels down to Jason’s small body. Lucifer fully turns himself to the voice, as Tyz and Mammon rush over to the commotion of angel, demon, and human.

“Oh shit, oh God,” Tyz mumbles, looking over their friend for any injuries. “Oh, Jason. God.”

“Your frettin’ is makin’ me anxious,” Mammon grumbles, keeping a hand on Tyz’s shoulder.

“They can’t help it,” Beelzebub’s brows furrow. “Humans are  _ fragile,  _ unlike demons and angels. That little drop could have  _ killed  _ him.”

“Don’t remind me,” Tyz warbles, feeling Jason’s wrist for some sign of living. “He’s alive. Man. God!”

“I’m so sorry,” Luke continually apologizes. “I didn’t know. This is all my fault.”

“Luke, it’s alright.” Tyz looks over to the young angel. “Jason wouldn’t want you blaming yourself. But… you should probably get out of here.”

Meanwhile, Lucifer stares down his superior, Lord Diavolo. The Demon King’s expression is painted with a confused smile. “Lucifer? My little pet. What have you been  _ doing  _ down here?”

“Lord Diavolo,” Lucifer stutters, putting a hand to his chest. “I… this  _ angel  _ was down here, he was touching a  _ grimoire,  _ and apparently,  _ Beelzebub  _ let this angel stay in his room…!” Lucifer snarls. “I was delivering  _ punishment,  _ milord.”

“Seems to me like you were “delivering punishment” to some human who got tripped up in the middle of this mess,” Diavolo stands on his tiptoes, staying in a relatively human form, looking over Lucifer’s shoulder. “Is that the right way to represent the RAD Exchange Program, Luci?”

“...No, milord,” Lucifer casts away his look with shame, all four eyes pointing down to his red hands.

“What you’ve done has made me very upset, Lucifer. I expect you to report to my office immediately for retribution.”

“...Yes, milord,” Lucifer grits, knowing he can’t disobey.

“Good pet.” Diavolo smiles, but it’s laced with manic energy. “Ta-ta for now.” As Diavolo titters off, out of the crypt, Lucifer drags his clawed feet on the ground, following, partially against his will. He couldn’t disobey, even if he felt like he was in the right for what he did.

Tyz, Mammon, Beelzebub, and Luke watch him depart, leaving them in the smoky haze of the crypt with a passed out, and now drooling on the floor, Jason.

“Man,” Tyz frowns. “Lord Diavolo makes me feel funny. Lucifer… you don’t deserve to be in there.”

Beelzebub grunts and Mammon shrugs his shoulders with a blank expression on his face. They both feel something sour in their stomachs regarding Lord Diavolo, but nothing they could talk about, out of fear for the other.

“...Okay,” Tyz says, taking a deep breath and recollecting their thoughts. “Mammon, we’re going to take Luke back home.”

“What?! Why me?!” Mammon pouts, folding his arms.

“I feel safer with you around me.” Tyz turns to Beelzebub. “Beel, take Jason up to your room. Keep him safe. I’m counting on you, okay?”

“...Okay,” Beelzebub nods, gripping his bracelets, thumbing over the cool beads and textured threads to calm himself.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Mammon waves his hands. “D-did’ya just say ya feel safer with me around you?” He sputters. “W-what the Hell d’ya mean by that?!”

“Let’s go.” Tyz stands, grabbing Luke and Mammon, pulling them up with them. “Come on.” They lead the way out, tracing where Lucifer left. Luke follows close to Tyz, reaching up to hold their hand as they walk. Mammon shoves one hand in his jeans pocket, loosely hanging the other around Tyz’s shoulders, face deepened in value from embarrassment.

Beelzebub is left alone in the ashes with Jason, who is still lying on the ground. Beelzebub pushes a stray lock of Jason’s hair back from his forehead. He scoops him up by the back and knees with ease, holding him close. “I’ll keep you safe,” he whispers, slowly lumbering out of the tomb, and back into the main hall. “I promise.”

* * *

“Seriously, will ya  _ stop  _ pacin’ around the room?!” Mammon impatiently kicks his legs off the edge of his bed, flopping down onto the plush, grey comforter. “It’s stressin’ me! Stress is bad for the body, L’il T!”

“Did you just call me…  _ L’il T?”  _ Tyz stops in their tracks, turning to Mammon. They had been wandering around the room for a bit of time now, constantly checking their phone for any updates from Beelzebub, or maybe, hopefully, Jason. Nothing.

“N-nope! You totally misheard me, human.” Mammon shrugs it off, trying to deny the heat in his face.

“Whatever you say.” Tyz smiles for a moment, before remembering the predicament they’re in. They pace further, shoes clicking against Mammon’s tile floor.

“I’unno what you’re so worried about, Tyz. He’ll be  _ fine.  _ He made it this long!” Mammon props himself back up on his bed, looking at Tyz and rolling his eyes.

“He could have a concussion!” Tyz shakes their hands in the air, frustrated. “Jason is a human, just like me. You’d be fretting over me if I fell on my head like that.”

“No I wouldn’t,” Mammon lies through his teeth, knowing he absolutely  _ would,  _ and would bark at all his brothers to keep away,  _ especially  _ if Lucifer was the cause of injury. “But if ya keep worryin’ ‘bout him… he ain’t gettin’ better faster! So just… relax!” Mammon was  _ not  _ particularly good at calming down his friends and possible love interests. If only he could sort out how he felt towards the human.

“Mm,” Tyz whines. They stand in place, kicking their shoe on the ground, counting the tiles on the floor.

“Mm,” Mammon grunts. Ever since Tyz arrived in the Devildom, ever since he was assigned to take care of the  _ human,  _ to take care of the  _ exchange student,  _ to take care of the  _ one thing that he was sure his brothers blamed for their fall from grace,  _ ever since he set his beady little eyes on that  _ beautiful, handsome, incredible creature, surely crafted from the stars themselves for their radiance,  _ he knew he wanted them. But it was more than just greed; his feelings were more than just his denotation after his collapse. He felt something else he never felt before. Mammon didn’t understand the feeling of love. He didn’t understand why his heart felt tight and panicked around Tyz. He didn’t  _ get  _ why he held onto them so often, whenever necessary, and even sometimes when it was unneeded. He didn’t understand. He only followed his instinct, and his instinct, while not having the vernacular for  **love,** kept him close to Tyz.

Tyz sighs again, retiring to the bed with Mammon. They lay down next to him, the gap between them less than an inch. “You’re right. Worrying won’t make him better faster.” They look over to Mammon, whose face has considerably darkened with blush. “Are you okay?”

“I’m f-fine,” he stumbles, thinking about how close they are. So close, just one tiny movement, and their lips would meet in the center. He smiles, sharp-toothed and full of avarice.

“Whenever you get that look, you’re about to do something terrible.” Tyz giggles and touches his nose, watching it scrunch up with the touch.

“H-hey! Who said you can touch the Great Mammon?!” He yelps, pulling back. “I-I mean, you  _ can,  _ if you  _ want,  _ b-but! That doesn’t mean ya can just startle me like that!”

“Aw, sorry, Mammo.” Tyz turns and folds their hands under their head, looking up at the ceiling. “Man, those lights are bright.”

“I’ll turn ‘em off! I got the remote right here!” Mammon fumbles with the small remote from his front pocket, clicking a button a few times to dim the lights. The room was comfortably dark, enough that Tyz and Mammon could still see each other in their closeness, but that if somebody came in, they’d be totally oblivious to the presence. “T-there, lights off.”

“This is nice,” Tyz closes their eyes, enjoying just laying next to Mammon.

Mammon flushes at the compliment. “Well. Anything for such a loyal human.” He reaches over, patting Tyz’s head roughly. They smile. Mammon relieved their worries, even if just for a little bit.

* * *

Beelzebub sat on the couch, thumbing over the cool beads on his bracelet. He remembered when and why he made those bracelets. The first one, made of interwoven golden and white threads, was made for him by Lilith. He remembers making one for her, too, with orange and blue braids. Lilith wore that every day until she died. The other one, he remembers, Belphegor made for him. They had gotten into some sort of argument. Probably over something petty and worthless. Beelzebub took a time out, away from the rest of the angels. Later, Belphegor came by, and offered the neatly made leather string and turquoise bead bracelet as an olive branch. Beelzebub can’t remember the last time he got to hug Belphegor as tightly as he did that day, after getting that bracelet. Those bracelets were memories of happier days, of better times, when they were all angels. When everything was okay. Lilith was gone. Belphegor was gone. All Beelzebub had now… what  _ did  _ he have? He wasn’t entirely sure.

Yeah, Beelzebub had all of his  _ other  _ brothers, but he had something really special with Belphegor. Though they were twins, Beelzebub was always coined as the “older” of the two, and that made him feel important, needed to protect Belphegor. When Belphegor was sent on the exchange program, he felt powerless, just as powerless as he did when he failed to save Lilith. He couldn’t save the two siblings he cared about the most, and now, suddenly, he was thrust into caring for one tiny, fragile human. That human, Jason, who was lying in Beelzebub’s bed, with one purple quilt thrown over his body, cool towel pressed on his forehead. That was all Beelzebub could do, that was all he  _ knew  _ how to do. He didn’t know how else to take care of humans. He felt powerless. He wanted to keep Tyz happy, too. He didn’t want to accidentally hurt Jason, knowing how strong he was. Even if he was sixth in line in terms of strength, he was still  _ miles  _ ahead of a human’s strength. He almost considered a temporary pact, to bind himself to Jason, so he wouldn’t accidentally crush him or something. But that would be wrong. To do that without permission. He kept his fingers moving over the beads, hoping that if he turned them enough times, Jason would wake up and be okay.

Jason shifted in the bed. Beelzebub snapped out of his trance immediately, looking over at the human. Jason groaned, stretching his arms above his head, flipping to lay on his side. The towel fell off, revealing bovine brown eyes, meeting with Beelzebub’s strange, purple pupils. Jason looked down, panicked, realizing he was in Beelzebub’s bed.

“Oh my God!” He squirms, trying to leave the bed. Beelzebub puts a hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him.

“It’s okay. Are you feeling alright?” Beelzebub’s brows furrow, looking over Jason, making sure he looked alright.

“What am I doing in your room?!” Jason looked around wildly, taking in all the accents of the previously shared twin room.

“Jason, it’s alright. I put you in here.”

“Ugh.” Jason puts a hand to the back of his head, rubbing it. “I don’t remember how I got here. Did something happen?”

“Yeah.” Beelzebub pulls a chair up to the bedside, sitting in it. “We were down in the crypt. Lucifer was about to attack me and Luke, but you stepped in front of us. Lucifer grabbed you. He was about to…” Beelzebub paused, trying not to imagine the horror that could have been. “But then Lord Diavolo came in to stop him. When Lucifer dropped you, you hit your head. Tyz told me to take care of you.”

“Jesus.” Jason shivers, remembering what happened before all went dark. Four ruby-red eyes and rows upon rows of menacing teeth threatened his existence. “I… thanks for taking care of me. I appreciate it.” He breathes, looking over to Beelzebub. “You’re not hurt, are you?”

“I’m fine,” Beelzebub smiles slightly. “You helped me. Thank you.”

“A-and everyone else is okay, too, right?!” Jason blinks hard, trying to remember everyone who was there. “Tyz, Mammon, Luke?!”

“They’re all fine too,” Beelzebub folds his hands. “Tyz is worried about you, though.”

“I should text them.” Jason pulls out his phone, shooting off one quick text to Tyz, then pockets it again, eyes irritated by the bright screen. “Okay. Do you have a penlight?”

“A penlight?”

“Yeah. It’s a tiny flashlight. They’re in the shape of pens.” Jason measures out the size of a penlight between his hands. “Do you have one?”

“Um, I might?” Beelzebub stands, walking to the bathroom to rummage in the safety kit. “Yeah, there’s one in here. Do you need it?”

“Yeah. I’m gonna check myself. Make sure I’ve no concussion or anything.” Jason kept his eyes closed. “How long was I out?”

“Um,” Beelzebub hums, pulling out his D.D.D. to check the time. He did some quick math. “Eight or nine hours.”

“Eight or nine?!” Jason yelps, eyes snapping open. “Bring that penlight over. Come on.”

Beelzebub brings the penlight, handing it to Jason, who observes it, and checks to make sure it works. He stands to go to the bathroom to check himself in the mirror, but Beelzebub stops him, keeping a hard hand on his shoulder.

“You still need rest,” he insists. “Let me help you.”

“Do you even know what to look for?” Jason rubs the back of his head again.

“No,” Beelzebub frowns. “But… you can tell me.”

“Okay,” Jason says, handing him the light. “Do you know the basic structure of the eye?”

“No.”

“Then I’ll tell you.” Jason points at his eye. “Eye. That colored part is the iris. My iris is brown. Yours… is purple.”

“You have very dark irises.”

“I know.” Jason smiles. “The white part is the sclera.” He motions to the rest of the eye. “This little pink part is the tear duct.” He points again. “The black, centermost part is the pupil.”

“Sclera. Tear duct. Pupil. Wow, you know a lot about eyes.” Beelzebub smiles, impressed.

“I just happen to know a lot about  _ bodies  _ in general.” Jason nods gently. “I need to. Both for myself and for people I might need to help. My mom’s a doctor.”

“Wow.”

“Alright. So.” Jason points to the light. “You’re going to point that right into my eyes.”

“Won’t that hurt?” Beelzebub clicks the light, turning it on and off.

“I hope not. It shouldn’t be too strong.” Jason points to his eyes. “You need to check for a few things. Make sure there’s no blood in my sclera. That would be bad.”

“Blood.”

“Then you need to make sure my pupils are reacting.”

“Reacting?”

“When you point the pen at my eye, my pupil should shrink. It should contract.” Jason closes his eyes again. “If it doesn’t, that’s not good.”

“Contract.”

“Then you need to make sure both my pupils are about the same size. Okay?”

“Okay. I can do that, I think.” Beelzebub holds the penlight in his hands, nearly dwarfing it from how large he is. He turns it on, pointing it at Jason’s eye, observing. “Can you tilt your head up? I can’t see.”

“Yeah,” Jason tilts up.

“A little more.” Beelzebub uses his free hand to tilt Jason’s chin up, keeping his fingers perched there. Jason feels warm.

“O-okay,” he stutters.

“It looks okay to me…” Beelzebub moves to the other eye, testing its reactivity. He felt particularly nervous that he was going to make one wrong move and hurt Jason. He was already afraid the light from the penlight was hurting him. He felt Jason swallow and immediately pulled away. “You alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Jason blinks, getting rid of the fuzz from his vision. “What’s the verdict, doc?”

“You have really pretty eyes,” Beelzebub says, closing his eyes and smiling.

“Yeah, but, like, are they bleeding or whatever?”

“Nope. You’re all good.” Beelzebub looks back down at Jason, who’s smiling up at him.

“Thanks. You’re helpful, Beelzebub. I appreciate it.” Jason yawns, tired from the ordeal of the day past. “Man.”

“Are you hungry?” Once he says this, Beelzebub’s stomach rumbles. “I’m hungry.”

“Go get yourself something. I’m gonna… rest a little longer.” Jason swings his legs back under the covers, laying down on his side, turned away from Beelzebub. “Man, your bed’s comfy.” He grabs a pillow to hug on, feeling like he was back home.

“Alright.” Beelzebub fingers over his bracelets again before departing for the dining room. It was past six. Everyone would probably be having dinner by now. Food would make him feel better. Maybe if he didn’t eat everything, he’d take something back up to Jason to eat. What did Jason like to eat? He racked his brain as he wandered through the hall.  _ Something that doesn’t move, nor has eyes.  _ Sure, Beelzebub could find something like that, keep it for Jason. Yeah. Food is good for humans. He knew that.

When he arrived in the dining hall, it was silent, and Lucifer was nowhere to be seen. Leviathan was also gone, but this became a norm, knowing that he often stayed in his room and ordered takeout or made cup ramen. Tyz and Mammon were sitting next to each other. Tyz was eating and checking their phone, but Mammon was just watching them, like a hawk. Satan fluffed the newspaper in his hands. Asmodeus looked down sadly at his plate; it looked untouched. If there were ever such a sad sight in the dining hall, it would be the sight Beelzebub was seeing right now.

Beelzebub surveyed the food table. He picked out everything he could have possibly wanted, piling his plate high. When he sat, though, he felt less hungry than he did before, without even touching his food. He ate slowly. Slower than usual. Asmodeus noticed.

“Is something wrong, Beel?” Asmodeus turns to him and smiles. There’s a tinge of sadness in his eyes.

“I’m just worried,” Beelzebub sighs through bites. “I don’t know if you heard about what happened, but…”

“I haven’t seen Jason  _ all day!  _ And I  _ know  _ he got up this morning! And his door was left  _ unlocked!  _ It’s so… so… unlike him!” Asmodeus sniffles, bringing a finger to his eye to wipe away any tears. “I miss him. Why would he up and abandon me like that?”

“He’s been in my room since… just before noon.” Beelzebub closes his eyes, thinking about how weak Jason looked when he first brought him upstairs.

“Beelzebub! Is Jason looking any better?” Tyz looks up from their phone and at Beelzebub.

“A little,” Beelzebub smiles. “He got up for a few minutes. Asked me to look at his eyes.”

“Phew,” Tyz sighs. “Good.”

“To  _ look at his eyes?  _ For what reason?!” Asmodeus butts back in again, wiggling small fists at his younger sibling. “Is  _ love for you  _ brewing in those deep amber orbs of his?!”

“It’s not really  _ amber,”  _ Beelzebub replies. “It’s definitely darker. But there are these tiny flecks of amber in them.”

“Man, I wonder what  _ my  _ eyes look like to someone else.” Tyz rests their head in their hands.

“They’re like seafoam, cloudy skies. Full of mystery and questions, reflecting the world while taking it all in. The color of rainy days and forgotten stories.”

Everyone looks over to Mammon, who had just said the most interesting, thoughtful, and poignant thing at the table that evening.

“What! What’re y’all starin’ at me for?!” Mammon asks the other sitters with an accusatory tone. “Eyes show yer  _ weaknesses!  _ I’m studyin’ the human for  _ weakness!  _ Duh!” He tries to cover up the fact that he’s stared at Tyz’s eyes for a very long time.

“Whatever you say, Mam,” Tyz smiles.

“I’m going.” Satan folds up his newspaper, tucking it under his arm, and leaves the room without another word.

“Hmph! Well you can just… go  _ elope  _ with Jason for all I care, Beelzebub! Ugh!” Asmodeus dramatically drops his utensils on the table with a  _ clank  _ and stomps off to his room.

“Beelzebub? We’re gonna go now, too.” Tyz gathers up their plate, along with Mammon’s. “Thanks for taking care of Jason. We appreciate it.”

Mammon huffs. Tyz elbows him in the chest. “Y-yeah! ‘Ppreciate it, little man.” He gives a half hearted smirk to Beelzebub, before following Tyz to the kitchen to drop off the plates.

Beelzebub is left alone in the dining hall, surrounded by dirty dishes left by his brothers and his plate, which is still full of food. Looking at the food, for once, makes him feel ill. What was wrong? He was thinking too hard, and all those thoughts were traveling down his brain, into his nerves, and settling in his stomach, making him feel like he swallowed a brick of lead. Which he  _ did  _ do once. It was an unpleasant experience, to say the least, but this felt  _ worse. _

Beelzebub was thinking about Lilith. Showing Jason Lilith’s bedroom felt like a more intimate experience than it should have been. He thought about how Lilith came to be condemned by Father, the imposing figure who created Beelzebub, his brothers, his sister, and many, many more. Father. He was a figure draped in a white toga, with long, blond hair, and a full, brush-cut beard. He had piercing, golden eyes, and white skin. Literally, pure white, reflective, like he was carved out of marble. Maybe he was.

Lilith fell in love with the human world. More importantly, she fell in love  _ with  _ a human. She was so in love with that human, she wanted to cure the incurable. The human was sick. Lilith wanted the human to live longer. Lilith hatched a plan to take Celestial Realm food to the human in an attempt to heal them. And Beelzebub, being the sweet older brother he was to her, helped her. He helped sneak some food from the Celestial Realm down to the human world for Lilith, and kept his mouth shut about some food being missing from the table that evening. If he had just said  _ no,  _ maybe, maybe Lilith would still be alive. Maybe they’d all still be in the Celestial Realm, together, happy, playing.

“I guess I’m cleaning up,” Beelzebub says to himself, realizing he’s been staring off into the distance this whole time. He gathered up the plates, taking them to the kitchen, but not before saving a little food on a plate for Jason.

Beelzebub returns back upstairs to his room, being careful not to pick any extra food off the plate. Not as if he was hungry any longer. He opened the door to his room slowly, watching the light from the hallway pour into the room, coating Jason’s unmoving, sleeping form with one band of brightness. He quietly steps over to the chair he had pulled up to his bed, avoiding every creaky plank on his floor, remembering times he didn’t want to wake Belphegor from a nap. It was different, though. His brother was his brother. Of course he cared about his brother. But since when did he care about this human? Was it his gentle insertion into the brothers’ lives that drew Beelzebub to him? Was it the small moments they’ve had together, despite not knowing each other for long? Was it something deeper? He didn’t know. He sat in the chair, plate balanced in his lap, and ran a hand over Jason’s shoulder.

“Hey,” he spoke, gently. “I brought you some food.”

“Mm?” Jason hums, roused from sleep. “Whatever you got. Smells good.”

“It does,” Beelzebub replies. His stomach growls.

“Didn’t you eat?”

“Not very much.”

“What’s the matter?” Jason props himself in the bed, legs still under the covers.

“I just didn’t feel hungry while I was down there.” Beelzebub rubs a hand over his stomach.

“But now you are.”

“But now I am.”

“That’s okay. I’m not too hungry. We can share.” Jason smiles at Beelzebub.

“Really?” Beelzebub’s already drooling. He wipes it from his chin, embarrassed.

“Yeah. Don’t worry about it.” Jason picks up one of the forks from the plate, grabbing a piece of the food.

“I’m supposed to be the one taking care of you,” whines Beelzebub, “but it feels more like you’re the one taking care of me.”

“I like caring for people.” Jason shrugs as he shoves the food into his mouth. “What even is this? What am I eating?”

“Silverfish salad.”

“It’s pretty good,” Jason nods, grabbing some more.

There’s a moment of peace between the two as they quietly pick away at the plate’s contents. There was really something special about two people who generally kept food to themselves sharing with the other. Jason would share if the other person was in need, sure, but… this was special. This meant something for both of them. For Beelzebub, it seemed to mean  _ everything.  _ He doesn’t remember the last time he shared a plate with someone. It was probably with Belphegor. Beelzebub had to remind him to eat, since he slept so often, he forgot to eat.

“Beelzebub?”

“Mm?”

“Thanks. For caring for me.” Jason looks down at his lap. “I usually don’t like to admit I need help, but… well, I guess I didn’t have a choice. I was kinda… out.”

“You were,” Beelzebub giggles.

“I was!” Jason laughs back. “But, yeah. I don’t really like to admit it.”

“I understand,” Beelzebub nodded at him. Belphegor was similar in that sense. “You don’t have to thank me, though.” Beelzebub failed to mention the part where he felt Jason would do the same if they switched places.

“Oh, man. I’m taking up your bed, aren’t I? Do you want me to get out?” Jason swings his legs out of the bed, but Beelzebub pushes him back.

“No. It’s fine.” Beelzebub pulls out his D.D.D., showing Jason the messages on there. “Tyz’s room is repaired. You can stay here for the night. It’s probably… safer, too. If you don’t move, I mean.” Beelzebub holds his wrist, smiling.

“I feel awake now,” Jason leans back on the pillows. “I wanna talk.”

“Okay. What should we talk about?”

“What  _ can  _ we talk about? Because… I have a lot of questions.”

“About?”

“You vaguely talked about some of this stuff when we were in… her room. But I don’t think I’m totally up to snuff. But I also don’t know if it’s okay to ask.”

“No. It’s okay.” Beelzebub scoots the chair ever so slightly closer, setting the plate down on the floor. “If I bring it up, it’s okay to talk about.”

“Okay.” Jason pondered what to ask first. “You said you and your brothers used to be angels.”

“Yes.”

“Can you elaborate on that?”

“I’m not really sure what more I can say about that,” Beelzebub rests his head on his fist. “A long time ago, me and my brothers were born as angels up in the Celestial Realm. Well, except Satan. I mean, he was there for a little while? But not very long. He’s more demon than the rest of us, technically, but we’re all demons now.”

“So you used to be angels.”

“Yes.”

“And now you’re demons?”

“After we fell from grace, cast out of the Celestial Realm by Father, we fell. And fell, and fell, and fell…” Beelzebub remembers the feeling of falling through the clouds, sky darkening as his body was taken by gravity, gripping his twin’s arm, as if he’d lose him if he let go. He was separated from his other brothers when he fell, relying solely on Belphegor. They relied on each other to get around from that point on, until the brothers met up again, below a grand clocktower, ignited with purple and blue flames, circled by corvid creatures. “...and fell.”

“Wow. I’m so sorry.”

“It was scary,” Beelzebub continues. “I felt my wings… they were torn out of my back. Like they caught on a branch, and then, before I knew it, they were replaced with… well…  _ different  _ wings.”

“Different wings?”

“Mmhmm,” Beelzebub nods. “Different wings. They’re like beetle wings now.”

“Oh, yeah.” Jason remembers the segmented insect wings from when Beelzebub was wreaking havoc on the kitchen. “So you all transformed into demons after you fell?”

“More like during?” Beelzebub scratches his head. “It’s a little confusing. Okay. The skies were all blue and pretty when we  _ first  _ started falling. Then, they got darker. Then, they started becoming red. And  _ that’s  _ when I felt horns coming out of my head, out of my cheeks. And Belphegor looked over to me, and he said,  _ brother, I don’t feel so well.  _ And he was growing  _ eyes  _ all over his body.”

“Was it strange?”

“A little. But we had seen some angels, like seraphim, who looked strange all the time.”

“They’ve got a bunch of wings and they’re like, on fire, right?”

“Yeah. They’re a little hard to look at.”

“That’s crazy.” Jason tries to imagine a seraph, but it looks more like white light to him. “You still okay with talking about this?”

“Yes.”

“Why, exactly, were you cast out of the Celestial Realm?”

“Lucifer defied Father’s will.”

“Yeah, but  _ why  _ did he do that?”

“Because of Lilith.” Beelzebub frowns, eyes squinting in an attempt not to cry.

“Lilith? Did she do something wrong?”

“I don’t think I want to talk about this any more,” Beelzebub sighs.

“That’s okay. Thanks for telling me what you did, though.” Jason closes his eyes. “I wanted to know.”

“Can I ask you about things, too?”

“Sure.” Jason keeps his eyes closed, resting them from the light.

“Alright.” Beelzebub looks down at his hands, thinking. “How come you came here to the Devildom?”

“My friend asked me to. Tyz.” Jason smiles.

“And Lord Diavolo let you come?”

“Yeah. He said since Tyz asked, and he could fit another exchange student in the schedule, that it was okay.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you like it here?”

“In the Devildom? Well…”

“It’s okay if you don’t.”

“Not really, then. It’s scary. There’s no daytime. I don’t know any of the foods. I almost got killed, twice now. It’s like my life is resting on a thin thread.” Jason shakes his head. “But… I do enjoy being around you. And your brothers. Mostly. I like being around  _ you,  _ if that’s what you wanted to ask.”

“Thanks.” Beelzebub smiles, face lighting up in happiness. “I want to know. What’s the sky like in the human world?”

“The sky?”

“Yeah.” Beelzebub got to see the sky a few times while traveling to the human world with his brother and sister. He hardly remembers what it looks like now, though. The memories are so faint. The thick air of the Devildom has wrapped itself around those past moments and muddled them so far beyond recognition.

“Well…” Jason thinks, wondering how to describe it. “The sky looks like a lot of different things.”

“Start at the beginning?”

“Like the beginning of the day? Sure.” Jason visualizes the sky. “In the morning, the sun rises. And when it rises, there’s all these beautiful colors in the sky. Peach. Rose. Violet. Cerulean. Teal. And sometimes, clouds come across, and they make whole different colors because the sun is shining on them so brightly. Marigold. Tangerine. This bright, bright orange.”

Beelzebub imagines the fruits painting the sky. “Wow.”

“That’s just the first part of the morning.” Jason watches as the sky in his mind changes, molding into the next part of the day. “In the afternoon and early evening, when the sun is high in the sky, everything is blue. And depending on the time of day, that is, where the sun is, the shades of blue change.” Jason remembers the feel of the sun, warm on his back, the wind tickling his face and combing his hair. “When it’s noon, the sky is such pale blue that you’d almost think it’s white. When it’s past noon, it’s this pretty light blue, like blue jays in winter. And just before sunset, it’s a richer, darker blue.”

“So the sun rises, and then it sets. Later.”

“Yep. And at sunset, the colors can be way different. When it’s just starting to set, the sky turns this sort of… pretty violet color. And when it’s setting behind all the trees, the sun looks red. It’s intense. A crimson red. And then, once the sun is totally gone past the horizon, the sky is dark blue. Navy blue. Royal blue. Indigo.”

“I wish I could see it.” Beelzebub leans his head back, imagining the sky.

“And when it’s pure night…” Jason thinks back to a time in the dead of night when he looked up in the sky. “When it’s totally dark, and you’re in a place that hasn’t been totally ruined by lights from the city, you can see all these stars. There’s so many. The sky is so dark, it’s almost black. It’s a really, really, really dark violet. But there’s so many stars, that once you start noticing them all, the sky looks a little lighter.”

“Wow,” Beelzebub sighs, imagining the stars shining brightly down. There were stars in the Devildom, too, but he never really took a chance to look at them.

“I always wondered about stars. I wondered if something was going on in them, at that moment while I was looking at them. Something incredible. I wondered if stars were painted by God.”

“Who’s God?”

“Oh,” Jason says, yawning. “Just some guy some people like.”

“Oh,” Beelzebub nods. “Are you tired?”

“Yep.”

“Are you gonna fall asleep now?”

“Yep.”

“Goodnight.”

“G’night.”

And with that exchange, Jason lapses into sleep yet again, head sliding down comfortably on Beelzebub’s pillow. Beelzebub watches him breathe gently, for just a moment, wondering how humans can live such short lives and ask so many questions they know they’d never be able to answer in their lifetimes. He retires to the couch, kicking off his shoes and covering himself up with a small blanket. He needed rest, too.

A few hours pass, and the two seem to be sleeping without interruption. However, Jason is in the midst of a nightmare, passing in and out of sleep. All he can see when he closes his eyes is that piercing glare he saw from Lucifer just before he fell from the demon’s grasp. He remembers seeing his own self reflected in those eyes, literally and metaphorically. And even worse, was the horrid growling voice that took Lucifer away before he could kill Jason. If Lucifer was that strong, who was stronger than him? Lord Diavolo. And  _ why  _ was Lord Diavolo so strong? What gave him that utter strength over someone like Lucifer?

Jason snaps upright in bed, sweating all over. He wanders out from under the covers, into the bathroom, to splash some cool water on his face. When he got a look at himself in the mirror, he noticed the small cut that healed over on his cheek. That was probably from Lucifer. The damage he did was done--even if he didn’t mean to hurt Jason, he did, and now it was probably going to remain with him until he forgot about it. Forgot about it, if he was lucky. Jason wasn’t really that lucky with things like that. He stepped out of the bathroom, walking back to the bed, but yelped as he bumped into a large, stiff body.

“Sorry,” Beelzebub spoke quietly, voice like an upright bass. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“S’okay,” Jason shakes off the shivers he got from the moment. “I’m fine.”

“Can you sleep?”

“Yes and no. It’s been a bit tough.”

“I can’t really sleep, either.” Beelzebub shifts around on the floor. “Can we sit up and talk some more?”

“Yeah.” Jason wanders back to the bed. “Did you wanna… sit over here?”

“Yeah.” Beelzebub crawls onto the other side of the bed, weighing it down a significant amount. Jason slides and bumps into his side.

“Sorry,” he moves back over to give Beelzebub some space.

“It’s okay,” Beelzebub smiles, but Jason can’t see it in the darkness. “I had a nightmare.”

“Me, too.”

“Jason?” Beelzebub shifts, turning to face Jason.

“Yeah?” Jason can feel the demon’s breath close by.

“Can I… can I hold your hand? Is that okay?” Beelzebub blushes, furrowing his brows.

“Yeah. But I can’t guarantee my hands are good to hold.” Jason reaches out, finding Beelzebub’s hand. “I get all sweaty.”

“That’s okay.” Beelzebub squeezes the hand that was placed in his. It was small. It was so small, he might have mistaken it for a mouse. It was soft, too. Beelzebub’s hand, in comparison, was a touch rough, a bit calloused from workouts, but soft in their own sense, in how gently they held onto what he cared most for. What he cared most for was generally his family, but a new object for his affections was growing, and it rested in the human breathing gently next to him.

“Night,” Jason mumbles, subconsciously pulling Beelzebub’s hand closer to his chest.

“...Goodnight,” Beelzebub replies, letting sleep take him over.

Neither of them struggled with sleep for the rest of the night.


	4. Sixth Symphony, Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "There is a gentle lady in heaven, who has such compassion, for this trouble I send you to relieve, that she overrules the strict laws on high. She called Lucia, to carry out her request, and said: “Now, he who is faithful to you, needs you, and I commend him to you.”"
> 
> The demons, humans, and angels get an opportunity to tour the Demon Lord's castle.

“You’re quiet.”

Ristorante Six was this lavish, Romantic-era styled restaurant out on one of the more ritzy streets of the Devildom. A few days had passed since the altercation in the catacombs. After many hours of uncomfortable tension between Lucifer and Jason at the dinner table, the demon decided to pull the human aside and invite him for dinner. The idea is that the two could work out their differences, maybe bond a bit, but Jason seemed tense, or worse, completely out of it. He stared down at the menu like his life depended on it. Lucifer never knew the human could get like this. He almost considered asking Tyz a little about Jason, just to point him in the right direction of conversation, but it would be rude to pull out his D.D.D. now.

“The chandelier has been watching me ever since we got here.” Jason directs his gaze to the large light fixture in the center of the ceiling, made up of interlocking deer-like skulls. Their empty sockets seemed to glow with a purple light. “I don’t _like_ it.”

“Lord save me,” Lucifer sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Ever since the incident in the catacombs, Lucifer and Jason had been on tense terms. They avoided each other as much as possible. It was like they could sense each other coming into the room. Jason made it a habit to stop in the kitchen early to make himself something to eat for dinner, as to avoid sitting with the demon who tried to kill him just a few days ago. Lucifer had a slight frown painted on his face every time he was seated at the head of the table, eyes glancing every so often to the empty spot, unfilled by the shorter human. Tyz, too, looked over to the empty spot, but also looked over to Lucifer, worried about him, and worried about the reddish mark on his cheek. That mark which he had left uncovered for one day, and had been covered with concealer ever since.

Tyz didn’t bring it up to him or any of the other brothers, but kept it tucked away in their mind.

After four days of not talking to each other, Lucifer finally caught Jason before he left for class in the morning.

“I’d like a word with you. In private.” Lucifer stepped towards Jason in a way that prevented him from running away without taking a few steps backwards. “In the music room, if you don’t mind.”

Jason shivered at his voice, remembering that day, frozen in place. He twists his head back to Tyz and the other brothers, whose expressions range from unaffected to worried. “Does it have to be in private? Can it not be said out here?”

“I’d much _prefer_ for it to be private,” said Lucifer, who put so much emphasis on the word _prefer_ that he was saying he’d either talk in private or not talk at all.

“Tyz,” Jason calls out, “if I’m not done in five minutes, come and get me.”

“You’ll be okay,” Tyz calls back, putting too much faith in the two to resolve their tensions.

Jason tentatively follows Lucifer to the music room, taking in the sights present. There was a baby grand positioned at the left of the room, hood opened, ready to be played by plaintive, melodic hands. Moonlight was gently cast in from the neighboring planetarium. There was a lavish red rug spread across most of the floor. Stringed instruments were displayed on the other side of the room, along with earlier-era instruments, including a harpsichord. Jason would be exploring (and touching) all of the instruments if Lucifer wasn’t standing so menacingly, hand placed on his chest, casting a certain look down upon the human.

“Alright, what is it?” Jason turns and looks at him, doing his best to stand tall and strong, despite fearing for the worst.

Lucifer sighed, swallowing hard before he spoke. “I’d like to… apologize for the incident a few days prior.” He tried to keep his eyes on Jason, but they kept drifting away.

“That’s it?”

“No. I’m not done yet.” His gaze snapped back to the human. “I was hoping I could take you out tonight, to make up for it. Ristorante Six. My treat. What do you say?”

“What?” Jason tilted his head at Lucifer in confusion. “You’re taking me out to eat?”

“Only if you accept,” Lucifer returns to a neutral expression, waiting for a response.

“I got nothing better to do. Sure.” Jason waves him off and turns, quickly scuttling out of the music room. “Bye now.”

“Wait, I--” Lucifer groaned. “I didn’t even tell you what time.” He dashes to the doorway, peeking out. “Six! Six o’clock, got that?!” He shouts down the hallway.

“Six, Ristorante Six, okay! Whatever!” Jason walks faster, imperceptibly fast for a little fat boy. Lucifer pinches his nose, realizing what a rough night it was about to be.

And now, here they were, Lucifer attempting to make good with the human he nearly destroyed less than a week ago. This would probably be the hardest thing he’d do… well, not counting everything that came before this moment. Yes, see, if he compared this one little dinner date, or excursion, to everything he’d done in his past, and also including… that talk with Diavolo he had after the altercation, this was very, very easy. Surely it would be. It couldn’t be _that_ hard. Dinner and an apology! Lucifer knew Jason loved food. If there was anything he’d learned about him, it was that.

“I can’t read this menu.” Jason folds the menu, putting it back down on the table.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Lucifer mutters under his breath. “Well, what would you _like_ to eat? They have just about anything you could want here.”

“I’d love to go home, actually, and have some cheap box macaroni.” Jason shrugs.

“I don’t know what that is.”

“You guys got noodles down here, right?”

“Of course.”

“Okay. So a macaroni is a certain type of noodle, but when people talk about box macaroni, they’re talking about macaroni and cheese.”

“So you want noodles topped with cheese. That’s amenable.”

“No. You see, what I really want is to go home.” Jason sighs, looking at the utensils on the table. They were basically the same as utensils from the Human Realm, except these seemed to have a wood texture with gold swirls on the bottoms. It was pretty.

“And if I could offer you that, I would,” Lucifer folds his hands on the table, careful to keep his elbows off. Manners seemed to translate between the worlds. “I can’t, though. You’re required, by contract, to stay here in the Devildom for the entire term, no more, and no less. You are to complete your studies with a grade equivalent of 80% or greater, else you face the consequence of summer studies.”

“I never signed no fuckin’ contract,” Jason growls. “What’d you do, get my thumbprint while I was out and decide that was enough consent?”

The waiter begins to track over to their table, pitcher in hand to refill their glasses with water. “It’s actually a **general contract** for all exchange students, **implemented as soon as they set foot into the Devildom,** so no, there’s **nothing** I can do about it.” The waiter immediately continues walking, not wanting to interrupt Lucifer and Jason’s intimate and passionate conversation.

“Sounds like a whole load of bullshit. How come I never really get to see this Diavolo guy, anyway?” Jason crosses his arms, kicking his legs.

 _“Lord_ Diavolo is extremely busy with his work, running the Academy _and_ keeping track of the entire Devildom.” Lucifer’s glare is seething, ready to spill over, but Jason ignores it.

“God. You’re just like my dad. You really think taking me to dinner is gonna change my opinion? You tried to _kill_ me!” Jason’s brows furrow as he looks up at Lucifer. “Do _not_ act like you control me. I don’t _care_ if you’re a part of some stupid student council. As far as I know, I’m asleep and dreaming. None of this could be real.”

“It’s all _very_ real, and it’s about **time,”** Lucifer stands, voice booming, **“for you to take things seriously.”** His voice echoes like a tiger in the jungle through the entire restaurant, making some lesser demons drop their cutlery on their tables and shut up. He clears his throat, bringing a clawed finger to his throat, loosening his necktie, and sitting back down. “Excuse my outburst.”

“I don’t know how else to tell you that I think none of this is real and that I’m dreaming.” Even after counting fingers, looking at clocks, biting his tongue, splashing himself with water, looking in the mirror, and countless other techniques, Jason still isn’t convinced that the Devildom is an actual place, and this strange date-esque thing with Lucifer isn’t helping.

“I don’t know how you think this isn’t real,” Lucifer looks up and around at the restaurant’s interior, waving his hands to everything. “What isn’t clicking?”

“Just… everything,” Jason shrugs, watching the waiter come by as the fear in the room dies down and people return to their normal conversations. “Demons, angels, cursed tomes, all these classes! It’s like… it’s like a fantasy come to life. And now I’m being told all this is _real._ These are all _real things_ and not some sort of dream. And that I almost got killed, for real.” Their glasses are refilled and Jason traces a finger around the rim. “Like, maybe Tyz isn’t scared because they’re used to it, or something, but _I_ am! I’m scared! I always pretend I don’t get scared that easy, but holy shit, this is scary!”

“Are me and my brothers frightening to you?” Lucifer’s look softens, and he almost looks ashamed, guilty of scaring the human.

“Most of you, yeah,” Jason admits, opening his hands on the table. “But it’s mostly you. Every time I’ve interacted with you, I’ve felt nervous about what you could do to me, knowing you’re supposed to be, like, the first one in Hell. I mean, that was the biblical story. That you were an angel and then God was like, you’re disrespecting me, and boom, kicked out of Heaven.”

“Interesting interpretation of my past,” Lucifer holds a hand to his chest, tilting his head.

“Yeah. So you’re supposed to be super scary, all-powerful, the king of temptation, the thing you watch out for when you’re trying to be in God’s good graces. And demons are supposed to be scary in general. I liked monsters when they were in drawings, and they couldn’t hurt me.” Jason wrings his hands. “Now they’re real, and they’re out of the paper, and they’re this close to hurting me.”

“Hmm,” Lucifer hums, scanning Jason over. The waiter comes over, speaking to Lucifer in a tongue Jason can’t recognize nor decipher. Lucifer replies in seemingly the same language, before the waiter turns back to Jason, speaking yet again in the language.

“Lucifer, I can’t understand him.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. What did you want again?”

“I told you, I couldn’t read the menu. I’ll just have whatever you’re having.” Jason shrugs. Lucifer makes his reply to the waiter, who bows and returns to his rounds.

“So you think me and my brothers, and all demons, by extension, are frightening?” Lucifer leans in to listen, his tone quieter than before.

“This whole place is scary,” Jason nods. “I don’t know what to do.”

“I apologize that us demons are threatening by nature,” Lucifer grips his collar. “We will do everything we can to make you comfortable. We can suppress our… natural urge to…”

“Hurt people? Trick people? Drive them to temptation?”

“Something like that. We cannot hurt the exchange program students.”

“But other humans are fair game.”

“Now you’re just twisting my words.”

“I’m finding hidden meaning in your answers, because I’m a horrid snot of a boy like that.” Jason’s brows furrow as he keeps his eyes on Lucifer.

“You’re quite the smart one, aren’t you?” Lucifer smiles. “It’d be great if you focused that deductive energy into your studies.”

“I do. I’m quite the multitasker when I need to be.”

“Watch yourself.”

 _“You_ watch yourself. If you lay one harming finger on my best friend, I’ll find out how to kill demons and I will _kill you.”_

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

After a few minutes of tense silence, dinner arrives at the table, accented with a bow from the waiter. He picks up his cutlery with a pristine air, cutting into the meal as if he had made the same motion a thousand times, used to the action, used to looking perfect even while eating. Jason poked at the meal in front of him, the same thing Lucifer had. It looked like a large slice of salmon, if the flesh were dark blue instead of a rosy red. Jason had no specific manners to speak of, tearing into the food as if it were the aforementioned fish. Thankfully, it happened to taste like fish, too. Jason wouldn’t know what to do with himself if it tasted different in any way.

As they finished, Lucifer cleaned himself up, even though he didn’t seem to make any sort of mess on his face. It was almost too perfect, the way he did that. Jason didn’t even notice that he had a bottle of drink, what Jason assumed was wine, or the Devildom equivalent. And there Lucifer was, pouring it into a glass for himself. When the waiter came back with the check envelope, Lucifer quickly grabbed it and signed off on the inside, sending him away, before folding his hands on the table once more.

“How _old_ are you?” Jason peered over the bottle at Lucifer.

“Didn’t your mother ever tell you how rude it is to ask how old someone is?” Lucifer smiles. It’s coy; it’s cunning. He’s joking around.

“Nope.” Jason takes it seriously.

“Mm.” The smile fades. “If you must know, I’m six--”

"Six?!”

“I didn’t _finish._ Sixteen thousand.”

"Sixteen _thousand?!”_ Jason’s eyes bulge. “Jesus, you’re old!”

“Would you quiet down? We’re in a public space.” Lucifer tightly shuts his eyes. “This may be a novel concept to you quick-living humans, but we demons live for thousands of years.”

“It’s just…” Jason compiles his thoughts. “All that time you’ve been _alive,_ there’s so much you _know!_ That kind of breadth of information just isn’t possible for any one man to compute! There are things you _must_ know that we wouldn’t _dream_ of knowing!” He shakes his hands in the air, trying to exemplify just how excited he was.

“Hm,” Lucifer hums, pleased. “Perhaps we demons aren’t as completely evil as you first thought.”

“I never thought that,” Jason looks away from him, flushed in the face. “Are we going? I don’t wanna stay out too late…”

“What, afraid of the night?” Lucifer stands, pushing in his chair. “Nobody would dare touch an exchange student… at least, not while the most powerful demon prince is around.”

Jason stands and pushes in his chair, too. “Real reassuring.”

The two return home without any troubles. When they arrive and step into the gathering room, they see the rest of the brothers, Tyz, and Lord Diavolo himself, looking at the two of them.

“Glad to see you two here,” Diavolo grins, spreading his arms wide. “I’ve decided to hold a little party! A party for our exchange students!”

“What?” All the others say in unison.

“You all sound so surprised!” Diavolo chuckles. “Good! That’s what I hoped for! It’s this weekend, at my castle! Three days of festivities! Each day dedicated to one of the realms! Lots of fun! And you’ll _all_ be attending.” His face becomes serious with the last sentence, before lightening up again. “Okay, that’s all I had to say! Ta-ta for now!” With a snap of his fingers, black smoke and feathers puff up around Diavolo, and when it dissipates, he is gone.

“But we just--I’m not going to remember all that,” Jason sighs.

“OMG, it took you guys long enough to come back!” Leviathan complains. “Diavolo made us stand here for, like, an _hour.”_

“Apologies,” Lucifer puts a hand to his chest and frowns. “We were only out to dinner.”

“A dinner date?!” Asmodeus cries out. “Lucifer, you dirty _cheat!_ What happened to _no fraternizing with our guests?!”_

“You probably broke that rule already a million times, Asmo!” Mammon barks. “Don’t think yer cute face exempts you from rulebreakin’!”

“Did not,” Asmodeus pouts.

“Did so,” Mammon bites back.

The two continue on a tirade like that, as the others state their own qualms.

“I can’t wait to taste all the food,” Beelzebub starts to drool.

“There goes Lord Diavolo, jumping something on us with such short notice,” Satan sighs.

“Who knows? Maybe it could be fun.” Tyz tries to look on the bright side.

“Maybe,” Jason looks off down the hallway.

As the others go to bed and rest up for the weekend full of festivities, Jason stays up a little later to visit Belphegor. It had been a while since he’d last seen the Avatar of Sloth, and since he was going to be away for a bit, it might be a good idea to check back in. He turns down the hallways, careful to be as quiet as possible as he passes by Lucifer’s bedroom, and up the spiral staircase, into the attic, and touching the wallpaper again to reveal Belphegor’s room. A few moments pass, and Belphegor shifts his feet against the floor, rubbing a hand to his eyes.

“It’s you again,” he mutters, crossing his legs on the floor as he sits.

“It is,” Jason smiles lightly at him, mirroring the action. “I wanted to make sure you were doing alright.”

“What do you mean? Why wouldn’t I be alright?”

“I mean… I guess there’s no reason. I came up here because I’ll be going away with everyone for a few days, starting tomorrow.” Jason presses his head close to the bars.

“Everyone?” Belphegor tilts his head. “Where?”

“To Diavolo’s castle.”

“This could be a good chance to make a pact with one of my brothers,” he murmurs, putting a finger to his chin and tapping it. “Just be careful. I don’t want Lucifer suspecting anything.”

“We’re not exactly on the greatest terms right now, anyways,” Jason grimaces.

“Did something happen?”

“Well, he almost killed me, I guess.”

 _“What?”_ Belphegor’s eyes glow with animosity for his eldest brother. “What _happened?”_

Jason explains the situation. “So basically, he dropped me hard on the ground, I woke up in Beelzebub’s and yours room, and… yeah, that’s that.”

“Damn Lucifer,” he swears, lips pulling up in a snarl. “Yet another slight that he’ll _pay_ for.”

“I’m okay!” Jason reassures, hands up. “Beelzebub is a good caretaker. I’m glad he was around.”

“...That’s good,” he nods. “Yeah. Beel… he’s a good guy.” There’s almost a hint of a smile on his face, but it quickly fades. “Like I said, be careful. And keep an eye on your other human friend, too, okay?”

“I will. See you later, Belphegor.” Jason curls a hand around one of the horizontal bars, waving at Belphegor. He watches the human stand up and walk away, his own hands falling limp to his lap.

“Once I get out,” Belphegor mutters. “Once I get out, Lucifer, you’ll pay for what you did to me.”

* * *

“All right! It’s finally time for our retreat! Three days and two nights!” Mammon hefts a suitcase in his left hand, black leather with golden buckles and handle, a good reflection of who he is as a demon. “Tyz, are you pumped for this or what?!”

“Sure am,” Tyz smiles lightly at him, patting him on the shoulder. “It’ll be interesting to see the castle, won’t it, Jason?”

“Yeah,” says Jason, obviously distracted, hands fidgeting around.

“Yeeeeaaaahhh!” Mammon shouts, yipping with glee.

“Mammon, you’re being **really** loud.” Leviathan huffs as he gives Mammon a side-eye that could kill. He has a duffel bag hanging from his shoulder, with various colorful charms jingling and hanging off the clips.

“Aw, what’s wrong with you, Levi? Get that grumpy look off your face, killjoy!” Mammon chuckles, teasing his younger sibling. “Ah, I know what’s goin’ on here. You stayed up real late last night playin’ games and readin’ manga and stuff, didn’t ya? Yup, I knew it!” He points a finger up. “One point for Mammon!”

“You’re like…” Leviathan shrugs away from him, “... **too** excited right now, Mammon, and it’s really annoying.”

“Mammon being annoying is nothing new,” Satan comments, “but yeah. This morning, he’s _especially_ annoying.” He has a small satchel swung over his left shoulder, probably only filled with essentials.

“At first, you were complaining about how this retreat was going to be a drag.” Leviathan rolls his eyes.

“Ah, shut up, both of you,” Mammon grunts. “Sure, I thought it was gonna be a drag, but now that it’s actually time to go, I’m excited! Anythin’ wrong with that, huh?!”

“What are you, an elementary school kid about to head off on a field trip?” Satan smirks.

“Cut it out, you guys,” Tyz puts their hands in their pockets. “We don’t need to be picking on each other.” Jason is still standing and fidgeting.

“Woah, Beel, those bags of yours are waaay too big!” Mammon puts his empty hand on his hip. Jason looks up at the mention of the demon, noting that he does, in fact, have two very large suitcases that look more like coolers. “I bet they’re stuffed with food, ain’t they?”

“Well, what about Asmodeus?” Beelzebub’s eyes go wide, pointing a thumb at the aforementioned brother. “I’d say he’s the one you should be criticizing when it comes to luggage.”

“Goooood morning, everyone! My, you’re all early!” Asmodeus is chipper, as expected. He skips over to Jason, two large pearlescent rolling suitcases trailing behind him. “Jason, my darling, you’ll help me with my bags, won’t you?”

“...Asmodeus,” Satan looks over to him. _“Why_ do you have so much luggage?”

“Yeah. It’s only for two nights, ya know?” Mammon shakes his head. “You think you’re headin’ off on a tour of the three worlds or somethin’?”

“Three worlds?” Jason mutters. “Maybe more. Maybe one.”

“This is actually quite a bit less than what I wanted to bring,” Asmodeus whines, placing a pastel pink purse in Jason’s hands. “Hold that, will you, dear?”

“So what do you have in there? Food?” Beelzebub tilts his head expectantly. Jason looks back over at him again, mulling over what happened last week.

“Ugh, no, of course not,” Asmodeus huffs, brows furrowed. “I’m not **you,** Beel!” His face returns to its usual jubilant self. “I guess most of it is just clothes, makeup, and random beauty products? I mean, everyone expects me to look my best at all times, don’t they?” He giggles and puts a finger to his cheek.

“Man, even _Levi_ makes more sense than you, Asmo!” Mammon rolls his eyes and shakes his head again.

“It looks like everyone’s here,” Lucifer’s sharp shoes tap into the front hallway. “It won’t do to keep Diavolo waiting. We should head over to the Demon Lord’s Castle right now. I want to get there before the angels and Solomon do.”

“Angels and Solomon will be there?” Jason perks up his head, looking around with wide eyes.

“What’s the matter? Didn’t you get enough sleep last night?” Asmodeus ruffles Jason’s hair. It wasn’t that; Jason was nervous about going to the Demon Lord’s Castle, especially after what happened recently. There was something about Lord Diavolo that made him feel ill, but it might have just been that he hadn’t properly met the demon before.

“So, we’re goin’ to the Demon Lord’s Castle… I hope you’re ready, Tyz, ‘cause there ain’t no guarantee you’ll come back from this alive, ya know?” Mammon shoots Tyz a sharp-toothed grin.

“I’ll protect you, Tyz!” Jason yelps, dropping the purse he didn’t even realize he was gripping.

“We’ll be fine, Jason,” Tyz chuckles. “He’s just playing around.”

“I know you want Tyz to be **interested** in you, Mammon, but you _do_ realize it sounds as if you’re trying to **scare** someone, don’t you?” Satan looks over to Mammon.

“What?!” Mammon holds a hand to his chest. “Whaddya mean?! Pff, why would I want _Tyz_ to be interested in me, huh?” He shoves the hand in his pocket. “There are a lotta rumors about that place, that’s a fact. From what I hear, there are ghosts wanderin’ the halls, y’know?”

“Well, what I heard is that there’s an underground labyrinth beneath the castle.” Satan rests his empty hand on his chest, much like Lucifer would do.

“So, ghosts and an underground labyrinth, huh…? I could totally believe both of those rumors. But at the same time--”

“Quit standing around and get going!” Lucifer snaps his head to the door.

“Right, right. I’m comin’...” Mammon’s feet shuffle against the floor, and everyone else follows as they make their way to the Demon Lord’s Castle: Diavolo’s residence.

When the demons and humans arrive, luggage in tow, Lord Diavolo is there to greet them himself. To his left stands his obedient servant, Barbatos, both of which Jason had never been formally introduced to. Not after tearing ass out of the Student Council Room the day he arrived in the Devildom.

“Well, good morning,” Diavolo smiles, spreading his arms out to his guests. “I must say, I couldn’t wait for you to arrive!”

“Welcome to the Demon Lord’s Castle. It’s a pleasure to have you here.” Barbatos presses a hand to his chest and quickly bows.

Jason looks over Diavolo and Barbatos quickly, eyes still wide and wild from his nerves. Diavolo looked essentially the same as he did in his painting, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, and maybe just a bit too chipper and kind as the proclaimed King of the Devildom. Or, soon to be, once his father steps down. Or dies, whichever happens first.

“And you,” Diavolo’s dark eyes point at Jason, “you’re the other human exchange student, Jason! Oh, I’m so sorry we didn’t get to properly meet when you first arrived.”

Jason’s head snaps up to look at him. He’s large. He’s imposing. He takes up so much of the room that it feels like even breathing would be difficult. “It’s nice to meet you, too.” He holds out a hand, which is eagerly shook by Diavolo. Diavolo’s hands felt like dried leather. It wasn’t pleasing. “I appreciate the opportunity to work with you--I mean, to stay here at your school.”

“Aren’t you cute,” Diavolo tuts, nodding his head once and looking back out to his guests. “Oh. Lucifer, Mammon, seems you two are getting along swimmingly, as per usual.”

Mammon was yowling as Lucifer’s heel dug into his foot. Jason didn’t even have time to notice the debacle. That split second spent shaking hands with Diavolo felt like an eternity, like he was trapped in some sort of mystical box, latched tight by the Demon King’s dark claws. Tyz was trying to separate the two, to no avail.

“Milord, the other guests have arrived.” Barbatos smiles as he puts a gloved hand to his chin. The brothers immediately stop their squabbling as they turn to see the other guests arriving: Simeon, Solomon, and Luke.

“Hello, and good morning!” Simeon smiles, a hand on his hip, cape draped over his shoulders as always. “We’ve already got quite the crowd here, don’t we?”

“You demons sure know how to get an early start,” Solomon comments. “I see you managed to get here before us.”

“Did he just inadvertently group us in with the demons?” Jason leans over to Tyz, whispering.

“Maybe.” Tyz frowns.

Luke comes out from behind Simeon’s legs, gasping. “Jason!” He runs up and grabs him, wrapping his short arms around the young man’s waist.

“Aw, hey, kid!” Jason smiles, feeling his body calm down a bit.

“Yuck, normies…” Leviathan huffs.

“I’m so glad you’re alright…!” He looks up at Jason with glassy eyes. “I was so, so worried! There aren’t even words…!”

“What’s all this about?” Satan looks over.

“I’m guessing he must feel responsible for what happened,” Asmodeus comments. “You know, for how Lucifer nearly killed Jason.”

“I’m so, so sorry, Jason,” Luke continues. “You could’ve been hurt--or worse--and it was all my fault…” He sniffles. “It’s such a relief to see you safe and sound. I’ve been beside myself with worry…”

“Aw, kid.” Jason smiles down at him, patting a hand on his shoulder. “It wasn’t your fault. It was…” Jason pauses, taking a deep breath before attempting to let the past go. “It was a mistake.” It hurt to say, because Jason knew that at some point, it _wasn’t_ a mistake--it was a plan, it was a promise to destroy him because of his insolence and insistence on saving every life he could. It still hurt, maybe not physically, but emotionally and mentally, being plagued with the anguish of knowing that the brothers he was housing with could kill him at any time, even on accident. But he couldn’t show that side to Luke, nor to Tyz, not to any of them. He had to keep that locked away, deep inside.

“Are you sure you’re not an angel?!” Luke grips Jason tighter, swinging his body around.

“Just a guy,” Jason replies, patting his head.

“I’ve heard rumors that Simeon and Diavolo met and mediated a solution together.” Solomon turns to Simeon. “Is that right?”

“Yes, we did,” Simeon gently smiles.

“Indeed, yes.” Diavolo nods at the crowd. “Isn’t that right, Lucifer?”

Lucifer steels his expression and pauses a moment before replying. “Yes.”

Luke’s face scrunches up as he still grips onto Jason. “Just look at the expression on Luke’s face,” Asmodeus whispers to Satan. “He looks like a dog with his tail between his legs.”

“Shhh,” Satan shushes his brother. “He’ll hear you.”

“All right, then.” Diavolo clasps his hands together. “Now that we’re all here, perhaps we should go right ahead and explain how this retreat is going to work.”

“Certainly, milord,” Barbatos takes the reins. “The aim of this retreat is for demons, angels, and humans to intermingle so that each may gain a better understanding of the other.”

“Not a bad idea,” Tyz nods. Luke unlatches from Jason’s side, but stands next to him.

“Well, as we’re stayin’ the night,” Mammon grins, “I say the best way to **intermingle** is by havin’ a pillow fight!” He swings his arms around, simulating beaming his brothers with feather filled sacks.

“Now then,” Barbatos continues, “I’ll begin by explaining what we have planned for each day of the retreat.”

“So you’re just gonna ignore me?” Mammon whines.

“ROTFLMAO! LAWL!” Leviathan giggles.

“Christ, use words,” Jason scoffs.

“After you’ve taken your belongings up to your roms, we’ll begin with a tour of the Demon Lord’s Castle, where you’ll have a chance to learn about Devildom history.” Barbatos holds an arm up on his stomach, as if he’s about to bow. “We’ll be serving Devildom cuisine for dinner tonight, and I’ve taken the liberty of volunteering to prepare tonight’s meal myself.”

“Mmm, Barbatos’s authentic Devildom cuisine…” Beelzebub starts to drool.

“Um, Beel…” Leviathan points it out. “You’re drooling.”

“Tomorrow we’ll be having a scavenger hunt,” Barbatos continues.

“Eh? A what now?” Mammon tilts his head.

“Scavenger hunt. It’s like a word search, but with objects,” Jason explains.

“There was a better way of explaining that,” Satan rolls his eyes.

“Each day, we plan to have a representative from one of the three worlds prepare a meal for us.” Barbatos curls a finger to his chin. “So, tomorrow Luke will be making food from the Celestial Realm. I’m sure it will be quite a treat.”

“Food from the Celestial Realm, huh…” Beelzebub’s stomach growls with a raging intensity.

“Was that your stomach just now, Beel?” Asmodeus furrows his brow. “I thought for a moment I heard thunder.”

“Remember, Luke,” Simeon trots up behind the angel, putting a hand on his shoulder, “you’re making _dinner._ Which means more than just sweets, understand?”

Luke turns back to face his upperclassman. “Okay…” he pouts.

“Incidentally, there will also be a dance following dinner tomorrow.” Barbatos nods. “Then on day three--the final day--we’ll get to enjoy food from the human world, which Tyz will be preparing for us.”

“I’m not so sure I can do that,” Tyz holds up their hands in defeat.

“There’s no need to try and make anything complicated,” Solomon reassures them. “Even something simple would be an interesting treat for them.” He smiles. “I haven’t gotten to eat human world food in a long time. I’m really looking forward to what you make, Tyz.”

“You make it sound like you haven’t been up there in decades,” Jason cackles.

“Well then, why don’t we move on to the room assignments?” Barbatos outstretches his hands. “Lord Diavolo will be sharing a room with Lucifer.”

Lucifer’s eyes go wide. “You have your own bedroom here. Why share a room with me?”

“Why do you think?” Diavolo smiles. “Because this is a retreat, of course!”

“You certainly seem to be looking forward to this,” Lucifer frowns, folding his arms.

“Luke, Beelzebub, Leviathan, you will be sharing a room,” says Barbatos.

Leviathan bickers about Beelzebub trying to chew on one of his figurines. Luke appears to be worried, eyes downcast.

“Simeon, Asmodeus, Jason, you’ll be sharing a room,” Barbatos continues. “Solomon, Mammon, Satan, you three will have the odd group out. You’ll have to share with Tyz as well.”

“No objections,” Mammon shrugs, a slight smirk dusted on his face.

“You seem to be quite happy about this,” Satan comments.

“Shaddup. I’m just happy I didn’t get stuck with the _new guy,”_ Mammon scoffs.

“Ouch,” Jason pulls his lips back in a grimace. “Didn’t have to say it out loud.”

“Come along. Let’s all get to our rooms,” Lucifer says, turning on his heel and leading the group up the stairs.

An hour later, with the groups separated into their rooms, Asmodeus, Simeon, and Jason, aptly nicknamed Triple S, get to relax and take in the decorations of the Demon King’s spare bedroom. It had _interesting decor,_ at least, from Jason’s standpoint. A strange skull hung upon the wall, like a mix between a bull and a canine. There was a glowing vase on a side table, roses (or the Devildom equivalent) sprouting out of it. Or, well, out of its arteries--it was in the shape of an anatomical heart. Disgusting, but interesting, too. There were golden arches, decorated with swirling forms, similar to ancient architecture Jason had studied before. There were three beds, probably queen-sized, with plum bed sheets.

Simeon sits on the far right bed, clasping his hands in his lap. “So, Asmodeus, Jason, let me take this opportunity to say that I look forward to sharing a space with the two of you for these next few days.”

“Yes, me too,” Asmodeus agrees, taking the far left bed and procuring a nail file from his pocket. “And I have to say, Jason, Simeon, you two certainly lucked out, now didn’t you?!” He accents his words with filing, the movements precise and calculated. “Considering you get to share a room with me,” he giggles.

“Ah, yes,” Simeon nods, though face flat and unimpressed. “I suppose you could say we’re lucky to have you on the team.”

“I’m excited to get the know the two of you better,” Jason nods, disregarding Asmodeus’s narcissistic comment and wondering how things will go with both an angel and a devil in the same room.

“Hehe. Now, now,” Asmodeus tuts, pointing his file at the other two, “there’s no need to hide how thrilled you **really** are right now.” His face turns serious. “Stop and think about it for a moment. You’ll be sharing a room with **me,** with Asmodeus himself.” His voice is thick and overly sweet like molasses. “Which means you’ll be there to see me when I first wake up in the morning, after I’ve stepped out of the shower, when I get sleepy and start to doze off, when I’m changing clothes…”

“I prefer to turn away if someone I don’t know is changing.” Jason shakes his head.

“I’m saying, for three days and two nights, you actually get to witness the most private sides of me.” Asmodeus smiles again, clapping as he finishes his nails. “Now, if that’s not what you call amazing luck, I don’t know what is!”

“I have to say, you really _are_ funny, aren’t you, Asmodeus?” Simeon giggles.

“Funny?” Asmodeus folds his arms. “I believe you mean **beautiful.** It’s okay, you can just come out and say it, you know?”

“Boys, boys. You’re _both_ beautiful. We don’t have to argue,” Jason jokes.

“What sort of image did you have of me in the first place, Simeon?” Asmodeus continues.

“I suppose I still think of you the same way I did back when you were up in the Celestial Realm,” Simeon nods, finger to his chin. _“Lucifer, the pride of the Celestial Realm, loved by all of creation… There was one angel he thought especially beautiful, one whom he praised and kept at his side. ‘Twas Asmodeus, jewel of the heavens.”_

“Very good poetry,” Jason claps lightly.

“Yes… yes, exactly.” Asmodeus clasps his hands together. “That’s me!”

“A traveling minstrel wrote that about you once, and it turned out to be an image that stuck. I suppose I see you as someone who’s very attached to that reputation, and works day in and day out trying to live up to it.” Simeon’s face is neutral again. Jason stops trying to comment, instead taking in everything the two have to say, saving it for later.

“Huh?” Asmodeus’s expression changes. “So you’re saying that your image of me is of **someone who wants to be loved?”**

“Yes, I suppose that would be accurate,” Simeon nods.

“Mmm…” Asmodeus shakes his head, frowning. “I don’t feel like that’s a good description of me, personally.” He rocks his arms around as he speaks. “I mean, naturally I think no one in the three worlds is more deserving of love than I am. But that’s just common sense, now isn’t it? I mean, is there anyone out there who _doesn’t_ love me?”

“Hmm, I wonder,” Simeon nods. “If you were ever to come across a soul that you couldn’t charm--that you couldn’t control--how would you react? Hmm… it’s an interesting question. Wouldn’t you agree, Jason?”

“Jason, what do you have to say about this?” Asmodeus slips onto the bed with him, almost like magic. “You think there’s actually someone out there who does **not** love me?”

Hearing his name snaps him back to the conversation. He thinks for a moment before speaking. “Who knows? And Simeon, yeah, I guess? In some sense. You can’t please _everybody,_ like, there’ll always be somebody who doesn’t like you for whatever reason. No matter what you do.”

“...What do you _mean,_ who knows? Are you just not very bright, darling?” He frowns and pouts. “I thought you were smarter than this…”

“Hey, the tour of the Demon Lord’s Castle is starting soon,” Satan pokes his head in through the door.

“Well, I suppose we should get going then,” Simeon stands and brushes off his lap.

When they get down to the main room, everyone seems to be complaining about their stay, from Beelzebub eating a painting to Mammon accidentally detailing his devilish plans with Satan and Solomon. Jason, however, is frozen, thinking about Asmodeus’s utterly depraved face as he was told that maybe not _everyone_ would love him. The brothers continue to snip amongst themselves until a voice comes out of nowhere.

“Now, now, I think it’s nice to have at least _one_ foolish character in the group you can tease. It lightens things up a little, don’t you think?”

 _“Hey!”_ Mammon shouts. “Who’re you callin’ **foolish?!”**

“...Wait a second,” Simeon looks up. “Where did that voice come from?”

“Whoopsie!” The source of the voice comes into existence. “I suppose I really should have introduced myself earlier!” It’s a small, dark, throbbing form. It has two glassy, golden eyes, sharp teeth that outline a yellowed tongue, and two golden, twisted horns, tightly coiled like a spiral-horned goat. It also had a certain dark little hat to it, though it seemed to be more like a part of the being than an accessory. It zipped around in the air, little hands waving. “Hello there, I’m Little D. No. 2!”

“Oh, my God.” Jason looks up at it in awe. “Tyz… it’s _adorable!”_

“I don’t know how you could find something like that adorable,” Tyz replies, “but hey.”

“Wh-what is _that?!”_ Luke squeals. “A tiny demon…?”

“Looks yummy,” Beelzebub nods.

“Careful, Beel,” Solomon shakes his head. “He’ll make you sick to your stomach.”

“He says that like it’s from personal experience,” Tyz whispers to Jason. He giggles.

“You all know about the Little D.’s, don’t you?” Diavolo outstretches his arms and smiles.

“Nope,” Tyz shakes their head.

“I just got here,” Jason grins.

“Oh! Well!” Diavolo clasps his hands together. “Well. Um.” He fidgets a bit. “...Apparently, Barbatos has some student council business to attend to at the moment, so I thought I’d ask Number Two here to be our tour guide.”

“Student council business?” Jason mumbles. “You’d think Barbatos would be, like, an adult.”

“I mean, how old even _is_ Lord Diavolo?” Tyz whispers back.

“Yo, Lord Diavolo!” Jason blurts out.

“Yes, my lovely exchange student?” The de facto Demon King smiles.

Tyz clasps a hand over Jason’s running mouth before he says anything he might regret later.

“Number Two may be small, but he’s very helpful,” Diavolo continues.

“Yes,” Lucifer agrees. “He’s _much_ more helpful than a certain _other_ “number two” I know.” He says all this while side-eyeing Mammon.

 **“A certain other number two?”** Mammon looks over to Lucifer. “...Who’s that?”

“Come on, Lucifer,” Tyz says, but not loud enough for the eldest to hear.

“Okie dokie, then,” Number Two speaks up. “I’ll go ahead and give a quick rundown of what we’re going to be seeing on our tour. The history of the Demon Lord’s castle is the history of the Devildom itself! We’re going to be viewing all sorts of historical artifacts and works of art housed here in the castle. And in the process, you’ll learn all about the Devildom!”

“Boring…” Mammon huffs.

“So, let’s start with this portrait here!” Number Two floats over to a large, gilded portrait of who Jason recognizes as the aging fellow from the portrait room.

“I doubt you even need to introduce _him,_ right?” Satan walks up to the portrait, along with the others.

“Don’t be so sure, Satan,” Simeon shakes his head. “After all, I’m guessing Jason and Tyz don’t know who this is.”

“I do, actually,” Jason nods. “It’s the Demon King, isn’t it?” The figure of the curly-horned man from the portrait room was forever etched in his mind.

“Right you are! This is a portrait of the Demon King himself!” Number Two smiles and points at the work.

“Ah, right, so that’s what he looks like,” Luke nods. “The last time I saw him was at a ceremony over a thousand years ago!”

“Yes, I haven’t seen my father in several hundred years myself,” Diavolo comments. “He’s slumbering at the bottom of the Devildom now.” He frowns. “I’d say he isn’t much interested in the world at large these days.”

“That crown there…” Solomon points. “What is it? I’m guessing it must belong to the Demon King?”

“Hmm?” Number Two looks at the crown. “Oh, you’re right! I didn’t even notice that crown there.” He rotates around it. “And as for whether it belongs to the Demon King… I think, maybe, it could?”

“Actually,” Lucifer interjects, “that belonged to the previous Demon King.”

“Oh, wow!” Number Two grins. “It looks like you’re right, actually! The former Demon King’s inscription is etched into the inside surface!”

“Huh, interesting,” Asmodeus folds his arms and smiles. “You certainly _do_ know a lot about this stuff, don’t you, Lucifer?”

“That’s because when I first came here, Diavolo explained what each item here was.” Lucifer grimaces. “It took him **hours.”**

“Haha, right!” Diavolo laughs. “I did, didn’t I? Ah, the memories!”

“Man, I’ve gotta hand it to Lord Diavolo,” Mammon mutters. “Even when Lucifer gets sarcastic like that, it _still_ doesn’t bother him…!”

What Mammon didn’t notice was the ring of red that seemed to wrap around Diavolo’s eyes, glowing around his pupil for just a moment, like a dirty glare, amplified with demonic magic.

The tour continued down into a lower part of the Demon Lord’s castle that seemed to expand endlessly with corinthian pillars and arches gilded with stone carvings, the room cold in its minimal lantern lighting. The group followed alongside Number Two, Tyz keeping close to Jason, Mammon trying to lead the front, Satan keeping an eye out for anything interesting, Leviathan and Asmodeus too distracted with their phones and themselves, Beelzebub munching on a snack from his bag, and Lucifer acting like the only mature one in the group.

“It’s nothin’ but paintings in here,” says Mammon, making the most basic observation one could make about a hallway full of paintings.

“Yeah.” Satan nods back at him. “There are plenty in the House of Lamentation, too, but not as much as here.”

“I haven’t stopped to look at these in quite some time myself,” Diavolo comments, taking a closer look at various artworks.

Jason was astonished at just how _many_ paintings were displayed; from an artist’s standpoint, it was more than just a lifetime of work, it was _multiple peoples’ lifetimes._ It was incredible.

“Wow, there’s even a picture of the Celestial Realm here…” Luke runs up to the picture with a gilded frame, looking at it politely with hands behind his back.

“Ah, yes,” Diavolo nods. “I believe this was painted around the time I first met Lucifer.”

“Hey, let’s not bring that up--” Lucifer attempts to stop Diavolo from launching into a discussion on the topic, holding up his hands, but fails as Diavolo prattles off about that day.

“Oh, what’s the harm in it?” The Demon Lord interjects. “The first time I met you, you were simply so _divine,_ so _awe-inspiring_ that you took my breath away.” He sighs dreamily. “I couldn’t believe such a beautiful, _magnificent_ angel actually existed.” He grins. “And then there was the way you refused to even shake my hand at first.”

“Why do you sound so happy right now…?” Lucifer frowns, brows furrowing in an upset fashion. If uncomfortable could ever be used to describe Lucifer, it would be used right now.

“He wouldn’t even shake your hand?” Satan looks up at Diavolo. “Wow, that’d be unthinkable now.”

“All of this walking around is making me hungry.” Beelzebub’s stomach rumbles as if to punctuate his emptiness.

“Man, this tour of the Demon Lord’s Castle only just started, and I’m already sick of it! Lolol. And, sent.” Leviathan nods at his phone, tapping away wildly at the digital keys.

“Uh, don’t you think it’s a _bad idea_ to be posting that sort of stuff online?!” Luke whines.

“Oi, Beel!” Mammon yelps. “Stop gnawin’ on my elbow!”

All of a sudden, a high-pitched scream echoes through the hall, piercing everyone’s ears with its horrid, shrill noise.

“What was that? Someone just screamed,” said Satan, stating the obvious.

“Ooh, I _have_ to post about this!” Leviathan continues tapping at his phone. “Just heard terrible scream! At the Demon Lord’s Castle. And, done!”

“I must be so hungry that I’m hearing things now,” Beelzebub groaned.

“Uh, if you’re hearing things,” Luke cowered a bit, “then _all_ of us are hearing things!”

“Wait a minute,” Asmodeus put a hand to his chin. “I feel like I’ve heard a scream like that somewhere before…”

Jason was able to turn himself to the source of the noise, and there it was, hanging upon the wall, a portrait of a young lady placed in a gilded frame, lined with flowery designs. She had mid-length ruby hair and wore a crisp, white dress on a background of a forest. Her lips were rosy and her eyes were like emeralds in the rough. It was a beautiful picture. But it _spoke._

“How could you…” The picture trembled on the wall. “HOW COULD YOU?!” It shouted. “Asmodeus, this is _all your fault!_ All of it, _your_ fault…!”

“Is that portrait talking?” Solomon said, also stating the obvious.

“Bingo!” Number Two grins. “Yes, you’re exactly right!”

“That’s a portrait of Helene,” Lucifer identifies it. “She was a witch.”

“Emphasis on _was?”_ Tyz comments.

“Helene…” Asmodeus appears deep in thought. “Hmm, Helene… that name sounds familiar… oh, yes!” He snaps his fingers. “Yes! Helene, I remember now!”

“So what’s goin’ on here?” Mammon folded his arms.

“Ooh! I can answer that question!” Number Two floats over to Mammon. “Helene was once known far and wide as a witch of unparalleled beauty! Countless humans, angels, and demons alike fell under her spell. But then Asmodeus here came along and seduced her, leading her to betray her lover at the time.”

“Yes, I had a feeling that’s where this story was headed,” Simeon frowns.

“War erupted as a result of her betrayal, a great war that destroyed an entire country,” Number Two continued. “And Helene was derided as a horrible, wicked woman who had sold her soul to a demon. What she had to endure was awful…!”

“So you’re saying all this happened because Asmodeus fooled around with some woman long ago?” Satan frowns, putting a hand on his hip.

“One of Asmodeus’s ex-girlfriends just showed up! OMG! And, sent!” Leviathan taps on his phone again.

“Ahaha! Now wait a minute, everyone,” Asmodeus puts up his hands in defense. “We’re talking about something that happened _hundreds_ of years ago!” He shoves those hands in his pockets. “But regardless… Helene, I never expected to run into you here of all places! I mean, what are the chances?! Wow, it’s been sooo looong! So, wha’cha up to these days, hm?”

“Holy shit, he’s the most tone-deaf of them all,” Jason whispers to Tyz.

“It’s almost like he’s still trying to flirt,” Solomon sighs.

“Hey, Asmodeus,” Jason speaks up, trying to get the demon’s attention. “You know, maybe you should _apologize_ for what happened.”

“...After what happened,” Helene continued, “I incurred the wrath of the nephew of my former lover, who was a sorcerer. He sealed me inside of this painting.”

“The nephew of your ex?” Asmodeus gasped. “Are you talking about Demetrios?!” He giggles. “I don’t believe it! The first time I saw him, he was just a little munchkin. You’re telling me he grew up to be a sorcerer capable of doing something like **that?!** Well, that **is** impressive! You know, Demetrios’s father was a grade-A hunk, so I imagine his son must’ve turned into **quite** the man himself…”

 **“...Silence!”** Helene barks.

“It’s been so long since I’ve heard you say that!” Asmodeus swoons. “Ah, the memories…”

“Asmodeus… you haven’t changed one bit!” Helene launches into a scalding diatribe. “You’re still the same awful womanizer of a demon you’ve always been! Not a _day_ has passed that I haven’t thought of how much I hate you, how much I _resent_ you! **NOT ONE SINGLE DAY!”**

“Mhm, thank you. I missed you too, you know?” Asmodeus smiles.

“It’s like he didn’t even notice,” Jason whispers again.

“I may be imprisoned inside this portrait,” Helene growls, “but I haven’t lost all my power. Oh, _no._ In fact, I still have enough power to capture you, as you’re about to see…!”

“Oh dear!” Number Two’s smile turns to a frown. “Everyone be careful now, mmkay? Because it just so happens that Helene’s portrait is known to drag those who look at it _inside the painting itself!”_

“AUUUGH, I’M BEIN’ DRAGGED IN!” Mammon yelps. “WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY SOMETHIN’ EARLIER?!”

“Aaaah! Mammon grabbed onto me, and now he’s pulling ME into the painting too! OMG! ...Sent!” Leviathan squirms as he, too, is dragged into the painting.

“C’mon, Levi! Dig in! We’re losin’ ground here!” Mammon slams his heels into the floor, to no avail.

“You _know_ I sit inside all day!” Leviathan scrambles helplessly, like a fish out of water. “I’m not strong enough for this!”

“...Ugh, I’m so hungry that I’m too weak to keep from being pulled in,” Beelzebub groans.

“Solomon? Why are you holding onto my arm?” Asmodeus looks over to him.

“Because when it comes down to it, this is all _your_ fault,” Solomon grimaces. “So if I’m going in… so are you.”

“Well then, in that case, I’ll pull in Tyz along with us!” Asmodeus reaches out for them, but his hand is pushed away by Jason.

“Nope,” Jason says, lucky he’s heavy enough to not be immediately sucked in. “Tyz has nothing to do with this, but I… don’t have anything to do with this either!”

“Jason!” Tyz shouts.

“I put my bro above everything,” Jason grins as he’s dragged into the painting along with the offending parties. “Stay here and… I dunno, make out with Lucifer or something! And if I die… _delete my internet history!”_

With that, Jason is fully consumed by the painting, oil marks on Helene’s brushed lips rearranging into a sadistic grin. Not a trace of the other brothers has been left, and only Satan, Lucifer, Diavolo, Number Two, and Tyz remain outside of the painting.

“...Internet history?” Satan puts a hand on his chest.

 **“...Make out with Lucifer?”** Lucifer frowns and mirrors the action.

“Try not to die,” Tyz shouts at the painting, even though they know deep down that Jason can’t hear them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER HAD TO BE SPLIT BECAUSE IT HIT 10K AND IT WAS JUST... too damn long for one chapter. Hope y'all understand!! You'll see the second part eventually (I'm hoping within the next week or so) and thanks for stickin with me


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